When The Heaviness Gets Real: A Millennial’s Journey with Breast Cancer – With Jenna Cole
This mighty woman has been a dear friend for almost 15 years! She has always been a fitness guru with a shared gymnast heart, like me, to always put our health at the forefront of our life. But recently she has come into a new experience in her health journey; one that has taken her and her family by surprise. The big C word is scary and she had multiple ways to respond – either in pursuit or pause. After a “heavy” reminder from God himself, she knew she would not be alone in the journey through breast cancer.
Learn how this mama of 2, wifey, new business owner and full time working professional handled all of her hats with grace through this unexpected turn with breast cancer.
Go show Jenna some Love – and Cheer her on through her continued journey – Ra Ra Jenna – We love you!
Show Notes: Millennials Journey With Breast Cancer
You guys, we are a vacationing I am, she’s home in Wilmington right now, and I could not miss us opportunity to share with you one of my nearest and dearest friends, so dear and back that she was nine months… Literally nine months pregnant and walked down the aisle in a bikini at my web, I go out, so you know you’re a good friend was… So as you walk on the aisle, your nine months pregnant in a McKenna, and so… So we go way back to our college girl days day and you do do… Yeah, so I find… And she’s just continued to be somebody that I can consider one of those people that I could ask to be a bridesmaid today, if I got remarried to my same husband, because I love him so much, of course, but we’ve grown in such dramatic ways over the course of the last itinerant, it’s been the client here, I know 12 it or a… It’s crazy.
This is a one, I’m like, I was my job.
I’m also deer, 11 years old, so it’s like the teenager re… Most have a friend divers then to 15 years, we gotta do something epic that would be one or two years ago.
So I’m gonna introduce you to genomic peak cold.
That was her name. I think she’s still in my phone as that, but I love unique… A part of her, for sure. So I don’t even know where to start, because when I get to podcast with friends that are family, I could go anywhere, which is so exciting and also really harsher, are we gonna go with this in… And so that’s porous know if you’re an Abilene to the base podcast that I don’t script. I don’t ask questions, I don’t probe questions, I don’t really prepare them whatsoever, to the point where I’ve had some people on… They’ve come into the office and they’re like, I…
Oh, this is on camera. This is why I had no idea. Well, I knew and I just didn’t know the extent of like, Okay, actually go there, like my camera action at… But yeah, so she’s here and I decided, and I want you… I want you to jump in from the place of sharing with people, really your most recent journey, because I feel like that’s gonna just touch people in such a crazy way, and it’s not… It impacts you as an individual, it’s impacted our friendship, but it’s also impacted you as a wife than a mom, and the role in your community. So tell us about genes…
I know this is so crazy ’cause I’m like, Where do I start as far as the journey of living in her…
I… Not in a 10 as she left me, she was… Bremerton was… Yeah, and then we moved here kind of like everything went crazy, so moved here with a two equal baby in the car, and I know it’s so, so crazy, I’m like, How do we can get here to… Ecole baby in the car moved into a new house, so I… Ashanti?
Oh yes, he was fine and I moved here and yeah, we were trying to just figure out, Okay, what’s the next point? Like, we’re here, but now what are we doing to meet new people and we need to just start living our lives and making friends and starting to sort and everything… Yeah, I start over. But it’s so exciting, so had a baby and then I going to the health stuff or… ’cause it was not crazy like that as launch a restaurant, that was… After the conversation was, okay. We’re starting a restaurant. So that was exciting. My husband’s always wanted to do this, it’s something that… But a dream of his, and he had friends in Virginia Beach that already opened up one, and the opportunity arose where we had a killer location, and so while we were living here, we moved what, September and the the… This has been like a talk for a on… This was all under way, but it was a lot behind the same, so when we had to… All that stuff going on, I’m still working, I have my job, and then I got much… A little kid, it is a… So, and this summer comes around and things are really starting to take off at the restaurant, we were start to get approvals, were starting to… Now we can start doing bills and all this exciting steps going on, I remember the day we came downtown for lunch and we got the news of the city, okabe, usual rites will Beach because it’s not… It is.
