It may be time to let go, even when all you want to do is hold on.
We don’t often take the pause in life that we need; even when all of the signs are pointing to burn out or break down. But sometimes, the pause is needed even during a time of celebration and goodness. Simply to relish in gratitude and peace.
People perceive pause as a problem, when they should see it as a purpose.
We often create what is Man-made – but what about when something is God made? It’s miraculous. It’s undeniably unique. It’s breath taking. It’s foundational and transformational. But without listening, waiting, pausing, we will miss it at the pace we are going. Constantly hustling.
If we respond, act or deliver out of hustle vs heart we create a “me-centric” mission instead of a God-centered calling. If we are constantly desperate for what man has, we will lose sight of the greater love, access and peace that God has.
Today’s episode with Yasmina Prosser felt like a purpose God pause. A time to reflect and restore. Her mission and heart for women is in identity, authority and freedom. Her testimony is interwoven with each piece, in only a way that God could use for beauty.
Don’t settle for your what is good, settle for what is God. Seek Him and wait to move. Your pause may unveil your purpose.
Connect with her here:
Show Notes: Learning to Let Go So You Can Hold On
0:00:00 S1: We don’t often take the pause in life that we need, even when all of the signs are pointing to burn out or break down, but sometimes the pause is needed, even taking a time of celebration is simply to relish in gratitude and peace. People perceive pauses as a problem and they should see it as a purpose, we often create what is man-made, but what about when something has got… It’s miraculous, it’s undeniable and breath ticket. It’s foundational and transformation. But without listening, Waitangi, gonna visit at the piece we are going… We are constantly Husain, we respond, act or deliver out of hustle versus heart. We create a mesenteric mission instead of a God-enter call. We are constantly desperate for what man has site of the greater club access piece that God house today’s episode with he as a minority felt like a purpose, God all the time to reflect a restore, permission and heart for women in identity, the Word and freedom are a part of her testimony, they are interwoven to each piece and only a way that God can pose for beauty, don’t settle for what is good, settle for what is coming.
0:01:26 S1: Seanad, wait to move. Your pause, Man, failure purpose. Enjoy today’s episode. I shared it. We are all in pursuit of something more, wherever, whatever, or whoever your more is, I wanna help you get there, Holly, fully, authentically and truly fit. The fit mats movement was birth through my own trial and error, discovery of mind, body and soul alignment, I learned first hand that being fit isn’t about our physique at all, it’s about the wholeness of our heart and the root of our joy… This isn’t a fitness podcast, this isn’t a quick fix health detox ploy, this isn’t confusing religious banter, this is a whole body health check-up, focusing on the heart, this is an opportunity to join me alongside other big dreamers, innovative movers and lifestyle shapes, as we explore and share our messy contact service homes. If you’re one step away achieving your idea of something more, tune in for practical fund in healthy ways to ignite yourself into even more, welcome to the fit and faith podcast with me, caring there is no better time than now to get this… That are finally doing this, we’ve been talking to… Actually, we’ve been talking about the podcast way before he ever even was on, so it’s really cool to have you along life’s journey with me, but I’m really grateful for this dedicated time, it sees in the season that we’ve kinda traveled through over the course of the last couple of years, but we’ve really got to see each other at our highest and our lives, so true.
0:03:10 S1: And so even just kind of praying over what I wanted today to be like, I’m like, I don’t even need to think about it, gotta ’cause… He’s had it this whole time. But the one thing that always I think about when I think of you in a multitude of different ways, and we’ll probably talk to all of them, is the first time that I met you, I was celestino… What did
0:03:34 S2: I say as I got invited, and I don’t even know specifically how it might have been through… Sure, but I don’t think so.
0:03:41 S1: To the she laughs gathering, and it was totally out of my network, it was out of my city, it was out of my comfort zone, but I knew that it was just something that I was drawn to. And so the whole verse of Proverbs 31-25, she last without fear of the future, clothes and dignity and strength, and she last about fear of the future, and just that kind of has been like the blanket, if TR that I’ve always seen you here, and it’s not just because that’s what your heart, but what your business was or is, as you’re talking about, but you really have lived that out, and so even in the stages of motherhood, even in not knowing what that’s gonna do for your marriage and for your life, and when it comes to jobs or projects or passions, you have really just stepped into each area, so… Gracefully.
0:04:37 S2: Thank you for me. An example to me… Gosh, I sister. That’s not bigger. To thing. So thank you for that. It’s amazing how people, even younger than you can bring such wisdom to the table, so thank you for that. Thank you. If you’re saying all of that, I’m a words of affirmation. So persistent tank in my limiting, your beloved
0:05:04 S1: Man, so are so many places that we could jump into, but I would love for you… By the way, this is… Yes, men. A Proctor, dear friend. Just daughter of the King, I think. And I try not to like title people right off the gate because I want you to recognize who they are before I tell you what their roles or job titles or anything like that is, so just kinda share who you are a bit of where you’ve come from, and kind of your life like right now, and that’s a lot, so you can start here and go backwards, or
0:05:36 S2: Who am I… Where did I come from? But where am I? Let’s see here. It’s 30 years worth… No. Okay, so my name is Yasmin across or I am 30, going on 31. The 30s are treating me really well, that part, but I was ready to welcome a new decade, especially 20s were pretty difficult and the curbing, growing, stretching time in life, and I was just looking forward to starting a new decade on a new foundation, because the 20s are based off of your teenagers, so it’s kind of… It’s an interesting place to be, for sure. So I am loving my 30s. I am, I guess, ethnicity-wise. Where my name comes from, and if you see me right now, where my dark hair comes from… My dad is actually from Egypt, from Cairo, and my mom is from New Jersey. So there you have it. So I’m half Egyptian, half Arabic, and half Caucasian, half white. And I love that little unique spin on my life growing up, I actually didn’t appreciate being unique, which a lot of us in middle school, we struggled with that, my name was… He has men. It was different, I looked different.
0:06:58 S2: I windows the point where almost… This is not a joke. I changed my name legally, had a serious conversation with my parents about changing my name to reach or Norwich, and I wanna blend… I almost changed my name to read…
0:07:18 S1: Oh my God. And Rachel’s a beautiful name.
