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Protect Your Energy: Feel But Also Deal with Your Emotions – With Angela Ianni

Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself from years past and not recognized the person in the image? In reflection, are you a better version of that person or have you declined?

Are you pressured or weighed down by the highlight images you see of others? What are you overwhelmed by? Are you lost in the fog or have you been able to see the light?

emotions
Overcoming Overwhelm

As women you feel… A LOT. We are supposed to recognize and deal with the emotions, but we also can’t let them control us.

Today’s guess has used her emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bootcamps to establish a safe place for us to experience the overwhelm not as a crutch but a stepping stone to our ultimate best version of ourselves and our purposed life.

We have choices…we choose are commitment levels to our own health. We choose who we allow in our inner circle to better us and sometimes unfortunately break us down.

It’s up to us to Protect Our Energy…do you know how?

I hope Angela inspires you and teaches you as she did me in this time.

Connect with her here:

Personal:

https://www.facebook.com/angela.ianni.50

Business:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/overcomingoverwhelmsupportgroup/

https://www.angelaianni.com/landing-opt-in-page29025420

Protect Your Energy with Angela Lanni

Tamra:

We are so excited to welcome this lovely woman to my side who, if you’re listening podcasts, you don’t get to see that she’s wearing yellow which is one of my favorite colors. I love the word and I’ve kind of claimed it as my aluminate. And I feel like since we’ve had the opportunity to meet each other, which is really only a few months ago you have had the capacity of illuminating my life and maybe unknowingly. But I feel like every time you’re around there’s just this sense of peace there’s this sense of intentionality in you showing up. And I feel like a lot of people don’t have that. I feel like there’s, it’s a constant just Go! Go! Go! Go! and ever-evolving like a spinning cycle of this is what I have to do let’s get through the day. And I know you’re a mom and I know you’re a wife and I know you have your own business and I know you’re doing all the things like everybody else.

But when you come to a table, if you come anywhere that I’ve been with you, you are present. And I’m just really grateful for that and something that I want to be better at myself.

Angela:

Wow, Thank you.

Tamra:

So thank you for that. And, interestingly, it aligns so perfectly in your aura and your being with what path God has put you on recently. So I just would love for you, by the way, this is Angela.

Angela:

Hi

Tamra:

I’d love for you to introduce yourself and kind of start wherever you feel led to where you are now, who you are and yeah, all the things we want all the things.

Angela:

Okay. So I’m Angela Lanni and I am a life coach and I specialize in helping mothers that are struggling with anxiety and depression, find a sense of peace and joy in their life and hopefully a little bit of clarity.

And right now I coach with using an eight-week overcoming overwhelm program. So I use that with my one on one coaching clients. But then I’ve also founded the overcoming overwhelm support group on Facebook, which now I think has like 109 members and it’s just this beautiful community of women that are going through some sort of crisis or overwhelm in their life. And it’s a place for us to come together and kind of lean on each other. Because no matter what you’re going through and I feel especially this for women is we are so pressured to move past it, get through it and just get done what needs to get done. So we wind up hiding our struggles from others.

Tamra:

That’s so true.

Angela:

Especially with the pressure from social media. And I definitely felt that. I mean I had a lot of struggle in my life and I hid from it, I ran from it. So that’s why I created this whole business around these women cause I just had a heart for, I guess the former version of myself. And I never wanted anybody to be in that space again.

Tamra:

Yeah, I feel like that’s why, you know, God uses all things right. And you hear that all the time and you’re like, what does that even mean? Until you’ve gone through something really hard and you know, you’re like sitting in the muck and you’re like, why is this happening to me? Why am I here? How did I get here? Why do I feel this way? Why did this person do this? Why did I lose this person? And you know, even still that God uses all things and you’re sitting there completely hopeless, usually completely overwhelmed. And you can’t see past the fog of the moment. And it’s always the hindsight 2020 experience where you realize, Oh, this is how he used it. Oh, this is why I went through that. And oftentimes it has nothing to do with us. And that part is really hard to like conceptualize when you’re in the middle of all the emotion. Because you think, why me? Poor me, like all of the “me, me, me, me”.

And if we could just take a time out in the Valley to step outside of ourselves and realize that it’s not about us, that would be so helpful. And yet we forget because every other thing like just floods us and emotion is a real thing. You can’t turn that off. Especially as women, we know that and we aren’t supposed to suppress those things. They’re allowed to be brought to the table. They’re allowed to be opened up and don’t pack them in like a can of worms and hide them in the closet because eventually, they’re going to come out and not in a pretty way.

Angela:

No, no, no, no not usually. I’ve never seen it done prettily. I would like to see that scenario. There’s no movie made about that yet. The pretty can of worms. I don’t think it exists.

 

Tamra:

But if we could just understand that at that time, and I would hope that people going through your course will then have that better ‘aha’, that better sense of self-identity and self-worth that the next trial that they do approach, they can at least look at it from a different lens.