So I, I got the news and that same day I had gone to see… It was the same, I had an ultrasound and I was like a couple of days prior, that same week, I had felt… I guess this is breastfeeding for solo, you kinda get to know your booster well, you know what I eat, it had been like three months and I stopped and I still like… Things were still trained a… All that stuff. So one random night, I was feeling them, I don’t normally do that that often, but I was… And I felt all my… A little mom and I was like, This is not normal. And I had Nick feel and I was like, Well, this is really very much an appointment, like Cody and gosh, would you inherit one or… No, yeah, no, I was like, you know, I call my real doctor or whatever… Yeah, so main appointment, and I was supposed to even work travel that week and at this waiting… And a weird feeling like something.
Is it right? But it’s not like I felt like basically, I was fun, whatever. I was like, I got… Yeah, I got feeling like he was also… I went, Oh, was like, Go get an ultrasound. Just be saved.
Okay, cool. So that same week, I literally call every single day, they were like, Okay, I’ll see you in two weeks, so I can wait two weeks. For sure, I’m like, I e the answer now, we all are… We’re all like, Yeah, yeah. So I call, I call in multi-times today, I was crazy, it was like, I need to get in. This is just weird. Yeah, like, Oh, that same day I’m meeting for lunch, I go that morning and I’m like, Okay, I’m just gonna get an ultrasound, and so I went and had the ultrasound done, and the lady there was like, I just got back from a great cancer sort of conference type thing.
And so I eat… She was like looking at my ultras doing a thing, and she was like, I can guarantee you that this is just a five-word now, which is totally be in like… No worries. We like, you’re good to go.
Yeah, and it was like that confident…
I was like, Oh no. Oh, okay, and so kind of going back in time. In October, we moved here in September. So in October, I had a… A lump, but I was breastfeeding, I was an obese. At that point I was… And this all happens. So I knew the drill, right. As this is weird, I went to get tracked and they were like, It’s fun things, not deal, but I was freaking out, I was like, This is so scary, ’cause I was like Googling things I was at…
I use STATS have you know what I mean?
And just naturally, it’s hard to not freak down to the hosting… Right, a baby. And it’s just crazy. I started to learn from that experience to not freak out, and it’s so hard to do, but not to freak out, I was like, Don’t freak out, because last time I did everything was fine, so I think it’s fine.
So I haven’t notepad my Don frontier saying, you don’t know. And they were like, is fine, it’s… You’re good. Yeah, go on.
Have it be… I’m like, Yeah, okay, I land… I just didn’t feel like when I left the first time, when that scare… Have them. Yeah, I was like, I’m right.
Good, I’m good. This time I left and I was like, I don’t feel okay. Something isn’t right. I don’t know, it was… So anyways, it was weird, so a week later I was my non-Mason’s PREA, even as birthday party, I was like…
I was like, This could be my last.
And I, in these things, I’m very matter of fact, very like level-headed, I go, I, I don’t… And these thoughts in my head, it was very weird, really good at maintaining a… I’m like, Yeah, very… Like You may live a… Yeah, yes, yeah, that… So I was like, this is just all said in and then so is these are just weird thoughts, feelings is having, and then a week would go by, I remember it was in August, I was the middle August, and I remember feeding Hayes and his room, sighs room I had a bottle. Yeah, and I’m telling you, I’ve never had a religious type of experience for… Yeah, but there was like a heavy presence, which is create to be presence. Something isn’t right, to the point where it gave me… It gave me… What word? Piece that he was very sure. Yeah, it’s gonna be okay. I got you and I… We do, but it was the crazy thing, it was like a… Actually, I haven’t seen anybody, I was just like in my hallway and this doorway, it was at this… And how we’re to my whole… But I was like It something… So I don’t it happening, it was constant and I would pray. I’m always prayed, but I’ve never been… I don’t know that we have this communication in some… It was going on. So that that can happen in… I was like, I need to just kept… Wayne make it call. I try to get one.