0:07:23 S2: I… Attention could be a regional, my go-to say I’m… So they know argument was all… They were actually kind of open to it, which is kind of also a little weird, but I’m also someone who has really good ideas, especially then I would have these ideas, but it would never really fall through with it. Now, I’m working on that process. Is the very even and me was showing in my middle school year, so enneagram sevens and Enneagram that I out there. High five. What’s your name? What’s the Integra? Seventh enthusiast is a Yatala. So I grew up in Wheeling, West Virginia. So random till I was 10, lived in Michigan for two years. I’ve been in Virginia since 2000, so for genes like home, I’ve been here for almost 20 years, lived in Virginia Beach now for about 10 or 11 of those years. I grew up in New York town. But yeah, so I met the Lord at 18 years old, going on 19 in my bedroom through reading the word of God, I was not brought up in a church. I didn’t really have any influences except for I was desperate and I was always open to God, and I actually had a professor at my community college, please after class one day and basically say he was compelled to let me know that he has been…
0:08:47 S2: That I had been on his heart all semester, and that God wanted me to know that he loved me and pointed me to start reading the Gospel of John. And so for a couple of weeks, I started reading The Gospel of John every night and literally started to feel this alive and active word literally changed me and literally shift my heart and my quality… Yeah, my quality of thinking in life… And I didn’t even really understand what I was reading for ASI. Have no back suit. Grow up going to bible school. And so for me, just like a basic biblical concepts were like boring, right, right. So abstract. Yeah, so like John, which is still my favorite gospel, was the Gospel that really started changing my life, and After probably three weeks of reading the Word, I felt the Holy Spirit at the time, which I did know his ally spirit, invite me into relationship, and I said this Prayer that I was from this book that I was reading that had a part salvation, and the next morning I woke up, I fell asleep right after that, and the next morning I woke up and I literally felt like a new person, a new creation, a literally was beating to a different rhythm, I couldn’t breathe, I was like…
0:10:07 S2: I couldn’t catch my breath and I knew it was God. I felt like there was light beaming out of my body, and so it was my first supernatural natural experience with the Lord, and really the year, that whole year after that was just an incredible mirror… Miraculous encounters like that. We learn a lot of supernatural miraculous encounters like that, and so now 11 years later, I… Within the last 11 years, I have worked in… I went to a Bible school, I worked in ministry for five years as an assistant in working with women’s ministry, and then I went and worked in the business world a little bit with some marketing stuff and had started this project within the midst of all of that called the She last project, which was based off of Proverbs 31-25, and that is how we got taped, that’s how I’ve actually been connected to a lot of incredible people in the Canton Road. It really the she last project and social media, the beauty of social media and Instagram specifically, it has this incredible ability to connect you with people that you would never be connected with and build friendships based upon just meeting on Instagram or social media or Facebook.
0:11:31 S2: And she last project really opened my world to just really beautiful friendships and Hampton Roads, and I say handrails ’cause it’s not just Virginia beach, people from trust… Pierpont news, your town, and so… Yeah, and then I had a baby almost exactly a year ago, so then this whole year has been this massive transition, I had a baby, and then a month later I turned 30 and then my body is all different and everything is happening, I’m not sleeping, so it’s been a really beautiful journey and here, and specifically the last three to four years has probably been some of the most monumental years of my life, so it’s
0:12:16 S1: Really amazing ’cause I kinda did the same thing from my 20s to my 30s, and it was like this… I had an eagerness, like such an eagerness to go to be 30, and it was different ’cause I remember my mom always saying It petrified her because she had three babies by that time, and she was just kind of like… I still probably in the confusion of Who am I because she was so founded by these three babies, and I had my two kiddos, but I also had encountered the Lord when I was 29, and so to jump into my 30s and that concept of foundation is so amazing. And so I’ve had this prayer full-time, for the last one is gonna be 33 in October, and it has been literally… That’s just his life, right? That’s when he was active in his ministry from the time he was 30 to 33, and so I’ve had this massive prayer over my life that God used me during the time that you understand and Jesus. Meet me in those places. And of course, I hope I live long after 33, Suwanee, His will be done. But at the same time, I’ve just been so eager and throwing myself into the word as much as I can, and really in relationship, because I really feel like that’s where God sent it.
0:13:37 S1: That’s where he spent his time. And though he took his sabbaticals, if you will, in his peripheral seasons, you’ve also done that, and so I’d love for you to share how you got put onto this momentous momentum of a path or she last… You were in it full swing for two years, right. And then like screeching hole, and I am… It makes me cringe ’cause I was like there being like, No, this is such a gonorrhea, I did. But at the very same time, I’ve seen the other side of what this last year has provided for you for Zara, which is your daughter and for a team, and had you not done what you’ve done, I imagine what chaos probably would have been Senate.
0:14:29 S2: Absolutely, in the midst of hormonal ionic, it’s like, I don’t need to add in more chaos, this situation, so
0:14:38 S1: I Gods come at you one night in prayer, was it just where things falling apart.
0:14:46 S2: So yeah, it was a really kind of progression, I would say, with the Lord, and there are so many things that are wrapped up into it, but the progression of designing that it was okay to just put a pause, impressed the Poston on she laughs was a really beautiful progression in the scent and a kind of progression from the Lord in the sense that he knew where I was at in a lot of waves, which was still clenching, this so little clenched and some fear, some… Some desires and will, and within all of my humanity, the kindness of the Lord was just so wonderful that I can now look back and watch and just him kind of starting to just shift my heart a little bit, my thinking a little bit. And honestly, there were some situations that started to take place that were just so discouraging and really frustrating and we’re causing a lot of financial burdens and issues and stress, I was in the hospital, had are… And I was in the hospital and I was dealing with issues with this company that was our provider for our clothing line, and I’m just sitting there, I’m thinking, I shouldn’t have to be doing this.
