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Suffering is a Choice

We will always have pain in this life, in fact, even as Christians it is guaranteed biblically. But it is a choice in how we suffer through it. My sweet husband gently made this bold statement during an intimate conversation surrounding a hurtful predicament that has lasted for months. I looked into his eyes as he shared his heart with someone and was quite awestruck in the moment. This man has been experiencing his own transformation, walking through his own pain too, as I simultaneously evolve alongside him. But it was in this comment that I gripped his hand, shifted focus from my pain to his and fell more in love.
I married one of those men who never cried – I mean never. I anticipated it all the time because my childhood household and family has a bunch of crying giants, but that wasn’t his way. I thought on our wedding day – nope. I thought when we birthed our babies – nope. Years later in a time of pain I saw the release and since then both from happiness and sadness, I’ve witnessed his emotion in an outer way. However, I’m realizing the depth of his emotion far outlasts a tear. But he doesn’t sit in a place of suffering, no matter the pain. I’ve always been self- focused in my emotions, but he’s been a rock the last few years that I never thought I’d need. He’s quiet when I just need a hug. He’s vocal when I need perspective. He’s calm when I can be crazy. He’s grounded when I’m flying. He’s patient when I’m eager. And now I can surely declare his wisdom. This Christmas, in that difficult conversation, I fell more in love with my husband. Santa, I’m not sure you can top that one! Don’t let the world, the enemy, or even yourself lock you in a place of suffering. There you won’t be able to breathe. There you’ll be downcast and miss the opportunities of joy. Yes, we all have areas or pain this holiday season and always, but it’s by choice that you suffer. Find a way to embrace the pain while leaving space for all of the beautiful emotions that will counteract the hurt.

John 16:33 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
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