What You Possess You Confess: Speak Life In the Dark – With Madelyn Stallings

We are living in a desolate world, all in need of healing. Our exteriors have become more important than our interiors. Our souls are mal-nutritioned. Our hearts are deprived of the necessary oxygen we need to breathe. We slap bandaids over deep wounds and expect to move on without dedicating any time to triage or therapy. We aren’t ever giving ourselves an chance for true recovery.

We have an opportunity for an abundantly whole existence and were simply handing it over day by day, situation by situation, sin by sin. Sometimes without even being aware of what we are giving away. Leaving us broken, starved and sick.

In this episode I have the pleasure of introducing you to someone who is always willing to stake claim over your health because she declares it out loud.

Speak life
Madelyn Stallings

She will speak life over you!

Tune in to my fire breathing friend, Madelyn Stallings. Get ready to be ignited.

Connect With Madelyn:

https://www.facebook.com/madelyn.stallings
https://www.instagram.com/mad_love_1214/

Listen to the Full Episode here: https://fitinfaith.podbean.com/e/episode-5-what-you-possess-you-confess-with-madelyn-stallings/

Show Notes: Speak Life: What You Possess You Confess – With Madelyn Stallings

Tamra: Lining after my first Sunday experience at Parkway Christian center balling ugly, crying the whole time, a stranger approaching you just glowing and she poured fire into my marriage at that moment. And you just laid into us. You had no idea who I was, no idea who we were no idea. Our predicament. And it was exactly what we needed to hear. And we pretty much never missed a Sunday, a Wednesday, a Monday, any day that Parkway had something going on. We were there. 

You, because you and Jay were there because Anthony and Morgan were there. And I’ve just been so blessed by your friendship, by the powerful presence of the Lord. Every time that I feel like we’re together I will never forget our intimate experience. We were just to have a threesome in that. Well, that sounds [inaudible]. We’re supposed to have a threesome in the hotel room was when I was about to say with Morgan the heart at a Christian conference, people, three women were having an overnight stay at a Christian conference and one of them got sick.

And I remember thinking, Oh my gosh, you’re gonna leave me. Like I’ve never really had one-on-one intimate experience with Madeline. Like getting to know you. And it ended up being such a special, blessed time. And I feel like ever since that time in our friendship, I’ve constantly like you have to meet her, you have to meet, you have to be Eric. So I am pouring in all of the expectations right now. I’m not supposed to do that, but I know no, God’s going to show up because he always doesn’t work together. So thanks for being.

Madelyn Stallings: Thank you for having me. It’s, it’s a, it’s an honor. It’s a pleasure. And I just look forward to, you know, what God’s going to do and just how he’s going to use this just to just talk and somebody can relate to what we’re saying and just those aha moments. Oh yeah. Well, you know, I look forward to that and I want to say you are such a light. You blow from the inside out. Your smile is infectious. Your spirit just exudes joy and you are also a joy to be around. And I didn’t know her at all, but there was something about her, you and your husband and the Lord just put something inside of me and I just, I had to, I had to. If you don’t, you miss those moments. Yeah. And you never know what one word can do to save and change somebody’s life.

Tamra: True. And I feel like ever since I’ve known you, you’ve always been that person to just like grasp, hold of it and live in the moment, in the right ways. And we can also live in the wrong moment in the wrong ways. But since God has taken control of your life in such a like evident way since I’ve gotten to know you and I want to be better about that and I feel like the podcast has given me the opportunity to just, you say what you’re feeling, what your heart is telling you to do at that moment. And so often. And I think it’s just because most of the time we’re down on our phone or there’s no eye contact anymore or there’s no rest to just be that. People don’t do that. So I’m, I’m glad that, that you’re an example of that in my life for sure.

Madelyn Stallings: I’m glad I can be and I’m glad you met me on the latter end of my life because you really had a good point because before that I was a hot man.

Tamra: Where we all were. We all before Jesus got a hold of us.

Madelyn Stallings: Yeah. He left the 99 to come and get this one. I love that. And so his love is just, and that’s for everybody. That is, he is no respecter of person. He will leave everyone else to come to get that one. You, whoever you are, wherever you are, you’re never too far that he can’t reach you. I mean, he literally went into hell and took the keys from Satan. So yeah, I mean, you know, he’s just such a loving,

Tamra: He is, I had a remembered when you said the hot mess. I think that so often nowadays, especially moms, we like to claim these phrases over our lives, hot mess being one of them. And for a while, I thought it was cute, like hot mess express teas or the mugs and, or the messy bun and all of that. And I realized the more that it was happening, the more that women were owning it and that it was okay that we were discombobulated or that our lives looked like they were in shambles. When you’re in your home and there are toys everywhere and there’s chaos everywhere. But I don’t think that those coined cute phrases are how God established us is it establishes us to be. And I started just like declaring otherwise. And when I would see these slogans, I’m like, man, that’s such a shame that society has pressed that upon us.