0:16:19 S2: I just birthed my first child into the world, and I am sitting in this hospital bed… Wow, emailing, calling, texting, trying to figure out what’s going on with this. And the journey, like those first couple of weeks after having a baby are really wild because you’re literally AWAKE on a 24-hour period, you’re not sleeping for eight, 20, 10 or… No, you were awake for a 24-hour period, you’re sleeping every hour and a half Armenian, just remember a month into it, just thinking, this isn’t where I’m supposed to be right now. You know, and I just felt like the Lord was like, This is a really special moment, and it’s okay to pause for this, and so I felt this release as I chose to trust God in the midst of that, I felt this release deposit and really just be present to my daughter and the present to my family, my husband and myself, which again, Enneagram language and lingo as a seven, the enthusiast, we have a tendency, and I’ve always seen this tendency in my life to be going and doing and stimulation and not being engaged, but I wanna have all these experiences and doing all these things, but not really being engaged with them, well, the Lord had been teaching me over a couple of those, a couple of years leading to Azariah, and still after now, I’m just letting to be present and I just knew that that’s what I needed to do, was I place myself in a situation in which I could be present and give my full self because it was causing anxiety and my current new season was already anxiety provoking, and I just didn’t wanna give that to my daughter ’cause they can feel that.
0:18:15 S2: Yeah, and I didn’t want that to be something I’m passing on to her in the first couple of months of her life, so… Yeah, but if I’m being honest, when I look back to… So for those of you don’t know about the she last project, we had this booming Instagram, we started a clothing line, which was an avenue for just bringing in some sort of income and supplying, we wanted to do gatherings and eventually conferences and all these things. So we needed income to be able to provide for those things, and so it became something, if I’m honest, it ended up becoming something that I don’t think it was in the right season for, and that’s because I got in the way, that’s because my will, my vision I’m a visionary, sure. Which is a God-given gift, but it needs to be aligned with the Lord and aligned with the Holy Spirit, and just really seeking Him in my vision and my divisions that I have. And what I was doing was, Oh, here’s an idea. This is really good. Let’s do it now. So I wasn’t really creating a lot, I wasn’t doing things from a place of seeking, I was doing things from a place of doing…
0:19:40 S2: And so when I look back to those first two years, if she lasts, I see a lot of me in it, there was a lot of God, and there were a lot of really beautiful moments, like I said, the relationships that came out at that time… I’m still really great friends with so many people from that, and that was a real gift to me, and I do feel like it was a gift to me in that season, but if I’m being honest, and I look back at those first two years, I just see a lot of me, and I don’t want to leave something or build something or be a part of something where I just see a lot of me and not a lot of God, and so this time has allowed me to process… And allow you to see where I got in the way. And I’m just learning from it right now, I’m processing it and digesting it and learning from it right now.
0:20:30 S1: It’s really cool because I feel like when I had my time of pause, which was in around that 29th year, I had a two-year-old and a one-year-old at the time. And so I think the babies make such a huge component of that, at least for women, because you are… You’re just kind of in disarray of hold on what’s happening, but at the very same time, wanting to relish in the fact that you have created these little human beings that are gonna be every facet of who you are, but the relationships too that have grown in those seasons have been fundamentally like the why behind what I felt and how I felt God proposed to me, the vision over my life, the calling over my life, and it was so much less about my 20s when it was surrounded by, what can Tamara do to make this happen, and we are gifted individuals, as everybody has their strengths and their talents, and we can make it happen because society teaches us how to do it, you can Google it any time of day, and you can long at your day as long as you want, and you can work non-stop, but God…
0:21:36 S1: And I’ve said this before you, when He gives you grace for your space, things align in such a way that no man could do, and so I feel like as you transition and whatever that looks like, whether it’s five years from now, whether she laugh stays in the infancy of what it was, and it’s just a founding like Rock of where you one day go, which I don’t know that that’s the case, but that’s my… That’s my vision. Over Omaha, I see that you’re gonna be able to use all these relationships that have created consistency and have poured into you in the time that you still needed to be poured into, and allow him to shift it away from just a men and she isn’t just… Yes, me not… She is women that women in power, and you did create such a community of women, and so while I’m just gonna affirm you in the sense that I never felt like it was a yes man, a show weaning, but I do know and I can extend it even from when I do things for it and faith, it’s like it’s your face and it’s your voice, and so that’s one of the reasons I love the podcast so much is because I’m not me without all of you, right.
0:22:54 S1: And I know that God puts us in connection and relationship with such purpose, and that it’s not a mansion, Jesus had his disciples, You have to have the people that are surrounded you to help and to lift you up in the time that you need, but then the joy that comes from being able to also lift to others, it teaches essence of self-worth. I think so many people are missing. ’cause that was one thing that I wanna talk about is like how through this time you’ve kind of uncovered and identified, ’cause I know self-identity is such a space of passion for you, how did that kind of transform during those seasons and now is a place that you now constantly share for people, I mean, we have Hot and Holy now that as a space that we get to also connect in, which they’re incredible women, I’m looking forward to having me on Mike Seaver, but to see even when you get up and speak there and then you have your church and other spaces that you’re still sharing the voice of God or Shell, sharing what God’s teaching you that then can affect in the community in such a positive way.
0:24:10 S1: You always say, It’s time to rise up. And I think there’s so much connectivity in the fact that rising as people, we can make it an action, we can make it again, back to doing… Can we have to rise up to? It’s an active work. But where’s the seeking? Exactly, in
0:24:32 S2: That it… Right, exactly. It has to come from a place of response, from the foundation of seeking that… Right, and that’s when I say I saw a lot of me during that time was my decisions and the actions that we took and she laughs were not coming from a place of response, it was coming from a… This is an idea and it’s good. It must be God. Let’s go as opposed to, I have this idea. It’s good. God, what are you saying about this idea? Is this you… Are you saying now, is this for future? I didn’t even consider, I’m like, This is not… This meadow, he must be now. And so that’s what I mean in the sense of too… And I think back to, when I say, I feel like I got in the way, and there was a lot of me there, it was because it was a lot of my will. My ways of doing things that the place I was at maturity-wise and growth-wise, and it was my actions based upon my thinking and at the time I thought I’m doing the right thing, I really thought, Yeah, I’m a oatmeal, Doyle.