I finally call my Oji and like, Can we just triple-check this, I just don’t feel like something’s right.
Yeah, go in. She’s like, I want you to use… Her oncologist surgeon, she’s a restaurant, some different, totally different… She was like, she now… And this appointments a month later, he’s really her get into… And in the mean time, we have this massive hurricane that hits us, we believe in… Yeah, it was a big one. So I put this to a… Right. Whole thing. Yeah, that was real sane, that one, I… That I… But it was in… Yeah, I… It was during that period of time, and my appointment happened to be the week… We got back on a Sunday and happened to be that Monday. Okay, Aeolian appointment. I could have been a week early, a… Would it… Yeah.
A push that even further, so I go to see her and I’m like, plates, no hatred. Me something, I was like, Oh, I as so, I’m sitting there and she’s feeling like, I think it’s… I don’t think it’s a man thing, she’s like, Let’s do not nod, just a check, so… And even masons with me to the one where he’s in the room and they’re doing a culture down and she’s like, Let’s just do a biopsy, but I don’t think that’s anything… I really think he’s like a… Never again.
It’s good. I’m like, you’re like… And Mason’s living the corner on my phone, I’m like, Sure. Sound, she’s like, biosa, not at me going in in tenth.
Anyways, I got like just a needle, like is a right… We can… They did it A… Yeah.
Okay. And I Tierra, yeah. I’m like, this is… That is happening. Yes, so then the next day, she’s like, Well, now the next day, a person waiting and waiting, waiting, and I’m sitting there once again. It’s like that, send them in the couch with Hasan his room, and just her… Her cell phone, I ended less.
I am so taken back by this because I come to find out you have invasive doctor persona, you have breast cancer, and I’m like, Were the kids with you when you find… Was with me, I was outside with her neighbor, the I in a…
Oh my God, I was like, okay, and that was… Is that meal the details? She was like, It’s estrogen base, all this stuff that she knew who I liked, I don’t know how to process this at all, I don’t… I’m just sitting there like, Okay.
Yeah, well, she’s like, So, come in the office more, and I’m on… Okay, and then I call Nick up stairs and I’m like, it was just so crazy. I honestly, you crying ’cause you’re not too… That is very… No, my crying started when I was so lucky. So mass with me, I told him that he was in… He’s in year-round school. Yes, yes, he was on break or another week and a half, and I leaned on him. He was in my life.
Yeah, so… Think of the time, yeah, yeah. But he was like my… And the next… What was so sad about Nick is that as soon as we get back and I’m fighting out the stuff, he’s opening this restaurant, he has to go in the… And so it was chaos were… He couldn’t be there, and he is the old site love, but he’s like, I’ll do everything free, and he just couldn’t be there and i silene on him, and I think I needed that time alone now, so at the… There being a question, right?
I, I just like, Yeah, I just need… And I’m all…
I like to be alone, so I just need this, but… And so we…
I got A… I was like, Okay. Anyways, so I was a cry, I just, I called Nick, ’cause he was outside in the ECCO outside of my area. Serotonin?
No, right, but my whole thing was, I sold at the next day to the appointment, my dad watch me on, I was like… I was like a Yahweh.
And me, I’m so like, I didn’t know, I didn’t know what the… This is not a hereditary… Right, so then it’s not like your mom had it and you were like, Maybe I am… Yeah, right. So you had no one to base it off, well, and the only thing that they based it off that they were like… So my dad had a melanoma, but a year before… Okay, same time. And so they were like, Well, sometimes bracketing can fall up, like it’s one of those things where the male has melanoma anyways, I not having raced the bracket G, but basically walk in the appointment. She’s like, Do you want kids? That’s the first question. I’m like, no kid is like after… As a kid, I was gonna like… It wasn’t as like, I’m like, I’m like, Oh my God, we’re just conversation anyway, so I had all these… She, all the tests and all this stuff done, what do you wanna do as for surgery goes. And so I just had a lot of research on my AAA plan.