Angela:

And that is the entire goal. And everyone I’ve worked with has been able to come out on the other side of it with just a completely different way of looking at life in general. And you know, like you were saying you know when you’re in the midst of it, it’s just like, God, this sucks so bad. But you step out of it and it’s like I tell my life story and I tell people like,  I feel like I’m making this up because there is so much that has happened that I could just, I could just crutch on that for the rest of my life and use that as my excuse to just be a miserable person.

And when you look back on it and you see God’s hand boot camping me through life and getting me ready for this journey that I’m on to help all of these other women. It’s like, okay, God. All that’s cool. I’m good with every bit of it.

Tamra:

It does. It makes it seem so minuscule and yet so important. Right? Because now it’s your calling. It’s where God says, okay sweetheart, you’ve done it like my good and faithful servant. You’re still standing. You’re still here to tell your story now, bravely, now competently, because you have gone through the muck and the mire and say there might still be pieces. And that’s an amazing thing about it is that God uses everyone. No matter what space or state you’re in if you’re vertically aligned, he’s going to horizontally align you with the right people that need what you’ve gone through.

 

And I think we’re always trying to be the best version of ourselves. I mean, we’re, you haven’t made it. We haven’t made it. Whatever made it means, I think for me, that’d be at the feet of Jesus. Right? And so I’ve got a long way to go praise the Lord for that about babies I need to be here for a long time, but I am not ready for that. So that means I can’t be stagnant. I’ve got to continue to grow into what more trials that will come my way because it’s not over but also to abundantly live each day knowing I can be more than what I am right now.

Angela:

Well, right on the other side of that is as leaders for other women in our community, we can only lead. I can only coach as far as I’ve come.

Tamra:

Oh, that’s good.

Angela:

So I’ve got to keep coming. And whatever rawness and pain and things that I have that  I’ve yet to overcome or have yet to deal with. And there are still things daily that I’m learning myself, mostly from my four-year-old that I need to work on. And I’m grateful for those opportunities because every time I see a piece that needs fixing, it just shows me that’s one more thing that I can help somebody else with. Once I get this Concord.

Tamra:

Yeah, that’s good. So you said when you share your story with people, and I’ve got to hear it a couple of times, but I feel like every time I learned something new. So kind of lead people through and in whatever capacity of like how you’ve gotten to where you are now and what that quote-unquote other side or next mountain peak looks like.

What were those valleys and how can people come to you and feel entrusted by what you’re teaching because of what you’ve been through.

Angela:

Okay. Well, I hope you know what you’ve asked for.

Tamra:

I am. I’m ready.

Angela:

Okay. I will try not to make this too long, but I grew up without a father. I never knew my biological father. He decided that he wanted to push my mother down a flight of stairs when she was pregnant with me. So that was a relationship that I never had, that I am now learning has affected me through so many pieces of my life. I was, and I don’t like to tell a lot of people this because it’s because I’m a Christian and it’s not something I’m proud of, but I was pressured into an abortion at a young age. And that was a very difficult decision. And challenge for me. I wind up getting married to a wonderful man with two stepchildren. Wound up having a miscarriage that completely rocked my world because I was very focused on raising the two kids and working on my career and doing all of these things. And I wasn’t sure about kids cause they’re dirty and they’re messy and they’re expensive and Ooh, and then this miscarriage comes along and it, I never knew what true loss felt like. And the funny thing is, is that the pregnancy was a surprise. And I just, I lost it and it just, it rocked me. It rocked my marriage. And it kind of just started this snowball of, like I said, this emotional boot camp that I was being put through. Because shortly after that… Oh God, you don’t even know about the physical issues.

Tamra:

I don’t, it’s like every time it’s another onion layer and I feel the same way for my podcast listeners. I’m excited about that.

Angela:

So there was, I had a myomectomy, which was a C-section for a tumor. I wound up having a couple of cysts doing some exploratory surgery. They found out that I had endometriosis. And I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tumor removed, but they don’t lift it out of you beautifully like a baby. They carve it out of you.

Tamra:

Yea, cause it’s on you. It formed to you.

Angela:

Yes. It’s, yeah, sorry if I’m being too graphic. But the recovery for this is much different and I was told after that that because of the amount of scar tissue and endometriosis and all of the female issues I was having coupled with the LEEP procedure from a cancer scare on my cervix that I may not be able to have children and I should get started immediately. And I freaked out over that of course. But I think that was God, like getting my heart ready for bringing Eleanor into existence because I’ve fought that for a long time.

Anyway, after that we had to deal with the death of both of our mothers, both from cancer, both on hospice, both died in my front living room.

Tamra:

Oh my gosh. What was the overlap time of that?

Angela:

Six years. And the first one was Steven’s mother. That was she was in our home for eight weeks and died the Sunday before Christmas. And because she is a woman and Steven is a man, I did the majority of the caretaking and all of the things. And then my mother, and this is kind of like my bittersweet story because she was diagnosed when the month I found out I was pregnant with Eleanor. So she got two full years with her, which I’m so grateful for. But I had dinner with her one night and I looked at her and I was like, Oh my gosh, Sandy looked like that. I’m like, I turn to my stepfather, I’m like, she does not have a lot of time. And he just kind of broke down and I said, you guys move in on Monday, I’ll take care of it. She moved, she walked into my house on a Monday. Was carried out the following Monday. Like it was fast.