0:25:51 S2: This must be God in history, right? Right, so this is good, right? What the holy Paris show me, what God the father show me is that he… Not all things that are good or God. And it’s our responsibility to seek, and that the father desires us to see CEM, when you think about… Like I even think about Jesus in the Gospels, He went to a quiet place often from his disciples and he sought the Lord, he sought his father, and if Jesus had to do that, how much more… How much we do we at and not just our quiet times, but in the decisions in business decisions, in creative passion, decisions in relationships, like how much are we really seeking the Lord? That’s how we keep him first, and we said, keep God first. Well, how are we keeping him first, what does that practically look like it… It is in the seeking, it’s asking him the questions and he will answer. And so I’m learning, what the Lord has been showing me is that we do, ’cause there’s a whole thing about like… There’s this whole thing out there of like… There’s the just B and the rest.
0:27:08 S2: Right.
0:27:09 S1: Which I love, yet learned
0:27:11 S2: Yet, and then there’s the hustle and we go and like, Hey, faith requires action, right. So there’s these two opposites, but for me, I’ve been like, Okay, so God has really shown me… I did the doing… I get the outline. You remember my first message to a castle hard… I gotta do is go.
0:27:32 S1: Oh my God, I love… You know what I otherwise hears about to come out of your mouth, right after this, I know I was gonna have so much wisdom
0:27:41 S2: Because you grow
0:27:42 S1: So much, but it wasn’t negative, it wasn’t… Again, it wasn’t ungodly. It’s just what… How can you then apply it to both sides, because without one, you can’t have the other… Right. And God needs both.
0:27:58 S2: He did both. Right, exactly. So what is that, right? So where do we meet in the middle and… Because I’ve had a lot of the conversations with different friends where it’s like, Okay, how… It’s like you just got arrest in the board, and then yet some people are involved in things where it weirs action that it’s like this website isn’t going to make it so… You know what I mean? Yeah, so where do we find that healthy place, that middle ground, and I really felt the Lord showed me that it is in response to prayer we do to avoid striving and performance, we do it from our place of response from the seeking… From the Lord speaking, from bringing things to him. That is how we avoid performance and striving, is that we’re doing things in response and Athol, which your community is gonna learn a little, probably a little bit more about holding in a few weeks, at… And holy is such a great example of doing in response of the Lord speaking it, and so, because I see them, I’m watching them on a behind the seas level, and they hold hot Holy, 100% wide open, hands are wide of it, they’re not clenching, they’re not holding on to this thing.
0:29:25 S2: And so they wait for the Lord to speak and they don’t move or make a decision, ether it… They have taught me so much, and so I had to come to a place with she laughs, and I think that whoever is listening that is either got something on their heart or just in life and can relate to this, but when I put… She laughs on pause the months following that, a lot of shame started creeping… Absolutely. And the sense of failure. I just was like, Man, I would think about things and I would just be filled with regret, and I wouldn’t even talk to God about it because I was like, I don’t even… ’cause again, the seven to me was like, I don’t wanna deal with that pain, I’m just gonna avoid it. By like, I’m good. But I said to God, I said, Lord, when you want me to talk to you about it, when you’re ready for me to talk about it and us to talk it out, you let me know. Yeah, and why I said that was because I had a tendency to have a tendency to touch on things or focus on things and get really behind something before it’s actually the right time.
0:30:39 S2: Yeah, and so I said, God, when you want us to talk it out… Yeah, you let me know. Yeah, and two months later, or maybe in even a month and a half later, someone came up to me and said, I don’t know what it is between you and God, but he is saying the time is now, Oh, it’s not… And it was like the exact words… And I was like, Okay, but I was still in denial. I was like, Oh, is that really you? Go and do
0:31:03 S1: It. Now we ask for something and they were like, Maybe not notes that it has a cold on, and knowing that things are so blended now that just like you said, good things aren’t always God things, right. That’s a hard decipher right there. And I hear
0:31:21 S2: That God can reveal. But we get to see it. Yeah, and so a couple of days later, I was like, God was at you, and then we just started this beautiful conversation, which I was like, Yeah, it is, I want you to release your shame… I didn’t get that to you, I am proud of you. This was all part of the process. I’m doing something in this and just walked through a conversation with God in which he released the shame, he took the shame, he asked me to repent of some things that I did bring in that I allowed to infiltrate that time. And then he was like, Okay, now give it to me, consecrated to me, and I never heard… I’ve never heard him be consecrate this, I was like, Wow, this is like a whole… Motto Know what I mean? Like, this is a moment. And so I consecrated to Him, and what that looks like was my hands open, I had for so long, had I clenched tightly because I was like, Man, this is like… But this is what I thought you wanted, and this must be in… And I would… There was so much fear and just keeping my hands open with it, and so I released a dam and I’m like, Word, whatever you want this to be, when everyone is to be how everyone is to…
0:32:35 S2: Whatever name, approach, whatever. It’s all yours, like I give this to you, I hold this. I now know what it feels like to go before you, and I don’t wanna do that anymore, it’s actually terrible, it’s actually a satisfying experience in my life, and I want to do this in step with you, in union with you, and so my hands are open and so what that has now shifted to was, now I hear the Lord asking me to do is to just be in prayer, intentionally praying for the women in the world, the women in my world and… Yeah, and really what we’re praying for specifically what we stand for, what I truly, honestly feel is my call Amanda, on my life, and so I think she last or whatever it will become, we’ll still have the same mission, is helping women discover and empowering, really them to discover their identity. Authority and freedom in Christ. And so when we mean this other girl, it’s on my team, when we get together and pray, we’re praying for just back for the women in our world and the women in the world to discover their identity. To discover their authority, step into their authority, step into all that the Holy Spirit has available to us, and they would step into freedom, that they would release the lives, but they have been believing that they would break free of bondage, and so what’s been so cool about that as we’ve been starting that we’re seeing that happen, like women in our immediate world are walking through inner healing, are discovering their identity, I’ve had really close friends get back to as in holy spirit and the world are just on fire, and so that’s what we’re doing.
