Living Free, Living Healthy – with Jessica Hottle

Jessica is a fellow podcaster, a #1 best selling author, wife, and coach too! She’s a truth-teller and ultimate encourager to bring your thinking and living into alignment with your God-fidence!

In this episode she unpacks her own physical and emotional healing journey and why she finally said yes to her mission in Empowering women be set free from the lies they believe about healing, weight loss, and their body.

Even though we’re a shared enneagram 3 she is anti-hustle! Desiring not to strive, but still honoring that we are seen and known and no matter what we do in a day’s time frame, that our heart postures are what matters most.

And though we are both advocates of health and wellness – we both have shared histories that landed us here as stronger, more whole women who want to see other women feeling safe in their own body, mind and spirit!

God is THAT good and thankfully GRACE is at our fingertips for immediate access..

healthy
Jessica Hottle

Get to know Jessica and go show her some love!

Freebie: jessicahottle.com/5-lies-women-believe

IG: 

www.instagram.com/jessicahottle 

www.instagram.com/livingfreelivinghealthy

Website: 

www.jessicahottle.com

Podcast – What’s the Truth

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/whats-the-truth/id1493189231#episodeGuid=tag%3Aaudioboom.com%2C2020-05-29%3A%2Fposts%2F7594782

Show Notes: Living Free, Living Healthy

I am so thrilled to be with you guys today and to introduce you to my podcast guests who was also a fellow podcaster in another Excel, which makes me so excited because… I think they’re the best people to have on the podcast.

I too, see when I talk, they’ll talk and it’s like this conversation that is just unlike, were stared by the other people who are like, well, how there’s a ring light in my face. What’s happening? So I am so excited to introduce you to Jessica hole. She is the podcast host the God’s truth… Or what’s the truth? I’m curious which one you call it, because when I put it on my Instagram to share, I’m like, Huh, I’m curious. And she also has a coaching business, she’s empowering women to be set free from the lies that they believe about healing weight loss in their body, so when we first got into connection, it was a… A common thread that we both have with the mind, body and soul alignment and just space, and so just… I’m excited about our conversation, is pumped to have you here, they… As I call it, what’s the true? It’s the truth. Okay, I think you see are…

I always been three, two and… Yeah, I’m so exciting to hear. Yeah, me too.

So what I’m jump on in, because last week we had a great conversation about unpacking a lie, and that’s kind of how you set up your podcast, and so you get confronted all the time with people’s thoughts or the life that they either tell themselves or the lies that women are told… So either through your coaching journey or yourself, what would Ali me that you would unpack it? About myself. Yeah, yeah, the one that always comes to medias that I’m not seen, and what I do is never enough to fill in to my personality, but I come in this background is just striving and the anti-SLE, I believe in, there’s time to work and there’s time grass there’s time to run and time to walk, but in a typical it uses always running, and I always feel like… So today, I just didn’t get anything down even though I did do, and cause it’s hard for me to honor that, and so I always have to unpack in that, Scripture tells me that I M-C And I am known, and it’s just constant reminder that no matter what goes on at my dad for engines, it’s like it doesn’t matter because my heart posture has to bend towards his heart, and if I know that he cares in DC, then that’s really what matters. That’s so good. That’s so necessary. So tell me, because I know wisdom comes with age. Right.

Where were you… Cause we’ve talked about the fact that we’re both any grants, and so I want you to unpack, what did this look like? What did… You’re now passion. How… Did it take root in your life?

I think most of our passions, I think we get so overwhelmed by the word purpose and passion and all the things, I truly believe that a lot of what we experience in our past, our past pain class, hard things that we’ve been… Or our friends or our family, we get really pumped up about them and then we want to expand in our health, and I think looking at my mass and the catacomb from lot of trauma, a lot of pain, a lot of hurt, I just begin to realize that carrying around cause a lot of digital symptoms, it cuts a lot of health on ones, it hard me to be bitter or exactfl angry and in a new GRAT after the 20… If I still lived with all of this heaviness, I was such a pastime and I didn’t even realize it, and I just thought the world was happening to… To me, not for me, and it is played the vice.

For me, it was coming out of this is this time in my life, in early 20s, 20s and really started this kind of toward my late 20s where…

I don’t want to be walking around like this, I don’t wanna be angry all the time. I don’t wanna be example and bitter or holding offense, that’s a been especially now of if you don’t believe what I believe, then we are taught to hate each other and care never end father, and I think that’s what’s important of why it’s so passionate now, ’cause I went through my own healing journey physically, where a lot of Life came for me that people were saying that Galante teacher less of your sickness and that kept me sick, and walking through the emotional side as well, and understanding just how much we tarry of paying in trauma in… But how much that effects or like our businesses, our relationships, how we… You the world, and that’s why I’m talking about helping women get emotions in a healthy way, see, that’s so incredible and so Paul, on such a necessity. I think as women emerge into their purpose in that place of passion that you hear thrown back and forth, like you said, but it really roots back to your testimony and where you started, and how can you serve people well, you consider people well, and it’s coming from your heart, when it’s coming from your storyline, when it’s coming from your own knowledge, your own grief, perhaps your own empathy, it’s not all about just having a certification of something, it’s… Why did you get that certification? What drove you to that space? So I’d love to hear more about your own expedition in health, and you mentioned and kind of alluded to your own journey of healing.