Madelyn Stallings: Because you weren’t you. One thing my mom always taught me growing up was what you confess, you possess. So what you say is what you have. So if you say, you know, I’m a hot mess and that is exactly what you’re going to be. And that’s why I said I was a hot mess. You know, and I’m, you have to be, we have to be very careful about it may seem like, Oh, it’s not a big deal, but it is a big deal because the power of life and death comes right out of this hole right here. And so if you speak life, you’ll get a life. You know, it says, given this job and giving the measure per style, that’s even with the words that you say, whatever you’re giving into the atmosphere, it never leaves the atmosphere. So you have to be very careful that something that even now I still work on.

Look, we never reach Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Of course. Never. We’re always striving and people say, Oh, we should have to strive, but we have to have some kind of goal that we set. Yeah. Though we have to for, so we’re always reaching to please God and be a better us every day. Absolutely. I mean if, and we’re going to stumble, we’re going to meet, I mean the Bible says all have sinned and fallen short. So putting an expectation that’s too high is not good, but just realizing I’m just going to be in his presence today. I’m just gonna take some time this morning and just sit in my daddy’s lap. Yeah. You know, and I’ve, I took some time, I was doing this for the last few weeks and I was I will put like this music on, there’s some for like an hour or some two hours and five and I would just sit and it was a long time ago and I’ve had different people or you know, prophets say, you know, God wants your time, God wants your time.

Go out through time. And I’m just like, well, I don’t have time and this and that. And waking up early, Oh my God. And I run the, one of my devotionals where it said, Jesus woke up like before everybody else did just spend time with his father. So yeah. Oh, it says right here, it tells me then I can do it too. And I would just sit and I’ll just close my eyes now just imagine him and he would take me to all these different places. He never really spoke to me. He hasn’t spoken to me yet, but he would grab my hand. The first time he grabbed my hand, it was at the bottom of this mountain and it was like snow and far frost everywhere. And then we walked up. He looked at me, he just smiled. They walked up the mountain in the season changed and it was like springtime and I mean the grass was green.

Everything was just like the clouds are amazing, rich, deep, beautiful. Like, in the end, it was like this warm, you know, from the sun. But then it was like this cool reason. It wasn’t too much. It was the perfect amount of everything that gets to the top of the mountain. And he moves the clouds out of the way. And I saw the whole world and I believe that the whole world can be ours as far as being a conduit for God to work through and use. Do you know what I’m saying? Absolutely. There’s another fun one. He took me to a carnival. Oh yes, yes, yes. 

And it was this little stick, but this huge paint cotton candy. Yeah, of course, you do. And of course, God would give you what you love was everything was abundant. We’re walking around, but then the thing was, it wasn’t just he was holding my hand, but he won the prizes for everybody. Everybody had a prize. And then you’re that thing where you take the big hammer, you slim it down. He just touched it. And it just went like, Oh, we’re on the way, the huge swing thing. I don’t even know what you call it. And I remember looking at him and my hair was one of them, when his hair was born, the wind, same kind of a feeling of the warm, but the breeze and the perfect. And he just smiled at.

Tamra: That’s incredible.

Madelyn Stallings: And there were so many more. Yeah. What have you just take the time to just sit?

Tamra: Yeah. Even if it’s for 30 minutes. Absolutely. As long as you open up, he’ll show up. Yeah. And I, I truly believe that. I was in a time of really like praying over the concept of like prophetic and really, really just like craving this gifting that we have access to that literally we have access to all of the giftings. And I, you know, what helped me with the other one’s healing prophetic vision w what are you talking about, about the giftings that you can have? Like we all have access to those now. Yeah. I can’t think of what the other ones are, but those were three that I was really like, okay. I could see as tangibles and I felt like I had reached this like kind of peak and my experience with God and it was like one after another. I was just like being blown away and I’m like, okay, God, like there’s more, let me have more, what can it be?

And so praying over the prophetic and then having a prophetic experience literally the following morning at a coffee shop, which is literally what started fit in faith. And I just love this whole concept of being able to have these visions and being able to imagine with the Lord and create with the Lord. And that is what fit and faith are about for me. And what my heart is for other women is to know that they have this power within them. And that it’s not just something that is for right now, it’s what you’ve experienced since you were little and you’ve always ignored or something that you could be in your 50s or 60s or 70s. It’s not over like you’re here and intentional and God has you here for such purpose. And so one of the visions that were so funny when you said this, no, my head is like fell backward because about two weeks ago I got woken up and I morning is my like just my time.