Yeah, Doctor is kind of like… So anyway, so I’m trying to think, we’re gonna go to this… To my surgeon, she in my surgery, and then I met with an oncologist who’s now my treatment person, and so fast forward to… You get the diagnosis.
Yeah, and how soon after? ’cause I felt like it happened so fast that you had to go into surgery, so that… And then you either to a… So I see the find out very first, it was like October second or skins Awareness Month.
Then November 5th, I have the double-masted and then we did reconstructions of Chris a week, so I end had the… For the end of the year.
And no, I had to get it in. So my thing was, was after my dome, they do a test now, can teeth probability of it coming back?
I sensed a cancer, so I had that done, its totes and I had that done, and my percentage was higher than what we thought it was going to be, which then decides my treatment plan because then, for example, some people decide, Okay, we need to do chemo, not and I was teetering, what do we do? Do I want he out ya.
So I think I can… So now, yeah, so Christmas week and make a decision. ’cause she was either, we start chemo as students, press is done, whatever, or you’re getting your reconstructive surgery at a reconstruction… Right, the end of December, right.
So I opted Christmas Eve on the phone in my colleges, and I’m like, What do I do is… I can’t tell I… You have to… This is it, it’s a… It’s me, I decided to do a more aggressive Mormon therapy, and I’m like, Biggers cross the…
I know I signed it to, and then I did re-construction the last… How much played… Did Nick having that conversation where you, what do I do? Or do you think the decision together, or was it another like, I have to go with my… God, I have to go, Oh my God.
It was like I had to go with what my doctor was kind of tell me, and then my mom’s best friend had Rose came, I was trying to go up the people that I kind of knew, I eat gone through it.
It was ragtime.
I don’t even… I was like, I don’t know, I’m just gonna have to feel like I will not regret my decision and… And after you said, Do you had that experience with the heavens presence? Did you ever experience that again, during this, the… If you ever feel like there was affirmation on which one you should… Yeah, I told, I feel like I don’t have it. I’m gonna come back. Yeah, I wouldn’t regret what I did, and I feel like I did, I prayed over and I was left.
What do I do remember? Some reason I was like, I don’t know, ’cause it was such a teeter, I’m like, I don’t wanna do it already. Yeah, I was like, Am I making my decision? ’cause I just don’t wanna go to chemo or like… I know, but is so young, so it’s like… That was the other thing. It was a lot of factors.
But then now, so then Jane were first on a ranger, I started my treatment plan… It’s crazy, so I… And now… And then the restaurant start open in the end of October, so that was to go in grade and a man was going. Great, yeah, and it was all work from home, so you were working through it, so I was working a part… I did take time to be from the surgeries, I couldn’t hold has for my months that just so I was in… Do the baby… Is that duration was a pretty low… A couple of months, right?
Yeah, I was… Yeah, that’s a month after you are a month and a half after you. And did you ever have a moment of full on breakdown? Yeah, I did, but it was at Tanis after everything, and I realized it was January. Really? Of course, I did. The first week I found out, I was like, I probably cried so much that I couldn’t like cry anymore, I… In Ernesto? Yeah, it is what I had to do it.
I just got, I go, right. I was like, Okay. And then it was… Oh, and then January. Yeah, I… It’s because I realized I was because I was with Doctor so much, they were holding my hand, they had like I was using… I was like In the Nest with the mommy bird and they were likely got the… And then you’re good, like you’re on your own, like you’re good, and it’s like You… There he flooring out in a… Sure.
So that was really the catapult to for you already had been healthy conscious person, I feel like anywhere… I felt like, you know what I mean? I was in vain. I played a huge part in that, I think because he always had to do is and stuff like that, that you had to be conscious, which then changed your diet a bit.