Oh, was that a physical thing or…

I would say that it started with a more physical first, meaning when I first started, when I expected you to that 22, I also started my first fitness business, and after my first fitness is is I would say it was my outlet. It was what I thought I could control. It was what I put all of who I was into and how I looked really matter because I thought How I look that that would correlate to how people loved me, and just kind of what I put out into the world, and I just wanted people to let me, to this idea of, Well, if I just looked good and I could get the compliments and all this thing, so that really led and drove my business how I looked mattered, and then my spiritual father came along, who accepted that were once to my life, and he just was like, Jess, what do you do, basically?

And just completely like, Hey world and really began to challenge me in the way that I was thinking and what I was hammering, and what happened after I got married was my body kinda broke down and I’m just doing research and trauma and stuff, and finally feeling safe comic for the first time of my life, meaning safe at home, don’t have to strive, hustle, there’s so many layers that comes into that, and I just started having crazy symptoms, like loading all the time. I tired, I was getting dizzy. Crazy, I had been a position Virgo three times in one year, I case on the airplane and woke up in the bathroom, and I read that line and it was just… I mean, you name it, I probably experienced it and it was through this journey of healing emotionally, but healing spiritually, which led to physical healing and led me to finding doctors, listening to what I felt like the police car was guiding me to… This doctor is not working for you and just helping aid and that it all started from the spiritual journey, but came in different layers.

Yeah, I love that. I think the layering effect is so necessary because for me, it was the same from the standpoint of physicality and having that as a forefront of achievement, almost like I can learn this based on the effort that I put in here, and yet I was starved in my mental and spiritual growth.

And so I, I love the way that you classified that as for people, and I think it becomes more relatable, the more we’re able to understand that there are these varying components of who we are, and I… It’s up to us.

So God obviously takes the forefront in that regard, but if we don’t act towards or walk towards that light, the light could just be shimmering from the side and we could just keep going at that supersonic speed, so the point where you’re on the plane, for instance, what was the timeframe that you kind of woke up, put on hot to say, I got him to do this for myself or for my husband or whoever…

I think a lot of it, like I said, it was a build-up of 20, 25 years, I pretty much came out of my mother’s we in trauma and your invite flight for years and you’re buying… Just cannot sustain that, and I think a lot of us are doing that now without even realizing it, a fight-free kind of mode where we either… Or to berserker is that A is and you’re kind of all over the place and you can’t settle down, and it is the opposite where we get depressed out. And for me, I would say it was actually coming off of a conference that I was at at the time, and it was on the airplane, and I just remember not… Not probably eating in a… For all the things, and after that it was like my health was never the same coming back from the airplane, and I just knew I spent that summer not being able to walk or do anything, but trying to find answers and spending so much money in doctors visit and I would say that was probably my biggest wake-up call, I was still pursuing doctors, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t getting answers or it was just kind of maintaining, but then that’s why I get so passionate ’cause a lot of women, we don’t know better, we don’t do better, but for me, I knew that he had ten answer from what I was experiencing, and I wasn’t gonna give up until I found that answer.

So I would say on the emotional side was when I was coming up from a back spot and my back gave out and I couldn’t work out or live for whoever… I can’t remember how long, but I remember at that moment that the Lord reminded me, you put all on to you are into what you made.

So I have these different experiences, but I… It was all… It was all created to… Yeah, that’s really intense. I think that that physical realm is kind of a place that we put all or nothing because it is the first sign… Right.

Everyone comes to see you, or you’re looking in the mirror and you’re like, Oh man, this is different, or this has changed good or bad, but people don’t often see what’s happening on the inside, so you can go on through life and everything seems okay, and meanwhile, as I mentioned, you’re either starved, depleted.