I mean, whether I’m working out, whether I’m reading, whether it’s my time of gratitude before my feet hit the ground and it’s my prayer time with the Lord. He woke me up at like three o’clock, which is a little too early, but sitting there and I had this vision and I don’t like snow unless I’m snowboarding.  I want it to be a beach all the time, year-round. And so I was on top of a mountain and there was snow everywhere and I was skiing, which I’ve never done before. I’ve only snowboarded but I was at the top of the mountain and I just felt him saying like you reached the peak, but then the instant reminder that just because you’re going downhill doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. And I feel like so much of my life I spent going uphill, achieve, achieve, achieve.

And I talked about that last time with Naomi. This like natural achievement built into me with my Enneagram, this, my personality type. But to break that off and now feeling like, because I’ve in this space that I’m in now, I feel so much at ease and at peace with where I’m at. But it’s not over like it’s promised that there’s going to be trials. It promises there’s going to be tribulations. Some of it was just so interesting that we both had that like snow experience, cause I just woke up that day being like, okay, I’m about to go down, but there’s going to be a Boulder in the middle of where I’m going, or the tree line is going to change and I’m going to have to go this way and it’s going to be too sharp and I’m going to fall. But knowing that I’m still so excited that adrenaline rush is still there and I think God wants us to live in that space of like excitement and there’s more to him. We can always unveil more. And being eager for that.

Madelyn Stallings: It takes endurance. That’s a good word right there. It takes enduring, it takes a lot of, you know when you’re running, when you’re working out, whatever you’re doing, there has to be some kind of stamina that sustains you and keeps you because if you don’t, you want to give up. Not saying that even when you’re working out or you’re running that you don’t want to give up. Right. So, okay, I had this vision, I love it. No holidays waiting. So I was, there was a person at the, at the start line of the 400 meter, which is the fastest sprain. Yeah. So in the vision, this person, God was in them and all around them. Right. And so when the gun went off, the person took off and they were running, they were running. But the whole time that they were running, God was running with them.

So if anybody’s familiar with the 400-meter run, it is. My dad said it separates the men from the boys. I ran that, my dad ran it, my grandfather ran, our brother ran it. It is no joke. So you have to sprint full speed the whole time around the track. So at about the 200 points, you come to the second turn and that’s when you feel like the weight, almost like of the world, like the bear on your back. But the whole time in this vision, Jesus is coaching that person. He’s got this, got this, you got this. Don’t give up. Keep going. Lean in some more. Lean in some of it some more. And then when you come out of the turn, that’s when the race kind of defines you because at that moment you have the last straightaway to sprint and a lot of time, I mean your legs are like so heavy.

And I mean any sport is like a mental thing. Yeah, for sure. And so normally when you come out of that second turn, that’s when you got to shift the gears. Some people get that extra kick and they just take off and then some, they just lag in the back. But the whole time Jesus was up West, you got this, you got this, keep going, keep going. And because of his voice, that person division had that extra kick. And then you know you know, eventually he, he won the race. But that’s how it is in life. We have family situations that we go through and it’s like you need some endurance and stamina. The people you have now picked yourself. That’s so true. You need stamina and endurance in your marriage. Yes you are one. You are two different individuals.

Do you do it from backgrounds? If you do it from ways of, you know, upbringing and stuff with your kids, you need stamina and endurance because they would, they would try to drive me crazy. They will try and know when they’re little, as their personalities are developing and budding. But that’s something that we have to have. And in the talks about, it talks about like life is a race. Yeah. It talks about having the endurance to the end, you know, and pressing towards the Mark for the price of the high column. You have to press and push every day. And there are some days where it just feels like everything is just coming against you, where it feels like you’re just weighted down. But in those moments, that’s when it’s the defining moment. Yeah. You do, you stay inland. Do you say I am not going to be defeated by this thing? Yeah. And then here she says you got this, you got this. But one thing I will say is that you have to stay close to him all the time. Yeah. His word alone gives you, that push gives you that kick. It gives you the nutrients that your spiritual body needs. If you don’t eat the right food, you’ll, you’ll die of lack of nourishment. So what happens to your spirit, man? So a lot of us are eating healthy, but spiritually we’re malnourished.

Tamra: That’s literally like the whole concept of my book is like all of the analogies and we’re such a sports-driven society, fitness driven society, and yet we can’t get our, our spirit man healthy

Madelyn Stallings: And not being malnourished Christian, you can.

Tamra: You can’t. It’s what can you give, yeah, you’re on E right? You have nothing left to outport at overflow. There’s none of it. And don’t try to pull something out of a hat because

Madelyn Stallings: Is that, that you’re just doesn’t work. It just doesn’t, and then you end up hurting them.