0:34:32 S2: And as much as the creator and near the visionary me wants to be like, Okay, so what did you look like next or… I’m really, really good with where it’s at.
0:34:45 S1: Are you ready for the women’s wellness weekend? A time for us to come together to align our mind, body and soul to detox, design and develop ourselves from the inside out, your road to life changing health and wellness begins during the potion side. Tonight, the D experience, we use our natural surroundings to rebalance and re-connect with our true self, it’s time for us to come together in a space where we can rest, refuel. Erivan, hope to see you there. It’s not that he is responding, which is absolutely heart… That’s the heart behind it. Here I am seeking what’s your response, and it might not be necessarily an action move for you other than keep doing what you’re doing, and prayer as we experience right before we turn the camera on is such a place of rest, but it’s also an action. And so I think when you’re talking about the hustle and the heart, where does that blend? That’s exactly where it led. And that God calls us to that constantly, to be in that space of rest before him, even if you’re in the process of doing something. Right, so my day in time, and I’m sure many mothers can really…
0:36:09 S1: When you have two toddlers, it’s busy, you’re constantly on the move, you’re constantly doing often for others, and that’s okay, but where in that is that time of a prayerful consideration about your response, about your action… About the things coming out of your mouth. And that’s so on the fly that I have to be in constant state of prayer from the TE I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, and that looks very different than it did when I was in this season in my kiddos were wanted to… And I was a full stay-at-home mom woman, they were away at school and I’m not doing… I wasn’t working anymore, I didn’t have a job per se. And I was in this I place.
0:36:55 S2: I missed that. Right there is a hostile… The shower is my client place, it’s the only quiet place.
0:37:02 S1: And when you get edited that all well, and I still get that. Mommy, are you in there? Not the comers running. John bacon, no one’s here. And so there’s still the little fingers under the door, Can I come in now, you’re so finding this phase within that wild of How can I make this time restful, how can I make this time fearful and just being really present in those spaces… And I say that and I’m completely convicted at the very same time that I miss it, I miss it often, and when things are moving a million miles a minute and you have no choice but to miss it… And that’s where God gives us grace, and that’s where God can’t remove the shame of you. I said the other day to my husband, I’m like, I really think I’m a bad mom. I feel like the tattoo you stop, I read that a lot now, and that I know in my heart a part that I’m not because I have a heart for my children, and they perceived so many things in my life. But it was one of those days when I’m like, I couldn’t figure him out, I couldn’t do enough for her, and I was exhausted and just in a space of like, I can’t do it, I raise my hands up, but at the very same time, that’s where I have to give it over to God.
0:38:26 S1: Just like I clench on to motherhood, we clinch on to our ministries, we clinch on to the things, God also wants us to open up our hands to the natural as and not just it be over the supernatural spaces that were like… Yes, absolutely. I just love that visual because it means a lot to me and so much that I’ve gone through in my life, and I wanted to kinda go back when you were talking before, ’cause I think it’s easy for us, especially when we’re around it all the time, to be able to comprehend what a God response is, but I think a lot of people, especially if they’re new on their spiritual journey, are just questioning what that looks like, how does she hear from God… Yeah, it’s here in response, I would love… What are your tangible for for people? I
0:39:15 S2: Love giving tangible. Thanks you for asking a this question. I love doing practical steps because that’s how I’ve discovered it, is that’s what we need to give you another. Yes, so I would say the greatest thing, greatest first step you can do to start practicing and hearing a Holy Spirit, hearing the voice of God in your life, get a journal. One that you love to write in on, everyone has their different particulars on the buy-in, you have that to get that kind of journal that just makes you happy when you open up that behind and you’re like, Yes, I can fit my hand here and it’s contestant know, there’s something about where defined is that just makes our brains and experience the dream at least. So get a journal and in your quiet time. So some time apart, to start a conversation with the Lord Isadora, it is easier for me to engage and process what I’m hearing when I’m writing it, so… Some great questions you can start asking the Lord is first and foremost, God, what do you want to say to me today? Another great question Is, God, how do you see me today? I think that those are some really great starters, and then another question, if you wanna go to an extra level is, I think as you practice this a little bit more, is God…
0:40:55 S2: What lies am I believing today? And the best way to respond to those questions is when you ask that question, you just start writing down literally anything and everything you were hearing. So for me, sometimes I’ll just hear it and I’m like, Okay, he’s not gonna give you anything else. Unduly write down I and I just write down eye and then it just starts coming, or even if I think that something I’m hearing is a little different or odd or we… Or random, I’m just writing it down. Anything and everything down. What I’m hearing in response when I ask that question, I’m writing it down and then I’ll read back. And what often you should find when you are asking the Lord these questions, it should be full of affirmation, full of words of life and truth and things that are lining up with the Bible. But the thing that I love about God, who is our Father, is that he wants to affirm us, He wants to fill us up with His words, that’s where the identity piece comes in, is that so often we’re like words of affirmation. Number one, love language for me, so that is something I really notice in relationships, and at one point, it would be either the words or the lack of words that were said to me is what was identifying me and…
0:42:25 S2: Interesting. Yes, isn’t it all the waste I shifted… This was a couple of years ago, shifted from… Started asking, What do you say about me? How do you see me? What do you want to say to me? And oh my gosh, every time I asked that, he is always telling me how much he loves me. He always telling me how proud he is at me, how He delights in me, how… He’s just, he just is so proud of me, and she was like, Oh my gosh, there’s this amazing father who loves me as proud of me and is cheering me on and sees me… And has nothing but great things to say about me like, This is amazing. This is like a dream come true. And so because I have positioned myself in knowing that he sees me in this way, that’s not where my identity comes from, and so I would say that those three questions are a great start, and then you can, as you trust what you’re hearing and as you build that with him, you’ll start hearing him throughout the day, you can just be cleaning your countertops and be asking him a question, you’ll hear him speak.