Your insides are tangled. For me, I had suppressed a lot of things, and so because I had that for momentum all the time and that supersonic speed, I would just take the things that hurt and I would just push him to decide, but oftentimes, people think that that’s like a strength, that’s like a sign of good that like, Oh wow, she can handle it and she can keep going forth, and it’s like, Well, actually there is a lot of value to slowing down and addressing those things, otherwise you explain… So how did these things end up working in your relational situations, whether it be in your marriage or with friends or family, when you started to make this shift, did they notice since it was also an internal shift that you were taking place in…

I think my husband probably noticed at first we can… The site all the time. And you go, I got help ’cause as when hormones fluctuate and you’re just tired or you’re always that go stress mode, like you said, when you start to suppress what your body is trying to communicate with you, it’s going to come out, whether it’s gonna be angry or anger or lashing out or crying or what however needs to come out. And for me was the lashing out, it was the shortness, it was no patients whatsoever, it was almost as if everything just irritated me, and now I can take more… For us, I guess she’s a say like, Okay, the ether to ding me, I might like a ha moment or whatever, I just say what… That’s good. I like to respond, I’m like, Oh, ’cause you always get angry now I’m not perfect, and I still do that, but we talk about often just how different night and day I am when your body is regulated and it’s working properly as the way God intended and designed but sometimes it does mean, How it uses how… But for me, it was first, I hadn’t believed that God provided healing for me and that healing was available to me, because if not, if I’m believed in my head that I would say, no matter what supplements I took or work out or food I ate, I would still say six because on mind is that powerful in our body will follow what we think… That’s so good. So I’m curious, because of the type of coaching that you do and then the variation of the podcast, which I’m gonna show everybody what it looks like so they can be sure to find her on your podcast, listening apps, what… How did those correla… You’re dealing with women, you’re dealing with the lives that they’re bringing to the table, was there a moment where you just had an A-ha, I need to help more people than just this one person. unlock this, I think, again, it comes back to test because when I thought about the podcast, I knew I wanted to start some kind of outlet, I guess she would say, where you just find… Talk to the idea, you’re like, Okay, I’m gonna say all these anything things on my… Anybody gonna listen? I had someone was walking around or timing around my head, woes gone, ’cause I walked so much, I was like, Oh, I could lock and talk, and it could be a BOCES, you have to the things in a… Just coming back to me, things I would write in my journal of, this is all that you feel, ’cause I was the girl that would respond to every emotion, if you didn’t like me, I would get… I would start to get hot and flushed and why don’t you let me… It was just this, all the time is one loves and I just, I’m in our love writing and just writing it out and I… We write everything, I’m like, Okay, but what’s the three? I know everything and I feel and I am allowed to not own it and accept as from identity, but I can embrace it and go, okay, What’s it communicating to me?

And that’s kind of where the pieces came from because I just started writing this in journals and I started reading it, and then I was sad ’cause confronting in my business notebooks that I was writing this down, and I was like, Okay, this is something that I feel really called to address, it’s a ally popular and sexy and really keep catchy, ’cause he wants to address lines that we tend to believe, but… ’cause every week it felt a… Were the… But I think it’s important that I begin to challenge women in the way that they think… That it could change the way they live.

I think that’s so powerful. I think oftentimes people, like I said, you do… You take it and you carry it.

You take it and you carry it.

And some point you either have to release it or you’re going to fall, and so whether it’s a physical realm or a spiritual realm or a mental realm, there are so many spaces where we can be free and we have access to that freedom through Christ Jesus, which is amazing. But I love, there’s been this consistent theme in my week, just the last weekend since I are these weekly, it’s kind of fun for people to be able to walk along side me and see what is going on in our life, so I love that your resource in that regard as well. But for me, one thing that has even been triggered in this conversation is the speed, and for entrepreneurs who are listening is that’s kind of a part of the market, is this desire for us to get quick, whatever… Right, right before we do on the call, we’re talking about social media engagement, we love to have tens of hundreds of thousands of followers tomorrow, but doesn’t work that way, just like It doesn’t work that way when you’re losing weight, just like… It doesn’t work that way when you’re trying to gain weight back, so that sometimes feels faster depending on what state during or what need you’re in, and then same thing for a spiritual space, I feel like I wanna have all the scripture memorized and being an ordained minister it’s often that people are like, Oh my gosh, she’s here and I’m here, the the term doesn’t work like that, I’m still becoming… I’m still going, so learning to be in God’s face is so much different than our natural secular tendency to be at a supersonic speed, so how has coveted and all of that since we’re still coming out of this pandemic and in our first phase, how has that looked like for you, from a slow down perspective in a…

I think for me it’s… The Lord is always open where it’s low and study, and I think that’s because for years in my business, I wildest pursue anything and everything that came along and I… So for me, especially with the podcast or the sheer was, I started doing quarter breakdowns of, Okay, this is what this quarter’s gonna focus, I’m gonna focus on, and he’s how I’m gonna grow in future this… And it comes back to that consistency, no matter what’s going on, what does it look like to be consistent in the season, and I think it’s important that I say consistency and it’s very subjective for some… By the three days a week working out would be consistent, but other people, it could be fine, Sly and not to make the consistent. So I think during this time for me was just important that I found consistency showing up still, whether things feel weird, I just don’t feel like it, ’cause there’s some days or I sit, feel like it, and then there’s just… That’s just discipline, right? It’s not that I’m striving or whatever, but let me tell you, when it’s sunny here, I don’t wanna work because we don’t get on a boy, how they… All these goes, right? And so I have been called the Stewart, my business and my body and my finances, and all of this… Well, I am the steward, God is the owner, therefore, I get to enjoy but take care of the things that I have given. And I think that’s important during any kind of time, what is it that you need… Your family means and God is calling to you.