Tamra: Yes. It’s so, so true. And they S you know, the broken people are hurt people, hurt people and people heal people. And so that is such a goal of mine to constantly be in that state of healing my own self because I’m surely not there yet. I’m, I’d like to meet the person who is, but at the same time, like I know the intention that each time we gain a new like nutrient piece of wisdom, it’s not meant for us to keep, it’s so meant for us to share. And that’s like the component of sharing our testimony and sharing how we got to this place. Like, Oh, you’re a smile. You smile all the time. How do you do it? Oh my, Jesus gives me that. That’s right. And I’ve lived a crazy life. I’ve had the chaos. I’ve had the mental hot mess, express situations so many times, time and time again.

And yet while my smile became my defense mechanism, it was also something God never took for me ever. And I almost waited for it when I felt like I was in the lowest of lows of my life. And I even prayed about it like, God just, I don’t want to have that ability anymore. But what shifted was went from, you know, this facade of happiness to this deep-rooted joy. My smiles still illuminated. I feel like the same way I’ve been told since I was little, your smile lights up a room, but instead of it being this facade that I was exuding, that was exhausting. It became this place of excitement because I had the opportunity to share why and it wasn’t fake and I could easily say I’m smiling but this is also happening. I’m smiling and this is simultaneously going on. And it’s that point of authenticity.

Madelyn Stallings: You said something and it just hit my soul because I wasn’t a hundred percent agreement. You were saying that you can’t be like, you can be too authentic. Yeah. What is that? Yeah, what is too real? I mean there is a too real, but it’s, it’s better to give the truth and be honest because I feel like in today’s society, the generation beneath us and beneath us and beneath us, they want real, they’re looking for it. It’s time out for, you know, and before us, like my mom and her mom and her mom, it was kind of a hush-hush thing. Like we won’t talk about it. 

This stays here. So true. You, and then people finding out stuff later on in the years. Like, you know, they have these DNA tests. Yeah. And this person is, Oh, this is your dad. Yeah. And then you take this test, like, wait a minute, hold on. You know, and I just feel like we have to be authentic. We have to be real. Because people want to know that they’re not the only person going through that. Yeah, absolutely. People want to know like, well how did you get out of it? How are you so happy? Yeah, I want that.

Tamra: Well, otherwise they feel like they’re in isolation cause they’re like, it becomes just like the whole concept of the highlight reel, whether you’re on social media or you’re not on social media. If you’re living your life in this facade of a highlight reel to the neighbor, to the person at work, to all of these other people, they feel completely isolated. And I remember feeling like nobody else could possibly feel this way. And when I walked into Parkway, it was the first place that I ever have been. And I’ve been to many, many churches that I saw somebody else crying that I saw a sister come up to me and say, you know, I don’t know what’s going on, but this is what’s going on with me and just know that it’s okay and, and that’s not, that’s, I hope that there are more churches like that. And if you’re not in one sequent out, so and central but it doesn’t have to be in that space. It can be in the work environment. It can be in your neighborhood. It can be when you’re driving down the road and you’re talking to your best friend on the phone, how are you doing girl? Like actually tell them, say, how are you? Yeah, go below the surface. Many, many levels below. Yeah we have to.

Madelyn Stallings: You know, it’s about a deeper relationship and I think the deeper you get in God, the less shallow you. Yeah. It’s okay. Do you know? And I don’t know, I just feel like it’s important that we go deeper with God because you can’t reach someone at a deep level if you’re not deep. Yeah. It’s so true. Do you know? And there’s, you know, and you just think about like, just social media and people show you what they want you to see. And so I remember when I was in school two years ago and I was taking this class, yeah, I think I told you about at this site. Psychology, psychological research, and ethics. Yes. Gosh. So I needed a 70 [inaudible] and I got like a 68. I was like, I pass out my pass and I posted her Instagram and then I realized that I didn’t pass. And I was like, I just posted this thing about space where we can arrest refuel. I read the name. Hope to see you there.

Tamra: Absolutely. Well, I think for me in my biggest lesson in all of my relationships was in my marriage and I think while that’s supposed to be the space that we’re supposed to be most, most authentic, I was not for even when we met and it wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t, it was subconscious covering buildup. And even in, even now when Icon when I conceptualize the marriage between, you know, God and the church and the bride and that whole concept, I didn’t get that. Even on my wedding day. I didn’t even conceptualize it then. And I so eagerly since ever since I’ve been baptized, I want to remarry my husband so bad. I want to just be dressed in white in such a way that he’s never seen me. And I feel like it’s such a sad thing that people don’t comprehend that component of femininity, of sexuality.