Then you were like, Okay, during this war, Minter, then head on in, I’m going home. I do, yeah. Yeah, so in that process, so that was a huge undertaking, and it’s a lifestyle change is so crazy is I feel like when someone diets to lose weight, I told to us my mom, so I was like, I… I… With someone… Yeah, it was like a… Isabel is the same thing, it’s just like how it’s in your head now on… We’re trying to lose weight. It’s like, No, where’s my brand? Where’s my ear? Whatever it is. And then for this, I was scared straight, I was like, you had that one in… In the nage books, and that was research, just educating myself, help. But I told, I was like, This is the only thing that I can control.
And even though it may not, probably can’t say that because it does have a huge factor in it, like even if you were to come back at is I felt like I had done everything that I humanly possibly could have done.
Sure, and that’s in a… Yeah, and then just like, Oh yeah. The researching I was doing, I was like, I can’t be eating.
Sure, A. and the point where I’ve done so much educating myself that I’m like, Okay, basically, if you need anything, I do, which is obviously really hard, so when you are at and you consider yourself in any of the brief, I will be in, and that was being… What I know, so I’m kind of like, Sure. Last one, right?
So I was definitely began a core of while and then I… It was more, I would eat some that I started eating some fish… Yeah, everything is strictly organism, eating out, and I can’t go to a raise, everything’s working at… Yeah, and I won’t let my kids also be anything that’s not organic, I’m very hard core about that and… But I’ll still give them… I wasn’t eating me, I haven’t had read me in over a year… Yeah, but I tested recently eating organic chicken. Okay, it’s rare. It’s like, it’s like about making a big Stu for everyone. Okay, ’cause I… We got to a point where like the summer… Like this past year, I was making so many different themes, and that’s honestly always the problem we… Especially if it’s like a health or into dying.
I turned it’s hard because you only… That person has that problem, it like this, he likes this, she’s so hard to be a mom in that environment, I’m not even the cook in my household, and I still think it’s hard, or my husband… He’s just like that. Then they’re hungry and our rule is that they can have anything out of the fridge at any point in the day, because everything in the fridge is wrong, it’s like good. There is nothing in there. We don’t keep cold crap in there, nothing is from the grocery store is going to go bad and in days. So that’s our role. Some people don’t choose, you’re not allowed to touch the fridge or go in the kitchen without asking Mommy and Daddy, but… Oh no, we’re just like, you have control over that. Now we’ve covered… That’s another question, because everything in there, for the most part, we have to cook for them, like… No, yeah. It’s not something that they can just like pop up in… We just don’t really have stuff like that, and if we do it now and it’s way of high… Yeah, I don’t have access to it, but I just think it’s so hard. And I can’t imagine from the health-conscious part, have to walk through that and now I was a very crazy… It was, Yeah, but it was so easy because I edited, I do not wanna go through this again, and if I can help myself and then my long-term health to, Oh my… My kids, you know, I’m like, Oh my God, the step is… Could happen or I see. I’m like, Oh yeah.
So that also within that healing journey, ’cause I think this is such a valuable part of my healing journey and my own experiences, and they weren’t even health-oriented… Is like a community, yeah.
Did you find other young survivors or people walking through it that you could talk to even on Instagram, what they’re like, I… And honestly, when I was looking, it wasn’t… I felt like there was not a lot Instagram I was searching for. I was like, Someone, please be like, right. And there weren’t a lot. I just… People just are point, they just were there the… They’re like, I know someone, I know someone. And then it’s to the point where I’m like, so many people have been through this.
Like there are so many people.