Right on the season. And for me was that just continue to a bi… Speak truth, not everything you say or anything you said has to be coven because God’s facts and truth are relevant to all of us at every single time, but for me, it was this called to continue to just change the narrative and focus on what it is in front of us.

I love that. Change the narrative, I think that’s so necessary, and honestly, what you’ve done your whole life without even necessarily utilizing those words to do it, and that’s God’s role in all of our lives all the time, because we’re constantly inundated with a specific narrative that’s being plugged in our face, even subconsciously without realizing it, Bill, words, music, all of that, and I had to be super mindful from a mental space because I think it’s easy for us physically to see a change in someone… Good or bad, right? And then you have your spiritual well-being, which is a little bit more difficult to dissect, but then the mental health space, I think is a really critical, really interesting space to understand, and part of that is What are you feeding yourself from a mental space, what are you watching… Do you think of your five senses, it’s a great way of understanding where your mental space or where your mental health is, so you’re… So here, your taste, your smell, all of those things, and I would love to know how you specifically help steward the path that you’re on in your senses and with that mental health space. What does that look like for you?

Well, I think that it can be a really dangerous line if we live by our senses, and that’s something that I was women, is that our five senses help us know where we are in reality, but always the truth to our reality, and I think a lot of times, that is why it’s hard for us to live by face because we’re depending on what we see to prove our faith, so we’re hoping that the situation of circumstance with a body lines with the Word of God that I’m reading, and if it doesn’t, then I’m probably not living in faith, ’cause we’re always waiting for almost got to prove himself in my situation versus I already believe he’s taking care of this despite… And what I see, therefore, a lot of people are like, You are what you feel and just follow your heart and all these things, and I just disagree with that because the hardest social and our feelings are fleeting. Therefore, I wanna make sure that what I’m feeling there is an… Or not that I put it into its place, I can feel it and I could be angry, but what I do with those feelings matter, therefore I can experience and feel in my body that I might be fatigued and time, but it doesn’t have to become who I am the sickness or diseases in my body does not have to be this title that I just claim over myself and live out, and I think a lot of times when it comes to mental… ’cause I know something very, very, very, very, very dear to me, long people that experienced things, we all experienced certain things, right, but trying to not normalize it in a sense of…

This doesn’t have to be your life. And I think that even as believers, we try to normalize it, but there’re just a higher way now, and it’s not easy, not saying it’s easy, A, or there’s a simple answer, but I think we’re just trying to normalize way too much and it’s keeping us… ’cause what you tolerate, you live with, that’s really good and turn… That’s, I think, ’cause I can think of seasons of my life where I could put the tagline of depression or the tagline of anxiety or those things, but they don’t hold me, they didn’t hold me then and they don’t hold me now, do we confront those emotions occasionally yes, and so that’s where I think it’s a really amazing thing. You’re tactic basically as journaling and then even through our podcast, like talking it out like, this is how I feel, this is the lie that continues to play me, this is how I want to change it, or how God would change it, and how he can change it, and so helping people through that is such an empowering space, I am not a mental health therapist, I have had therapists and I know that their power is incredible in and of himself, just in the techniques and models that they use, so not to negate that, it doesn’t exist, because it does, it’s just a matter of how are you stepping out and how are you stepping into the light through that time? I think a common thing and something that you hadn’t experienced probably first hand yet, but you will, and I’m sure people around you have from this, I reject and mindset of, I just had a baby and you’re in that postpartum space is like a… At what bracket of women do you really love to cater to and who like you have a common customer, if you will, or economy client thinks that they deal with…

I think that one of the things is they often deal with, they know the truth, but how do they live out the truth and they live one way for so long, and they’ve tried everything that they don’t know how to get to the other side, or they don’t know what it’s like to not have that in… Because we get so accustomed to the things that we experience, we get accustomed to our feelings and feeling one way, and that comes with neuroscience as far as bringing hard wiring the chemicals that we release in our bodies ever AWO, we think of thought, which creates an emotion which tells your body how to feel… This is not just… You’re not crazy if you have certain things, but there are things that happen in our lines where it’s paying trauma how our brains respond or… Feed are exercises in my fourth book that I’m earning, I talk about these means of healing and they all kinda go together, but God’s words always the foundation. So for me, I definitely work with women that they want to change, they know that something is wrong, but they don’t know how to get it, or they live one way for so long that they can’t ever even imagine that God’s gonna take him through this… Or redeem them.