And then of course of spirituality. Like it’s supposed to be this grandiose, intimate experience and we being imperfect and society being grossly skewed, they take it from us. It’s such a young age. Yeah, they do. They do. And so we owe it to this, these generations below us to like strip all that away, strip all the lies and to be able to give them like peace and knowing that we all mess up. It’s okay to talk about it. Exactly. And it’s, it’s knowing that when you do talk about it, it’s going to help somebody else. Yeah.

Madelyn Stallings: One thing I’ve learned is that when you, whenever you go through something and there’s something hidden inside of you, whenever you expose that thing that’s literally you shine the light on the enemy, that means he has no other place to hide. And that’s where the freedom begins. You have to open your mouth and tell it. Yeah. And you have to, you have to, nobody wants to, what we do now in society is just bandaid, bandaid, bandaid, bandaid, bandaid. But that’s sort of like three layers deep. Yeah. And so no, Jay was saying like, people are afraid to like get to the bottom of the wound. So he loves those videos are people like in their pimples. Ah, stop it. I did too. And it’s so gnarly. He loves it. But you think about it, you have to go deep to get it all out.

It’s so true. So how many of us in our lives need to go deeper? It’s so true. I need to go back further. You should just, nobody wants to face the hurt. Nobody wants to relive the hurt. But if that momentary feeling of affliction is going to bring you eternal freedom, so getting your ears pierced that you feel that pain from the moment. Yeah. And then I think it was Paul said, but it’s about a line affliction. Yeah. Might’ve been Peter. I don’t know. I mean it’s okay, but you know what I’m saying? Like we have to just, we have to dig deep and expose the enemy because then he has no other place to hide. And that’s how true healing begins. So that you can be the best wife to your husband, that you can be the best husband to your wife did. You can be the best child to your parents.

Do you know what I’m saying? Yeah. And then in a lot of times when you expose the enemy, then people are there to say, okay, we’re going to keep an eye on you. Yeah. We’re going to make sure you’re okay. Like my son, he had shared something with me and he’ll watch something on the 700 clubs. It was a story and it hit him and he’s 12. Yeah. And he was like, he called music mom, can you pray for me because I don’t want to want this thing anymore. Wow. And so I prayed for him. We denounce renounced shut doors sitter with the blood of Jesus. All of that. Like there’s no more cracks and crevices for you to come through here. Not on my watch. Cause you gotta be a Watchman to yeah. You know, and then, then after that, then he kind of what it was almost like morning because he had, he exposed it, but then he had to leave it.

Tamra: You’re alone. And that’s so many things. It doesn’t matter what the conversation is. It could be food. I mean, it could be a cigarette. It could be, all of them are equal. And it means so much that he had the bravery, especially to tell your mom, no matter what it is like, yeah, she loves you and he knows that you’re going to be his cradle, but at the same time like she also created you. Yeah. And so he knew the disappointment level that was going to come with it, just as we do when we fall at the feet of Jesus.

Madelyn Stallings: And you know what I did? I just loved him. I didn’t express any disappointment out. I was righteously pissed. I was like, I have to taste Satan. Oh my. You know. And I just loved him. I loved on him and loving him, him and I said, listen, this is what you need to do. Getting your Bible, you can be in your app and set it to a certain time when you go to sleep, listening to the word, you know to change your timeline. Yeah. You know, and, I’m very, I’m very I’m on his Instagram because it’s on my phone, but just all these different things. And so, you know, and then a lot of times when you’re, when you let go of something, and I know this, when you let go of something, you’re weak. Yeah. But his strength is made in our weakness.

That’s how we have a testimony. That’s how we have a story. We’re at ground zero at some point in our life. And we watched the reconstruction of a building that he makes us. Yeah. And just loving on him and realizing, okay, well right now you’re kind of like in triage, so I’m going to make sure that I nurse you like I need to. But after a while, you know what a bird with the broken wing, you don’t send it out of the nest. You need some like little physical therapy. So I told him, I said, listen, you can do, if you don’t do what I tell you, you can’t expect to have any different. You can never do the same thing expecting different results. So if you’re not reading your word, if you’re not there it was so funny because he went to play basketball with his friends. 

He’s like, listen, I don’t want to listen to anything with cussing on it. So they, they put on every pray that and it was so funny. And then I heard him singing and later on it was like a joke to them. Oh, anytime the enemy comes, you were saying every prayer, every phase is to God. We have to do that. You have to do that. So true. And then as we get stronger and stronger and stronger, that thing he takes away the sting.

Tamra: Yeah.