0:43:34 S2: I would even ask him about certain situations I was dealing with, certain relational situations, like what I have to say about this, is there something here that you can show me about why this relationship is in this place, and what’s crazy is that because I had written stuff down, I would write it down, have an encounter with that person, and then I would go back to reading what I wrote and it would be exactly what he was saying to me, you know, and so there is… And that’s where it would build my confidence, he is speaking to me, I am hearing have… And so that would be a really, really great stuff, and that’s honestly a great thing for wherever you are in relationship with you or with the Lord to be doing that, and Batista and asking those specific questions and writing what you’re hearing him say.
0:44:24 S1: Yeah, I love that is definitely a very active changeable. And I think even beyond just the journaling thing, one way that I feel like I hear God is it’s very visual, and because I have that visual component in my prayer life, and I look into things from an aesthetic view, not from outward… Not like that. Come on, people. Deal, right? I meet from the perspective of, Okay, here is the situation, and how can look is God’s showing me physically with my eyes, and so I would hear… I would see based on dreams, so at night, I’ll have dreams, I’ve also had a very huge enemy attack and nightmares because God does speak to me… Envision in that way, the enemy knew me, it was horrendous and I had to work through that, it was like nine months of Nina, and so I am really grateful. My son simultaneously… Well, not sections, his was a few years before, but went through nighters for very long times and working through that, I also see the component of visualization through him when he draws or when we’re talking and he’s like, Did you see this? So I feel like we share that on, but I would constantly be asking God to show me versus tell me, because I feel like sound is such an important thing in my life, and I constantly have music on and I’m with the kids and there’s that sound…
0:45:49 S1: That’s another piece of it. So he’s shown me just literally, I can close my eyes and visualize something, or if there’s a song going on and I’m like, Oh my gosh, I’ll turn it up to be like, That’s exactly the answer that I asked you this question just a day ago, or just this morning, and it’s in response, and of course, people can look into that anyway that they do, it’s just like a feeling that you might have a… God doesn’t work off of emotion, he works off of truth, and so in response to questions, you’re also always gonna have this emotion, especially things like shame or fear, or those negative pieces, but when we can work past that and you’re journaling it down, you have the space of kind of breaking down those lies to the point of, Okay, why do I feel this way? What was it rooted in? What’s the truth behind the ligand? Like you said, it always comes back to love, and after Meehan.
0:46:46 S2: I think too with the whole life thing, just something important to men, that when you’re asking the Lord, what? Why am I believing? And he shows you and exposes that with you that in that moment there, so you don’t wanna just sit in that like, Okay, cool, thanks for… Thanks for letting me know about this lie and just sit in it, but then to activate now your authority and your freedom is to then basically surrender that lie to him, give that lie over to him and ask him, what is your truth? What’s the antidote? What’s your truth? And then receive the truth, ’cause he’ll give you… He’ll say, Well, I don’t see you in that way, or you are like… For me, you are my child, or whatever it may be, and then you can look up scriptures that match those things, and that can now be something that you start believing in. Is that true? So we always wanna exchange the lies with the truth, and so… Yeah, I just wanna make sure that the
0:47:51 S1: Bonds you’re talking… I saw this visual exchange of God passing over a box and I passing you the gift, I will take this, but He doesn’t leave that space bad, he doesn’t just say like, Okay, I’m gonna take that away from you. Go on your Bois, replacing it, that Annandale giving you something new to unwrap and new to see in his visual of who you are, so… So I love that, I think so, that is so tangible for people, I feel like we could keep diving deeper into that concept that I wanna be sure to be cognizant of where people’s hearts kind of a… That’s a lot of information in it. Is a lot of information. I’m even like, Okay, what can I go? Experience from that, but I really love… And I’ve talked about this, I think in just a journal, Villiers on Ally, but then I do it via Instagram, so I really… I, I love writing, but that concept of the hustle and the heart, again, going back to that is there’s so many slogans that we wear over our life, and now it’s become something that people are using as a financial gain, so whether it’s mommy needs a Mark or…
0:49:10 S1: In me, please. And it doesn’t have to be about alcohol, it can be hustle, it could be a hot mess express, it can be so many different tag lines that are laughable, we get it, but is that how you wanna claim yourself… Right. And I loved what she laughs offered from their t-shirts, from their hats, from even just the… I have the first scripted in my bathroom is a declaration… Yes, and owning the gift that God has literally given us so many times before, but we turn our eye because maybe we want humor or we’re trying to look at it from a place of… This is popular again. Let me be the Rachel. Let me blend into the crowd, right? That’s so good. Yeah, at the same time it’s like, hold on, take a stop because that is becoming part of the rap, well, you’re continually going because everything around you is moving, but if we can rest in that identity piece, and it’s not to say that you have to tag yourself with across everywhere you go. Right, though that’s amazing as well. If that’s something that you feel to do, it’s owning it within yourself and having that sense of worth and self-identity, and it’s a hard thing to do, but at the same time, God makes it easy, it’s hard by action, because we are so keen to like What can I do to fix this problem? But again, it’s the prayer full-time where God’s gonna exchange the gift of awareness, and once you just love on his daughters, he wants to lose children, but I know we have a heart for women in Gallardo about self-worth and self-identity and that piece of claiming that as you walk into every new season, you’ve done it a multitude of times…
0:51:06 S2: Yeah, well, when you’re talking, I kept thinking about this recent season of motherhood, and one thing that I did to protect my self-worth and identity that I had worked so hard to establish before Zara came into the world, was I started noticing for me how social media was really, really stealing for me in that way, being new to motherhood in a couple of months, and we had some different challenges, and my daughter is super healthy. And I’m so grateful for that. But we had some challenges. And so she was a colleague, she had a refit, she had a ton to and a lip tie, there was just a lot of… It was just a huge adjustment. I mean, honestly, the first six months were really, really tough in a lot of ways, and then it got tougher and other ways, but then there’s a beautiful moments, but a way around her being about four months, I started realizing how being in motherhood with this infant and social media was starting to really attack and steal because of how I was engaging with it from my self-worth and identity and peace at the time, and I was comparing a lot…
0:52:25 S2: There was a lot of comparison, I would say. There was a lot of women that had babies around the same time as me, and so I would see their baby’s doing something and I would look at her and she wasn’t doing that, and all of a sudden I’d be like, Oh, is my baby okay? You just, this fear would come over and for me, when Zara was born, I didn’t leave my house for a heinous, you did that loves it really hard for aitape as