That’s so good. I love stories of redemption, it’s like one of the reasons I love being a part of the book that I just helped co-author, tell me more about your stories and your books and the things that you’ve written, because I think there is such a power and written word, I think that’s why the Bible is so powerful.

What kind of led you to those spaces and how have they been met? I think my readers, and then I think for me, the comment thing in my book is Always know you’re worth, it’s like my first book is not your worth, and that really was all about compare you pass for a powerful future, realizing and confronting that your past doesn’t have to be a future, and a lot of us take our past experiences and we live in the present through our past, so that therefore we engage our present through our pass, which then dictates how we see the future, and if we don’t allow ourselves to process experience go through understand close loops of pain from our past and how we proceed is always going to be that, and that really is now you’re worth of, I have to share all of my stories and testimonies of this kind of coming to… Okay, this is what it looks like to know you’re worth, and A was the that I kept talking about, ’cause then was a huge out for me, I just gave my body way at a very… In agent, I kinda lacked a father for your growing up, and so then we’re just kind of the go-to, so really wife is about comparing your home and heart for marriage and how to communicate effectively have a god, new relationship and a date stable. Asking the great questions, but also how to communicate in marriage as well, and then… Oh, your worth was really about this idea that, yes, we can that or work, but how do we actually live that out, what does that look like in life, how do I die to self in a sense, but so honored what I’m going through and I showed have thought of life experiences in that book, if you run them on order, they know your worth first, you would see the growth of the books and the growth of who I am, and this forest book that is coming out at the end of 2020, it’s something I’ve never really broke forward. It’s all about emotion, physical health, healing, and how passion I am in that, but according to God’s word and what’s available to us. Wow, that’s so amazing. I love that, even though it’s not a series, it has that kind of feel and ambiance to it, just based on the journey, the season of your own life, and I think as I’ve been finishing writing the one that I’m currently doing, I’m already like, Oh my goodness, I have to finish this because the next one is gonna be so good, because the things that you learn and the things that we develop in that concept that I often share of always becoming because you are… This is a journey, this isn’t a running around, you’re here, you’ve made it, you’re redeemed, you’re worthy, you’re known… Well, I can tell you by the end today I will be like, God, I don’t know myself anymore, let’s work on this again, like every day, there’s this constant shedding of past, owning of future and just claiming over our lives who He says we are, and so I’m excited, I need to get some of the ding hands on. These are any of them Audible, ’cause I could listen to you all day.

The Ohio it taste point.

Alright, so that means you have to release some chapters on your podcast and a tuned, get some hooking at for similar to read because I think there’s so much value in the message that you’re sharing with women, and I love the one about being… Or the wife, I actually did, because I came into a lot of my own self-awareness and self-identity and also my braking point while Mary for four years, been together for almost 90 at that 7. and so thinking through, how do I re-establish myself as a worthy life?

When I thought I was doing okay, but I knew I wasn’t doing the best. And now also coming into my faith and establishing myself in front of my husband has this new me, like this new bride, and him coming along for that journey, I had taken part in… It was a book called The husband project, and it was like 31 days of selfless acts of kindness that you would do in secret, you were upset to be reading and doing this in secret, and it gives you literally like calendars to fill out ideas every day, and I remember through that process thinking at the beginning, your desire is… Why isn’t he noticed? Why isn’t he said In anything, where’s the reciprocation of love? And by the end of the 31 days, because it was a biblical-based book, it’s teaching you about doing it out of selflessness, doing it because God loves to in that much in today, you’re the speckle of salt on his life, on his earth, on his place that he’s walking, that is shedding light and life in the areas that she might not even realize he needs love in line, and so I love that. I’m gonna have to pick that one up for sure.

I love that. That’s a good… Yeah, it was a really cool book, I tried to get more girlfriends to get on board with me, but only a handful were like… I’ll do that.

I would love to bring it back to the table, circle that to some women who need it, but I wanna keep unpacking bore you because I think you’re so good at unpacking other people’s stories and even probably your clients, because that’s what you do through your podcast, and you’re gifting, but tell us more about your own journey with getting to know God, and were you in your faith before you got married?

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

My husband, he didn’t believe before, I would say, finding Jesus at 22, I was really kind of more of the checklist girl of, Hey, this is going to charge a one, and I’m telling the answer and just kind of that thing.

We didn’t really see the outward change of me, probably for another… And you would know how many years, maybe three or so years, just… I’m sure there was changes, but there wasn’t like dramatic, there was very light.