Madelyn Stallings: He takes with the sting of the memory he takes through the sting of the pain and the hurt of the betrayal of the discharge, he’ll take it away because you know that in him it’s a safe place. Yeah. So he is the safest place to be.

Tamra: Yeah. And you said that at the beginning you said to spend time in your daddy’s lap and it was, it’s an easy thing for me to conceptualize cause that was a total daddy’s girl when I was little. But I remember in my twenties and especially when my late twenties when I came back into Parkway and really in my faith they were expressing like a father. And I feel like there’s such a difference between a daddy and a father. And while God exemplifies both and Jesus exemplifies both in our life.

I think there’s such importance to both roles that daddy, that mother that you just serve to your son to be able to just take him in your arms and just stroke his hair. But to also know that there’s that component of your father that you just, but he still loves you, right? He still sees you and he knows every fiber of your being and he knows the intention behind the goodness within you and he just wants to strip you of all of that other negativity. Yeah, he does. That is constantly in our faces. I mean music, especially for the generations below us. And I think for me even, I mean that is a magnitude of a problem. Do you know how many CDs I had to burn and throw away?

Madelyn Stallings: And it was funny cause we were listening to some soul music in the car and relisting to the words and I was like, did you hear it? You just hear that. It was in somebody as secretary and that we make the man’s life. I don’t even know who it was. Yeah, it was some soul person. But I’m like, and you just think about overtime there was this thing on Netflix. It was the nineties, right? Cause eighties made me [inaudible] but like listening to the different lyrics and how the feminine thing came, it was actually really good. A segment they had like the sixties, seventies eighties and nineties. It was really good. And it just talked about like that era. Atlantis. Maura said red hot chili peppers. When you listening to the lyrics, I’m like this, these are the seeds. These are the seeds that I planted. These are the words that I repeated over and over again. So this is why this happened. This is why I walked in. And there was a certain type of music that I listened to and I mean I listened to all kinds, but those were seeds that were planted.

Tamra: Ah, you gotta be careful of what you’re planting. And does that not literally go completely full circle to what you confess you possess? It does the exact same thing. Whether you’re groove into the beat or you are saying it because you’re exhausted. There is, is claiming a stake in your life and it, it breaks my heart. It makes me so angry. I mean, even to the point of my little guy who is in kindergarten and he’s having trouble like with words and letters and things like that and comprehending reading, it’s his first exposure to it ever. And for him who hasn’t even practiced it yet, he hasn’t even understood the concepts to say, I can’t read. 

And I’m like, buddy, yeah, yes, you can’t read. You’re, you’re just started learning letters like less than a year ago. Like it is okay. And I and Gary just sat down and we just kept saying, I walked in on Gary saying this to him and he was like, repeat after me. I am strong and Cooper. If you know Cooper, he will. Oh, strike. He is strong. I can climb. Oh, I can climb. I like to sing. I like to sing. I like to dance. Oh, I can dance. And then he’s like,

I can read. And he’s like, I can read it. He’s like, no, say it strongly. I can read. I can read. No. Say it as you mean it. I can read and I was just, I had tears in my eyes just watching it. Watching the father. The daddy just reignites what he’s already gifted within you. Right. Just like these women that I have the opportunity to satellite alongside and coach and say, what are your passions? The number of people that come to the table and say, I don’t know. Yeah, I don’t have a hobby. I don’t have a passion. I’m like, what do you mean? Yes, you do. What do you do in your spare time? What is fun? What is freeing? And they mostly have to go way back to their childhood. Yeah, and that just so sad. We’re too busy to be passionate.

We’re too busy to have a hobby. We’re too busy to be anything less than a hot mess. Yeah. The enemy is having a heyday. He is a groove into all of those jams and it is killing me. I had to cut off country music and people like country music, like the Goodall honky-tonk like that’s just great. I think Anthony was talking about honkytonks at church last week and I’m like, please don’t say that again. Thank you, Anthony, for implanting that in my brain and I mean you’ll listen to the words and it’s just, it’s so sad and country music was like everything I listened to. I went to every concert and got the mega ticket every year and now people like you want to go. And I’m like we’re going to dinner before. If I can go just to watch the performance for maybe a little bit and then I’ll bow out. You have to set such high boundaries. You do against the world. You do. Yeah.

Madelyn Stallings: There was a phrase that I saw and I, I mean I just swear by it. Givers have to set limits because takers have none.

Tamra: Ooh, that’s got you written it down

Madelyn Stallings: World. All it does is take the world, doesn’t give you anything and it will tell you that you are nothing, you know, so you have to be secure in who you are and it’s okay to grow out of something, even if you’ve always done it. Absolute growth. And the Lord will stretch you. Yeah, he will. But, and sometimes it’s uncomfortable, but if anything is worth having, you’re going to go through some kind of opposition for it readily. You know, some people, it, things just come to them easily. Other peoples have to work, other people have to work for it. And that’s, yeah. And it’s okay to let things go. Yeah. It is okay to let things go. And if it’s not allowing you to move freely and if it’s, if it’s constricting you and have a conversation with ABA father and say, you know, God, I surrender this thing to you.