So as to cause I don’t like, I just knew a few people that I go through it, but now I make it a point, I talk to so many people in Instagram about what they’re going through and what… ’cause it’s like you don’t have anyone help you decide these things, and I’m gonna help… Is Kim gonna tell so much what he should do, but it’s just a comfort thing, and you’re like, well, and you’re like living… And you’re living a lie. This is, I wanna get your normal I… Yeah, and I… The biggest thing for me with these people, it’s like, Okay, you have a ton of anxiety, it’s like these are like… Last year was not healing here in year for me, it was a processing… Freak out when I was going to a doctor’s office, or is it to go there? I would just go and start and I… Cause treatment was how often it’s… So it is a form of kids for as form of chemo, but Hill form… To take it every day. Okay, and then my shots or every three months used to be every month reside, like you were all we…
Oh yeah, yeah, and I could do it. So that way I…
I can like, I’m not your last… ’cause this is miserable. And there at a toy, it was very hard to… I was trying to navigate it all, and then I started feeling really… My side effects are really bad from it, so then I was trying to get used to that too, it was just a lot with work and the kids, he just trying to… My body was completely changing, I was like, What is happening? So yeah, I don’t know if that comfort… And then January hit and I was just like on my own, so learning how to process at all, and then I started to get the side effects, and then another medical issue happen in August, they get to watch about it, if I know really in that I had blood clots and both my lungs now… Yeah, as I hesitantl.
So I know it’s not a… To be like, Yes, or, Oh, I do a show on E-O.So it… Was it a staff? In fact, too.
Yeah, and I didn’t know. So I… What was happy? This crazy chest pains. Okay.
And I was like, I know I get anxious. Is you ever been once again to Netanya and I knew in July, so I actually red one, I took myself in the one… Yeah, back in Mashable, chest pains. I do a last test and I get yangon, I was like, It’s weird though, it’s not like I feel like it’s like I’m having a heart attack and I was like, Maybe I’m just having panic attacks that that one… Well, we get it looks like… Yeah, totally. And then I knew July was coming up in July, I felt very kind of panicky just because it was like I… Here, and I never associated things like that, but it was happening. Yeah, I was like, I got a role with it, I eat, so… And I prescribe medication for anxiety… Okay, I needed that. Sure.
Which is or great.
And I am happy to take it when I don’t need it hardly ever now, but when I need to, I need it. Yeah, so I was like, I’m just takes medication, whatever. So I, I was happening, I was like, God, increase Chas fans. Really, really, really bad. The medication would even help touch it, and I was like, Okay, it’s going on, so I got really… I like to throw… And at one point, one night I was so sick, I was like in me, I was like, I just hurt so bad. I kinda hard to await a call and I was a trip to… I was in the room a loan, I was like Nick to No, 6 to state with Mason or whatever. And I was in… Holloman was like, I’m freaking out, and then I’d be fine, whatever. And so the next one is like, I’m trying to myself to the car, I… Myself, I’m like, No, I do the… You are again, he was just go, Yeah, we need to… Yeah, actually worked out that morning and I was like, I feel like I need to move, just get like some of the… Yeah, I was a the show up there and they’re like the deaths tests, and they were like, Well, one of these blood… They have blood tests, if you maybe as a… What class? Which I no idea. Yeah, it’s highly likely that you might, but it could just be Because you’re heighten its here, you know, at this point, I’m so kind of emotionally not one, right.
With stuff like this that I was just like, Oh, my computer in my work, I was like, it’s good, it’s all good.
And literally, I’m calling it, so I get a CT scan. We go to a tandem, like it’s just no big deal. I got whatever I… And then I guess to scan my mic waiting and he comes in, he’s like, So you blood clots in both of your lungs, and he was like, We need to do an immediate… They put this huge shot in my stomach and they were like, We’re taking you to… To the hospital, and I’m like 30 months way from the hospital, ’cause I drove to this super like… Nice. But nice is we… ’cause it’s like, Oh, where R? And so they were like, You can’t leave… You want the strings in the hospital, and I’m sitting there, I’m like, What?
Now, I soon I knew and we have booked in to zero trip, so I was like, that’s a rare thing. Like I got the flat… A straight person. I was like a color… Yeah, I like the things to do. Totally, I was like, No. Why? And it was his birthday week that we all as a non… So was The Entente birthday week, and it was just like the one… I know it was all August, so I was like, August is kind of infinite. It’s like a rock man, but… Sure. So that thing, even I was just like, Oh my God. And so anyways, I’m fun. It takes to Alto, ’cause I’m like an EA or a man, and I don’t even know what that is. I have a blood thinner, all goes, okay.