The one, it was small, ’cause I had just carried so much heaviness around for a long time, and I would say that when I met my husband, I was coming back through purity, so I committed perio, be pure, and things have in my life do a stop and that did not end well, which led me to running my first chapter and not your work, which was called a year from hell in a… We re-committing myself again to pure… And then I met my husband, and of course we say per until we got married. But yeah, I kind of… I realized a lot about myself after getting married, I don’t think what we all do… You’re not gonna be in that.

It’s a lot at the point of marriage. And I believe the covenant that God has in store for us is having that to become one and understanding that we have a lot more weaknesses than we might realize when we’re living life alone, but those weaknesses are met with strengths and it’s a beautiful thing, and it doesn’t make it easy, but such as the walk. Right. If it was easy, we would probably do it alone or with the girlfriend instead… Yeah, I lived alone in my own house and he… In Pease Dhana, what we ate now, but we live two hours from each other, so for me, I had everything in my house in place, clean, organized all the time, and he’s not a messy guy, any means, but I’m definitely the organized Ides, a spot in the trash I had to do a he… He don’t just do an Indo ’cause I was in the doorway.

So that can wait to see what your house looks like when you have kids running around, so… I ate things out. Yeah, I love that. I wanted to ask, because I have a lot of gals who are kind of in that space right now, whether they are not currently married or they were divorced and now looking for that special one again, and they’re in that they’ve committed themselves to that space of purity as well, what advice do you have for them? Because oftentimes, they’ll come to me and I’m sitting with them an empathy, but I don’t really know what to say because it’s not something I even understood until I was married, so imagine trying to walk that purity life that as a married couple, and it’s not suggested from any therapist, especially a sex therapist, for you to say, Oh, don’t do that, because then you’re coming further away from the person that you’re supposed to be intimate with and shared with, but I was unpacking such places of shame that it felt… Painful to me, it felt uncomfortable. It felt shameful, it felt like not a place of safety, and it’s supposed to be a place of safety, so I’d love to just hear how you walked through that and what ideas you could get these other women… The walking through the purity to marriage. Yeah, so I always… It depends, everybody’s different, and I’m not some person… It’s gonna be like, Oh, I don’t have sex, which is a lot of the message that the labor screen have sex. But I think it’s important to understand the context and why do not have sex? It’s the emotional Tasman, it’s what happens after you have sex, it’s the chemicals that releasing your body, which is why a lot of women that I would talk to you then I just can’t go over my x and I’m like, Did you have side of your X and like yes, like that is honestly probably the number one reason why a lot of people have a hard time gaming over their X and mega law that comes into it, they can’t… They was gonna see the best, you always win to the best in somebody, and therefore we settle for somebody because we wanna have love regardless what it looks like, and I think that most women, I would just encourage to understand that… I understand what love is. What it looks like in accordance to God’s word, patients five is a thing in western side where it really talks about the role of the man in the role of the wife, and that really got me through how should a man treat a woman and what does it look like, but also what does it look like for me to step into those roles too, because I know a lot of women that will pray from this amazing God and man, but their actions aren’t in the same pursuit at the man that they’re praying for.

And I think that is very… Something that’s really important is what you want to see in a man, you should also be pursuing yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re single and 35 relieve yourself of that, there’s no timeline, there’s America and… But really to just be encouraged in this time to live your life and continue to pursue God, because He will, if that is excited that you already know that you will provide it, trust Him and walk it out with him, but don’t settle for something because you rather be alone.

It’s really good.

I think that kind of circles back to our conversation about pace and… No, I was kind of referring to it from an entrepreneurial journey, and even for some… I remember wanting to get pregnant immediately after we had not married, and even that pace, I was just constantly like, Let’s go, Okay, on to the next year is my next plan. God, here’s the next plan on, and he always came through in his own way, but it wasn’t until this space of my life where I’m realizing that that pace that he has us on is so much more intentional because just like you mentioned, the beginning layer of that non-feel if you had just catapulted into the complete center and you wouldn’t have been ready, you wouldn’t have been right, you wouldn’t have been understanding of why you were even in that place to begin with, and so I’m looking forward to the moments when my friends are able to say like, This is what the weight was for, ’cause I believe any time that God reveals something new to us, I am understanding of, Wow, this is why he did that.

And one of the reasons that I came into motherhood when I did, and is that it kept me in my marriage, it kept me in my safe place, that kept me in a space to say, You’re not gonna give up, you’re gonna keep fighting because this home is more than what you might understand it as, and so to break generational curses rather than running staying, and I’m just so grateful when I look in hindsight to all of the things that God had planned for me, but we so often, even me, I’m saying this to myself, so often are hoping or wishing for something to be different right now, when in fact, right now is just as it should be, and I think that that’s a testament to so many things that we have going on even in our world from the grandiose perspective of where we are in this pandemic to… Right.