Tamra: Yeah. Because whenever you lay anything at his feet, there’s always a great exchange. There’s always a great exchange and surrender. Surrender is the key. We live in a world where psych, you know, being vulnerable is not smart. Being surrendered is not smart. Like, you know, you got to be tough and this and that and it’s all facades. But the thing is God doesn’t look at the outward, he looks on the inside. So what does your heart look like? Yeah. I don’t care how well put together your makeup is. I don’t care how, how many pairs of shoes you have, I don’t care what designer you’re wearing home cares you can’t take. 

None of that’s the gray with you. So true. It doesn’t matter how much you pay for your highlights as a matter of how much money’s in your bank account. Yeah. What kind of extensions you have, how much your lashes cost, how much bedazzled your nails are. It doesn’t matter. None of that matters. What he looks at is on the inside. Yeah. I remember a long time ago he showed me this Apple and it was beautiful, shiny, just so beautiful. And then I saw the core, which was rotting. And you sit there as a lot of people like this. So how, what do we do too, to make sure that our core is healthy?

Yeah. That’s like my heart. That literally is my call. I feel it like in my bones when I hear it is that whole mind, body, soul component of health. And we have the availability to get there. We do. And it is through surrender. It is saying, God, I can’t do it by myself and my spouse can’t do it for me. My kids aren’t going to fix it. My mama ain’t going to do it either. She’s tried already. Cause that’s what a small was like to do. We want to fix it for them. And those bandaids don’t fix anything. There will always be this scar and God has the ability, like literally not, not remove it because it’s a part of our Testament, but to heal it to a place that, you know, Anthony and pastor Anthony said the component of, I think it’s Japanese, it could be Chinese pottery.

And it’s where, you know, the vase has completely shattered and instead of it being tossed to the side, as America often does, anything that’s broken, old dented, it’s done. You get a brand new shiny one, just like the Apple, they take the gold, that gold, silver lining, it’s glue and it’s, it’s not gold though. It probably was for the upper echelons of society. And they mend it back together. And so God has the ability to take these broken pieces of our lives and he’s going to make those scars so radiant, so beautiful that it doesn’t matter what anybody else sees, because when he looks at you, it’s magnificent and it’s exactly what it was intended to be all along. Because you’re back in that place of wholeness. And that’s how he wants all of his sons and daughters. Yes he wants us to go to bed whole. He wants us to wake up the whole. He wants us to live day by day hall. And it’s not easy. And it’s not even really possible on this side of heaven. Right. But we can surely try. And it’s a choice. Yes. Because there are some people that they want the attention of the pain. That’s true too.

Madelyn Stallings: They won’t, you know, someone to come and coddle them. And not that we shouldn’t, but there comes a day where it’s like, when do you, when do you get up? You don’t stay in physical therapy forever. Nope. The birdie gets dry. Right? You go to get stronger and then you’re released because you know what, you’ve met the goal here. And so we have to everything. Everything is a choice. Yeah. We have to choose love. Yeah. We have to choose forgiveness. We have to choose to let go. We have to choose. I want more.

Tamra: It’s a choice. He gives us free will. Yeah.

Madelyn Stallings: And that is doesn’t, people always are confused by, and I’m like because he loves you. He didn’t make robots. He could have, he could, he could deal with everything. I’m looking at the world, you know, but even in the world, there’s variety. So why would he make us all the same? Yeah. We have a choice to be who he’s called us to be or be what we want to be. And there was, there was a time where I struggle with, I want it my way that way. Didn’t really go well at all, you know? And then, and then we put our, we put ourselves in these places where we just keep hitting a wall, hitting a wall. And then when you realize and you surrender and you say, when you say, I can’t keep living like this, there has to be something more. And stop trying to do it yourself.

Stop trying to fix it yourself strapped. Stop trying to make it what you want it to be and allow him to reshape and reform. Get all the dents out. You were on the way to glory. Yeah. Yes, yes. On the right. And I say this, everything that Jesus has for us that a red carpet rolled out. Yeah. Yeah. We all have a red carpet experience. We can walk in our finest, finest attire. I’m talking about not naturally, but spiritually. Like whatever you choose. I would work this, this and this, this and this. You can put it on. He’s at the other end just waiting and just like what his arms out, why we can all have our red carpet experience. We just have to choose him.