0:52:53 S1: Enthusiast as a socialisatio
0:52:59 S2: One experience. It was not what I thought it was gonna be like. I thought one was born, you see all these moms walking around Target on their little Sally wraps and their bias just to sleep, and it’s just like this perfect little like, Oh, I can go anywhere. We do sleep, I’m like, Why is this not happening? For me, and so it was just not what I had expected. And so I barely left my house, and so I would also be on social media and I would see everyone there, all the moms are like by the pool, and all these new borns are just hanging out and on the beach, and I’m like, I can’t leave it like why… And it just was really hard for me, and so I found myself really heavy by my relationship with social media and that it was stealing from me and that it was actually causing me to not be grateful for what I have, to not celebrate what was before me, it caused me to… ’cause then I go into like… Now, I’m like four or five months post-partum, and I’m seeing all these girls who are my age, you don’t have babies, and they’re like, all of a sudden, all doing all these things for the Lord God and whatever, getting all these opportunities and stuff, rotate it goes like, What am I doing? Like, Who am I, here am I…
0:54:17 S2: And all of these insecurities from rooted in comparison, I started really overwhelming me, and that’s when I was like, You know what? I need a break. Yeah, I need to break… This is not… Breaths is not giving me a lot to this stealing from me. And so I basically was off social media for the last eight months, and it was a fantastic… I’m gonna tell you, it was very freeing, it was really cool to see how it just, again, forced me to be engaged, to be present, a nasal. Talk to your friends. Yeah, and I had more emotional space to talk to my friends and engage with people like… I’m not a phone person, I love talking on the phone. I had the emotional capacity to do them because now I’m not being bogged down with what’s going on, so she meet in like a US posted like, what are they doing? Why am I doing that little… I would be like, Oh, I’m so heavy by so many different motions, comparison, rejection, not good enough. All these things. So then I had all this, I was free. I was like, I don’t know what anyone’s doing.
0:55:26 S2: So this is great. What is it? What you don’t know doesn’t hurt you. You know what I mean? To, I just felt free in the sense of like, Yeah, this is what is going on, life is what’s right before me, and I have more capacity to be engaged with my friendships and with my marriage and with my daughter and with myself. So that was something I’ve done and now I’m back on and I’m just carrying it with some boundaries and… But that was really good for me, so that was something I did recently to protect all of the… The identity and the value piece, and when I start feeling that creep in now, that’s when I’m like, Okay, now that I’m on, I know.
0:56:03 S1: Consent from and how it can come. I think that that’s a really valid piece, especially because she last was so much on Instagram with the read, so you were on it, nonstop owed the baby, and you have this extra time on your hands, but not really, and so it just… It really can be a time set and a draw, so much… I had to, during my season of really comprehending who I was in comparison being a huge thing and having similar shame experiences with letting go of businesses, is that I had to clear my feed, so instead of company did do durations of getting off… Not eight months. Which is amazing, I should try it out. Very stat, I would go and I would just unfollow. And I’ve heard a lot about un-following in the content strategy marketing, and people that I see it, and I’m like, You know what, it’s not… I’m not doing it ’cause I don’t like you, I’m doing it because I need Sandy and I have to protect myself regardless of what you’re doing to the best person in the world, and I could still learn from you… It’s what I’m seeing it is that i needed to remove a…
0:57:16 S1: Solomon just literally went through and cleared anything that was in a parallel of comparison, and not to say I unfollowed every mom, I’m a mom, I still see moms do things all the time, but I went hard after if they’re not speaking life into my life, if I need to do that. I don’t want to read it because everything will affect you and because I’m such a words person, it wasn’t just about the image, it was about the words, and it just… It seeps in, it seeps in just like a open window that’s slightly open that drafts gonna come in on me, it’s cold in here. Imagine reading something constantly that’s not pouring life into you, so it’s not just from a social media standpoint, and I now have a really huge stronghold in that area of it being a safe place, which people think that that’s so bizarre and they’re like, Why or how… And that was a journey to get to that place. Not to say it’s still not a time set, ’cause I feel that way from a business person sometimes, but also valuing that there’s the relationships that come from it and really gaining those positive points, but you have to do that with music, you have to do that with what you’re watching on TV, what Netflix show are you launching on, what you’re reading, what you’re hearing, who you’re surrounded by, and that’s like…
0:58:35 S1: Those are the tangible that I constantly source back to when I’m talking with a friend and they’re going through something, it’s like, okay, well, let’s kind of break down what your day looks like, Show me what you’re doing, show me what is fueling you, and I can likely tell you where the cost comes in on some… And no, I can’t like hindsight, see where your childhood was, but if this is something that draws you in, where to batteries.
0:59:01 S2: There’s all this… And I’m please don’t be if I say this, but it’s where my mind is going is I hear conversations about Game of Thrones
0:59:09 S1: All the dot, and I’ve never seen an episode there, so I can… I’m sure it’s basic, but I also learned in the last week that Game of Thrones dropped the porn industry by 15%
0:59:24 S2: Of
0:59:24 S1: Since it started because it’s a section of soft porn, stop it, and it is now feeling the need for these people and that have this problem, and I say These people, I have my own flaws, I have my own struggles, I found that so disturbing that now when I hear it… Where before I was like, I just haven’t seen it. It was never deal. Now I’m like, Oh
0:59:48 S2: Yeah, wow, I’m kind of sad, but that’s where you spend your free time
0:59:52 S1: And I want a release to… We all want that mental solely, but there are positive things that we can be feeling ourselves with, and social media is inclusive of that, I
1:00:04 S2: Agree, as well as Netflix. It’s funny that you say all that because I have actually been in the season recently where I feel like again, this invitation from the Lord, this compelling to really start being super guarded with what I’m watching and what I’m listening to, what I’m engaging in, how I’m spending my like my… What’s the word? I’m looking for my time, but kind of like the inactive Time Life, yenisei work part-time, and I do a data entry job, it’s a very mundane work on a computer, and my brain needs to blah, this is very mundane work, easy. And I’m grateful for the job. It’s easy work. So I started the way to entertain myself through this, getting all this Monday and worked on was watching shows… Okay, I would have friends on or whatever, and then now I’m done with friends, what do I should… Started watching all these different shows that are decent, shout, then they would highlight or they would celebrate like sexual stuff or like murder or anger or whatever it may be, and recently… And what I would start feeling was I would start feeling heavy… Yeah, I would just start feeling really happy and really unmotivated to do anything else after that, I would just delete from me, but then I noticed on the days that I would listen to worship music or listen to podcasts or audio books, and I would literally feel fed would I would feel like a Vilnius reload.