I’m like, Oh, I’m like at the as her and all this stuff. And it was the number one side effect of my medication in a… You just didn’t think anything of Ayesha, no idea. And if I know I had known that, now I know, right? Sweetheart know that the side effect of blood clots was testing… It’s the weird is, I think would be like… Or it could be tens or where they are.
So I entered… You were with it. It would be like, mine was right here, and I was like, Well, I have a lot of surgery.
Right, and you didn’t do that. It was break me out, I would think like, Oh my gosh, I tolerate… After that, I was in… So not in a… Only in August, I was like, I’m having read a TA, I had got the goal…
Oh my Fidelis it back in my mum, I thought it was a great… And I Googled and I fell long cancer side of like, I need to say to… Yeah, this is like a in I all I ate.
So then it’s so funny because I say in November, I go, I ask a follow-up point and so on, I’m on all these medications with… And I’m sitting there and I’m like, just sitting… This doctor’s office, and he was looking at me and he was like, he’s like, Are you okay? And I’m like, I’ve got like I’m timing, you know.
I felt like I was just a mess, but I’m sure, but I wasn’t… I don’t know, I was just like, so much is this is all heavy. And yeah, I don’t know, I’m like, I feel not okay. And he was just like, You need to maybe go talk to something… I was just gonna ask that. Yeah, it was like, you need to like… He’s like, Oh my God, like my daughter is your ass, I can’t imagine what you been through wisest, like looking at me and I’m like… It was like, I sat there, I was at Cal cause not a cry, I like… Yeah, so are… We went to my car and I was like hysterical crying. I was like, I need it. That it was like, I… Testes, but I also think I had major anxiety. I didn’t Sorenson. It was just like I, I, I remember it is our saying that maybe I saw that you could… A picture of you after it that I had gotten in, say that you were in the home, I don’t know, but I… In an alliance and tend… Then I’m like, I don’t know. So we are now, what, four months pass Battersea in a… No, I’m like, What do I need to do for the online?
So in December, I was like, I am over the… Like I am so as the point I was like, I need to start because the meat and was also like, Oh, you’ve had this crazy surgery that’s happened to your chest, all everything is still… It’s still healing.
And I was like, okay, I just see, I’m like, I need to do something. So I was trying to find someone to talk to or some kind of someone, and then I was like, I gonna start getting massages, so maybe that will help, just I’m like, I just… I do a… Yeah, and so the awareness was like this year, I landed a process all that last year, and definitely this year, sometimes I feel like… I don’t even think about it. It’s just great. You’re like… But I also, I don’t know if it’s just like I like compartment, I’m like, So rent in very… Right, and like I need to… I think last year I could try to suppress it a lot, he probably was like, I need to start living… Understand. Have you still not actually. Down something I accuse.
No, so what I come to, an amazing… She is so this girl story and a whatever, and I followed into this hole and I found this amazing girl and I only actually been door one… That’s okay.
I wanna see her more, what happened to be… It was great, we hit it off, but then I’ve also been getting massages and I started to go to physical therapy too, because my doctor was like, You need to start working on it.
Sure, I’m just starting to feel like… Yeah, I need to continue. So it’s all new stuff, like a… Okay. But I feel like I’m being… My hands being held and like good.
Yeah, so I was in was a… I got a… It’s just so much… I do a really a friend because I’m there for like… I remember a launching down and tearing like the intimacy of the story, but I… There’s really no excuse, but it’s hard to grasp that for somebody else, other than to just be like, I’m praying for you that I love you, I hope you’re on you saints hard and then I don’t wanna always talk to you like you are a wounded bird when I just be like, How’s motherhood now housing? How the… So I work because there’s our other parts to you, and I feel like when somebody has something really traumatic like that happens, it sometimes becomes the only…