Yeah, and I think it’s important that women know why and what they’re pursuing… It’s important to know what you want in the end. What you desire a man, what’s the is what’s it important? But going back to this idea of knowing your body instant purchase, it’s not been redeemed, but it’s been purchased and coming from this perspective is not gonna cause us to have say, Because we’re honoring our bodies as the temple, as the is here in a way that we know the Christ as a as.

So in return, we get to be kind to our bodies and patient with our bodies into state, there’s so many other areas that this goes into, but that’s just one, and to encourage them is to know that it’s just this treasure is your treasure, and it blows back to identity at worth and what you’ve been taught and the things that you carry, but… Those are just a few things that are important.

Yeah, I love that. I was driving home with my husband his past week in, from a surprise hiatus that we decided to take last minute ’cause we just needed to get out of the house and he was sharing some random thing, ’cause we were passing a bunch of mountains and cow pastures and he was telling me a story about when he used to drive 30 minutes into a rural area from where we live, get milk the… At the time, it was like 3-50 for just a Como it, ’cause it was fresh and then drying home. And I was just looking at him and I’m like, I’ve love to before I knew you.

And he was like, What are you talking about? I’m like, I just love that. That was his pace as a 16-year-old, it was so unlike me, so when we talk about those weaknesses in those strengths, it’s more of a marrying of your goodness, the desire of your heart, and I have such this desire to teach me to be slow and he’s like, Teach to be fast, and it’s this intake that you get… You get in this symbiotic love that I know God has in store for all of his girls in some way or another, and at the end of the day, specifically with him, and so leaning into God in those same prayers and those same desires of our heart, knowing that he provides in such an abundant way that my husband couldn’t even possibly in some areas.

And so, I just encourage women who are listening in that regard, that that worthiness factor, that investment factor, that if you are investing in him, him being… Whichever one you’re taking, as I say this, he is investing in you, and it’s just a matter of where your heart set is in those places… Yeah, no, I completely agree, and I think it’s really important that it’s the pursuit in the heart, in the motives always matter, and it’s important to see how they treat you, especially around people around their gins around like you said, this varying is… We always have these high standards and high expectations, and we want them to be… Do this perfect thing. But in reality, I think it comes down to No, I priorities of what is important? Does he have to love to say… Because if you love country and he doesn’t like, That’s okay, you can probably sit… We have a day one that I…

I am… There’s a lot of into focus on… And I really got into this in their worthy wife, but just talking about questions to ask on a date that can really solidify right away with that coming being like, Hey, we’re not sex. There are things that you can address and talk about, which is what we should be talking about in the stating process instead of jutting for two or three years without the intention of getting married in the way the original design in this courting idea, but we should know one who is our first, so that we don’t look to a man to see that it’s going to even enka… After or to this fulfillment. Kind of things are good. I love that. It’s so good, it speaks literally directly into some souls that I know are gonna be listening to this soon, so I’m really grateful for that.

I wanna keep kind of unpacking a bit more of you before we close out here, so tell me more about consent, we have a lot of that entrepreneur mindset of vision casting, and I go, That’s probably a good space for you too, as that in diagram three, where are you going, what’s your hope? Where has God promised you? Do you have something in mind with him?

I think for me is the overlying theme, I feel like I sit places in my heart is held to say These people and strengthen them in their walk, so healing them is physically, emotionally scripture in times of smearing the animistic and we shall see them recover, and that’s important to me is that we don’t have to walk around. line’s not to say again that we don’t experience things, but we can find it all costly, except that we can reject it. And to say, people bringing his people back to him, reconciling them, ’cause we are in the ministry, reconciliation, and then strengthening is after they get saved, or if you’ve been saved for a while, but strengthen them in the Lord and what that looks like. And the words are challenging me to be bold in my faith, but old doesn’t always need aloud, and I think that’s important.