Tamra: So good. And that’s like, that just brings me back to the bridal experience. Like it’s, it’s the same and God gives us the earthly example of our bride and groom as a piece of what goodness and greatness it is to be with him in that same capacity. So you know, standing at the end of the aisle in all white or standing at the end of the red carpet in all glitz and glam, it should be the same experience.  And so I just like want to seal that over women. I want over girls over the little ones dreaming of one day being a bride. Because I remember having that experience and my wedding day was very stormy and rainy, so it didn’t go according to plan. And the front of the building actually got struck by lightning while we were on the beach a hundred yards away with 300 umbrellas. So I have some naysayers who think that there was the intention behind that day and that God was trying to tell us something and I believe God was trying to tell us something and it was the enemy trying to prevent it from happening and us saying, oh, we’re getting married on the beach. That’s where we were mentally.

Madelyn Stallings: He will try really hard, so hard. He will try ridiculously hard to because it’s because this is what it is. It’s a covenant. Yeah. God is about covenant. Yeah. The enemy hates it. Yeah, because covenant means togetherness. Covenant means unity and marriage is not just people. Marriage is not just a piece of paper. Yeah. It is a covenant that God honors and I know all about the whole, you know, just adversity it here. Diversity, diversity, adversity at the beginning of our marriage because he knows when two or more get together that God is in the minutes so we can just keep people separate and separated and divided and just with division and all this kind of stuff. Then I mean he thinks he’s one. 

We can choose to say no. Yeah, I’m going to be joined with my sister. I’m going to be joined by my husband. Yeah. I’m going to let everything else. I don’t care if rained lightning. I mean that’s just, Hey, God is all about our marriage cause he’s talking. Yes, it’s so true. Yeah. I believe that those dreams, that road once we jumped about, even though today is different, it can still be a dream for women now.

Tamra: I agree. It is okay to still drink. Yeah. I love that. It is okay. I love it. I think those dreams, that’s what you’re doing with God in those wee hours of the morning when you’re sitting having these visions of the carnival or the ski slope. It’s, it’s him dreaming with you. Yeah. And so many people. What’s the saying? Like, get your head out of the clouds. God, that’s exactly where he wants your head. Not in this place. All this

Madelyn Stallings: Carbon global warming. He doesn’t want us in there

Tamra: Like that’s not, that was never his intent, to begin with. So I’m just so grateful to you. I love you. I hope that people listening today got a little taste of Madeline, of the sweetness that has just been implanted in your soul that you abundantly and freely give to other people. Amen. And I’m grateful for your marriage. She celebrated 14 years yesterday. Years yesterday. Amazing.

Madelyn Stallings: Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. We owe the podcast to Joseph Stallings. Jay, thank you.

Tamra: It’s a blessing to celebrate 14. Yeah, it is a blessing. I’m not gonna I’m not gonna. I’m not, but it’s beautiful, I know, I know. And it’s, it’s been a beautiful, yeah, beautiful ride and it will continue to be and there I have it hanging in my house. Something about, I don’t have it exactly memorized, which is very bizarre, but it’s my favorite love story. And there are a thousand love stories we could go off of. We could dream up and it’s not the one that we probably dreamed up when we were six or seven and playing home or house with [inaudible]. But it’s so much sweeter in the place that you’re at now. Oh, man. Then the place you would have ever been, even if you decided at that moment that this was my husband. Like the trials and tribulations have created so much wisdom, so much togetherness, so much goodness and so much testimony for your children to forever live and walk into. Yeah, and it was a choice. There you go. There were a bunch of choices. There were a bunch of bad ones and there were a bunch of good ones. When I’ve really truly surrendered my will and whatever I thought wanted,

Madelyn Stallings: God always has something better for you. I saw this it was a post one time. It was a little girl. Some of you may have seen it and she has his Teddy brush. She loves it and she’s holding it. She’s like, what I wanted and Jesus is on his knee and he has this huge ginormous Teddy bear. Do you know what I’m saying? And so sometimes we think we want something else, but God has something so much more for us. We just have to trust him. We have to trust the one that knows the number of hairs on our head. We have to trust the one that was there with us. We were in the darkness being formed and needed our mother’s room. We have to trust the one that allowed us to be that one in a million or whatever the sperm count to be.

The one to be here on earth. We have to trust him. Because he’s the one that called us here for a special purpose. Special assignment. Get out of our own way. Get out of her own way. Get out of our heads. And I, you know, just focus on him. And we could have a thousand podcasts cause I was just thinking about my world and crash the chatterbox. And that’s another podcast. Mine was the thing that, that mine world was the thing that set me on the path to where I am today. So tune in to Ron Carpenter’s mine world. There are seven of them.

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