1:01:56 S2: So I was like, Oh, there’s something here, I need to… You very aware of this. And so I have been now taking a step and what I then realized like God took it to another level for me as I was reading Galatians 5, I’ve been real sister last month, and in the passion translation, and it talks about… It’s the section. And when she talks about spirit-led life, and we’re like flesh versus Spirit, partly versus self, and he just talks about letting the Holy Spirit live freely and fully through you and that the desires of the flesh hinder the power in the presence of the hope in our lives, and then he goes into, the Bible goes into describing all the different things that are like under the holy staircase, sexual morality, pornography, but then it goes into chasing after other things, tracing after things other than God manipulating others, not being able to celebrate others when they have a have a Wayland. And then the thing that really hit me was chasing after things other than God, and when I realized again, I’m reminding the Holy Spirit’s purpose in my life is to be my comforter, my advocate, my strength.
1:03:10 S2: Yeah, how am I letting… Who spirally comfort if the way I’m choosing to cover myself is to beg out watching television or to go to the country or whatever it is, and so I’ve just been in this real space right now where just this call for higher sacrifice and greater discipline, so that I can have more in the Lord and we’re in the Holy Spirit. And it does call for sacrifice, but just really evaluating what things are we giving ourselves to that are actually not giving us life to not feel like I see
1:03:46 S1: Even in that bed out mode, and is probably one of the most important… And that was definitely something like I listen to worship music, non-secular music for almost three years straight, I refused unless I was in an environment that I couldn’t control to listen to anything else. I lost contact with like going to comport with all… A bunch of friends who I Odoacer with and I didn’t know what the new release was for my country resorts that I love, and even like watching the same testable… Oh, who’s that? What do you mean? That’s the number one seller carding as the year in no idea what are they seeing, and so… But then I would, I was slowly allowing it back into my life because I felt rooted and I was like, I can handle this… Yeah.
1:04:31 S2: Sure. Let’s listen to country music today while we heard it, or sit by the pool, and I was similarly… Like you said, I was really broken-hearted, and I was like, This is what I listen to all the time
1:04:43 S1: Since my first songs, I can remember, and I was consistently infiltrated with jargon, worldly jargon that was fueling so many negative actions and so many negative emotions and completely unaware that there was any connectivity to that, but every single thing that we do on a continual basis, just like the water that you drink, if you’re consistently drinking Mountain Dew, and I hope someone I’m specifically talking to, drinking into on the regular in…
1:05:22 S2: No, no, no, no. CareerBuilder, it has not deforestati
1:05:32 S1: IV. It’s connecting another portion of your body and your mind in a way that’s not fully life, that’s not giving life, and that’s a very tangible explanation of health, but it’s not just body, it’s mind and Solly, and even with our Arizona. Oh gosh, absolutely. So I thank you for kind of unfolding that part of it too, and I hope that this podcast is a source of positive fuel and a time that people can self-reflect absolutely. And feel nourished when they’re done, and now, simultaneously, that it’s not about the action of doing… After you listen to something where there’s tangible action steps, but more so like resting in the fact that you are loved no matter what… Absolutely. And well, no matter what you’re doing, but God wants you, he is called jealous for a reason, and tell us in such a way that he wants or love anyone’s our attention, he wants our ears and our eyes in our mind, and especially in the time where we are trying to edge out, imagine how much more abundant we would feel and energized and full of life if we provided him that opportunity of space to speak to us.
1:06:54 S1: Absolutely. Yeah, no, I just like, What are we gonna do? That’s gonna breakfast I would love before before to now, because every time that we were together and we had the opportunity to pray, I just feel so uplifted if you were kinda leas in a prayer, I just kinda what we spoke about and… Yeah, absolutely. To your doctor, his daughters.
1:07:20 S2: My sisters. Yes, I would love that. Well, Father, we just thank you so, so much for who You are, Lord, You are God, a good father, and I just thank you for this time where we get to gather in your name and share more of your heart and your character. And my prayer is that for every listening here today, that they would have been able to encounter your character and heart more, that they would feel a drawn an invitation to seek your voice more, and that they would discover your voice in their life, and that your voice would be later than any other voice in their life that women today would… If they can relate to any different area that we spoke to today, Father, that Holy Spirit, you would just give them a confidence and a strength and a grace to step into you more, to respond, to do action from a place of response, from seeking you father that I think the biggest thing is the Lord, that we would just seek you more, that Holy Spirit, you would help us to seek the heart of the father or… And so we just pray a prayer of importation for that over every listener, that every spiritual ear, eye and heart would open to hear and know the truth and to live and believe in that truth, and that there would just be an imparting right now of more an importation right now of greater intimacy, greater identity, greater authority and freedom found in Christ alone, and so we just seal that right now in the name of Jesus.
1:09:15 S2: Amen. Thank you. Thank you, it
1:09:18 S1: Was so Caterina. Hope in today’s episode, you sense an Ignite to an ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your wholeness journey before you go. Let’s solidify the flame. I’d love for you to take a step right now in declaring your take away by snapping a pic of the episode you tuned in to share your sparked moment and tag me at Fifth with the hashtag faith podcast so I can help you stay accountable. We’re in this together, right? Community over competition is the motto. I’d also be credibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast was the AP, Let’s fuel the flame and share the gift of wholeness with everybody until next time. Cheers to your health and happiness.