And overall, it’s continuing to write and continuing to speak or… And really just getting in the nitty-gritty with people and just looking them in the eyes and just being like Your love, like God, see you, he knows you. But as far as business-wise, it’s definitely continuing what I’m doing, just Of course, larger scale, the God will provide the increase of where I need to go, but speaking it, training and coaching, or my top things that the always the… I love that. I think it’s so beautiful, and I know he will provide because He is good in all of the ways of our hearts, and when it’s in pursuit of a kingdom of a kingdom, ripple effect of a kingdom desire, he wants that just more than we did more than we could possibly understand. So I love that he deposits those similarities and so many people when… Have you gone to the Hersh speaks conference to be talking to… I was this year, but I cancelled, okay, well, you have to go next year because it is so powerful and oh, I’ve got into this conference, I went two years in a row and there’s 800 women around you. These same desires, and that’s only 8 00, that’s like microscopic in the grand scheme of things, that he would implant this same concept to all of these women is it moves you in such a way that you almost feel out of body as a third party watching this whole thing happen. It’s unbelievable, like you’re sitting on the drums with God saying, I see what you see, I hear what you hear, I understand why they’re crying for you, why they’re crying for these who need to be healed, for those who need to be in communion with you, it’s totally amazing. I think for me, oftentimes, I realized that women are just alone even in maybe the mist of their marriage, even in the midst of 1000 relationships, and they’re alone because they’re not fully understanding of the relational aspect of who Jesus is and that opportunity that He gives us and therefore, when I… I bring people around the table. My desire is not just for them to show up with this one hat on, but to show up as their whole selves so that they can experience just in a tangible way, how long they are, how fully seen they are, how beautiful they are. And so I just love that other women are doing the same thing, I love the way that you speak and how you formulate words is amazing, so thank you for sharing with us what final things do you have on your heart that you want the listeners to hear just from this message, anything to tie it with the boat, I think that the most important thing is to kind of marry the two of receiving God’s love, because a lot of months can read our Bibles all they want, but it’s not the experience or allow God to a laue on us or molitor us, or believe that if he did it, peer, he can do it for me. In this idea that God is at this army distance or use a Punisher, all these things is just not true, and it causes us to not wanna go bolo him because we think that we’re too far gone, we’re not good in just our sins, us from him and of course, that is not. We are unkind, he does not look at you through your sins, he doesn’t even see your sin, because the sin you’re in nature, that part of you, that was the devil side is no longer a part of you, so we see to Perot and it… If there is a new, and I think is it that I can encourage you, of God is for you, is not against you, that means He’s for you and try situation for your healing or your health or your finances, he wants to supply above and beyond anything you could ever imagine.

So good, I feel like I need to round of a plus, but then I forgot on apices, you’re speaking to my heart. And that is amazing. It’s always for the one… Right, thank you so much for sharing Desa y’all. I want you to get in contact with you her, I want you to listen to her podcast, it’s so good. I love you in a hero, the other women.

How can they find you? What’s the best way?

Oh, potato, sure.

At series, and then I love hanging out Instagram. I’ve always in my DNA or just posting things on Instagram, of course, in stories, so that’s a escapade or you can hand to my website and if I talk to see that… DeSoto dot com for such books.

Yeah, and I wanted to make note too, because there was a freebie you wanted to give them, and I looked at the resource than… I thought it was really good.

Do you remember which one it was?

Yeah, walking with God when moving your body.

So what I eat and fitness together and let… That looks like… Awesome, I’m gonna put that in the show notes. You also, if you want that good, you have to go over and subscribe to our email list, it’s powerful, you’re gonna love hearing all the things that she’s sharing on a consistent basis, and thanks for being here so much. I hope it met people, I know that it will, and I just wanna close in prayer, I spilled to do that versus what we usually do, just say piece… Did you wanna start and I’ll close?

Yeah, sure. During the month, you so much for Tamara, thank you for this podcast, thank you for just carts, the people that are listening, Father, thank you for the work that you’re doing in their carts. Father, open, I pray that Elly open heart, Willie, and the ground that we walk on will become soft in so that that the fertilizer becomes just your burn in their hearts, and that is the truth that they need to stand on and nothing else. Nothing else matters. Every houses where it’s nobody else is a pain, but that you’re pinion up here, they are not comes first, that to love, your love may abound more and more and more inside of them, so that they can start what… It’s right, what is true.

The love of you increases inside of them so that they can understand that they don’t have to take offense to things their way from that you are for the healing. I think for anyone that needs healing in their body, physical hearing, that it be gone in the name of Jesus, and I just thank you for what you’re doing in their lives in praying favor over them.

God, I just thank you so much for Jessica, thank you that her words and her heart are with you and for you and buy you and through you, I thank You that the women listening to this podcast are ready, I thank you that they are willing and anxious to meet you, to know you deeper, to feel and sense your love Lord, and not beyond their emotions and not with their senses, God, but in a deep sense of their heart, in the knowing… In the know that I know that I know that you love me, God, that we are fully known by you, is a gift, not something we should run from, that something we should be fearful of, not something that we need to hide from.

God let us walk out from the bush and be seen, let us release anything that is keeping us hidden, let us run from the dark and come to the light, God that we may know through our relationships and ultimately through the covenant marriage that you have in store for us or are already placed, us within, that we would know you in that relationship, and that we would glorify you through it with our minds, with our bodies and with our souls, and that we may leave generational impacts of positivity to those that come after us. That we would be shining examples for who you would have us be, it helps steward their hearts, those trauma points that we may have experienced when we were younger are not trauma points that they ever even understand that I thank you for this beautiful relationship that you’ve established, and I thank you for the ability to just come to people in such a way through podcasting, through social media, through this time, or people are home and yearning for something more, and that’s something more is truth, and you are truth in your sweet name, a prime… A man.

And thank you so much for being here, and thank you so much for him.

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