I used to cringe at the thought of being with a ton of girls. I wouldn’t rush for a sorority because it just sounded like drama. So even when I got a snap bid, I could not even get past the first week of in person meet ups when I walked into a room of 300 women.
I thought “I’m a guys girl.” I don’t want the estrogen surges and catty attitudes. I want relax and unwind. I want nonchalant and light-hearted. So I had a select few gals that I had on my quick dial and the rest of the crew were guys. I thought it worked. I thought I avoided a lot of gossip and frivolous tears…but then I realized it wasn’t about all of them, it was about me!
I was afraid of connecting too deeply because then I’d have to share parts of me I didn’t quite comprehend. I was blocked off because I didn’t want to have to dive deeper into my own unknowns. I wasn’t truly in touch with my own femininity. I was threatened by their ability to be vulnerable. I was looking for affirmation in the wrong places.
And then years later – I got married. And you just can’t have guy friends in the same way. And then a few years later I hit a brick wall in my own identity. I had lost my sense of self worth and because of life choices, had a hard time looking myself in the mirror…
And then she came a long. She saw me broken. She saw my eyes downcast. She saw what I never let anyone else see and she still loved me. She turned my eyes upward instead of outward. And she helped me embrace me while learning to love the nurturing necessity of girlfriends and the power in community. She made my relationships with my other girl friends stronger because I recognized our mutual need for one another. And God showed me that He is equal parts masculine as He is feminine. (Watch the movie The Shack if you don’t comprehend that). Without my girl friends constant pursuit and reminder, I would have been stranded solo with little comprehension how to love myself or even fully receive love.
Girls – we need each other! We thrive off each other. We complete the parts of ourselves that we need even in our marriages and surely in our motherhood journeys. We can dive deep and cry together and not feel less than or unworthy or “annoying” as I previously viewed it. We can cheer one another on towards love and good deeds! We can be silly and relax and unwind while also be REAL without judgement.
I’m still all for a good adventure. I still like to avoid drama. I still would rather participate in the sport rather than watch it. I still love to drink beer and watch movies and hang out…I know just get to do it with my best guys AND my best girls.
So I encourage you, if you consider yourself a “guy’s girl” don’t dismiss the intended purpose and passion behind meaningful relationships with women. They get you much more. They see you. They feel for you and with you. They know you better than the ‘guy’ ever will.
I’d love to hear about your best girl time rituals!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”