Tamra:

And you just recognized it because you experienced it already?

Angela:

Yeah. Cause he was talking about this trip in January. I was like, dad, she’s not going to last the month. So that was I think that was the one that really rocked me. That was the one that just sent me down because I had a two-year-old.

Tamra:

Oh, my gracious. So you’re still having to mother while also grieving the loss of your mother. Yes. And your other mother, your mother in law. And so how, I mean, keep going, cause I know there’s more and then I’ll ask the questions.

Angela:

Long story short, my like I said, I didn’t address my grief. I didn’t acknowledge it. I hid from it. I ran from it. I used every toxic coping method known to man. I was on an awful medication that made me gain like 40 pounds and I decided that a bottle of wine every night was an okay way to grieve. And turns out when you have a toddler that’s not the okay way to grieve. Yeah So it was, it was a struggle. I wound up in the midst of all of somewhere in this. I lost a six-figure income due to layoffs. And then started working for a startup. I’m working 24 hours a day, traveling a lot, which caused even more stress in my marriage. And you know, it just, it came to a point where I started having panic attacks and like I couldn’t breathe like my chest just tightened up on me and I would break out into these crimes fits like driving.

Tamra:

Oh, my gracious.

Angela:

And it was like, I have never experienced like anything lower than that. And I’m just like, what is wrong with me? Why am I doing this? And you know, it’s funny that the paths that you wind up taking to pull you out of things or should I say the path that God takes to get you there. And I wound up having a friend who said, Hey, I want you to come to this woman’s retreat. And it was one of the most dynamic things I had ever experienced. And I think I cried through almost the whole thing and I had such a breakthrough and I just feel like God spoke to me like that entire retreat.

And just slowly but surely I being put in front of women that were giving me the resources and the encouragement and recommending people and recommending books and recommending things, and all of a sudden I’m like, okay, this is cool. Oh, by the way, I quit the startup somewhere in there too. So I’m jobless and trying to rebuild my life. And somebody pulled me to the side and said Ange, like, you need to be a coach. I would hire you. I’m a train wreck. Look at that. What are you talking about? And I thought this person wasn’t insane.

Tamra:

Oh wow.

Angela:

And it was just the seed that I needed. And as I kept growing and kept healing and kept doing all of the things I needed to do, and thank God for healing my marriage and rekindling my relationship with my children and all of the other relationships I had abandoned. It just kind of grew like outside of me. And I started doing these things and I’m like, this is not me. I am not entrepreneurial. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. I guess I’ll figure it out. I don’t have a ton of money to do this. And all of a sudden this thing just grows.

Tamra:

Oh my gosh. It’s so beautiful.

Angela:

Yeah. I feel like I’m rambling.

Tamra:

No, your not. It’s so seamless. It’s so seamless. Every, I would stop you. So many people think that they’re like, I think I was reminded I would stop you. You’re, you’re doing amazing. And that is incredible because I mean, obviously so much and I feel similar when I share it in the longterm, like a process of I was born here and this happened all the way to the end of where I am now. You’re like, I’m a lifetime movie. I’m so sorry. That was depressing. I promise there were highs. I am a happy person. I did have joys. I did birth my daughter after experiencing the lows of endometriosis, and all of that.

Angela:

Oh, and It turns out that the recovery from a C-section is so much better than the recovery from an (inaudible 19:55).

Tamra:

Yeah. Good to know. Yes. So much better. But there, I mean, life is happening to everyone. And I think the differences since I’ve come to the table and authenticity and I have been met by people who have done the same, is letting out the can of worms, letting other people kind of hold it with you.

Even if it’s just in passing for that one conversation and then they never think about it again. It allows you to reestablish each time your identity and in such a strange way because each time you say it, I feel like you’re letting go of it more and more. This happened. It’s okay because this is where I am today. And that is literally how God created Jesus. This happened, he came and he experienced the pain of the world. And yet you get to be here with me now. And so it’s such a beautiful thing. And like you said, it’s so weird that you’re led down paths that God still sees you in. Because usually, those paths are really dark and scary. And yet we’re so boldly walking there because we are blinded by all of the negativity. And yet I know from me, from my own experience, walking through these dark hallways and I was like, I’m good. There’s a light down there somewhere. I’m good. And you just keep going. Until finally there is that concept of rock bottom. And you hear people say this all the time and you’re like, Oh, well they’re not quite there. They haven’t hit rock bottom yet, but the situation they’re going in is horrible and they can’t see past the black hole that they’re in.

And yet they’re somehow someway they think that there’s a light. But I believe that the light comes when we surrender and we’re able to finally see wherever that place is that God picks you up. Because just like that retreat where like you were at the bottom and just one little thing that urged you into somewhere positive, even though you’re in this pit, that one step of like faith or hope is what led you now to this space of allowing other people to find freedom in the dark. And so I love that. That’s my whole heart behind illumination is that I feel like society’s living in the dark.

Angela:

Oh absolutely.

Tamra:

And we have the ability to live in the light, to be in the light. And I circle full circle back to my summer-loving self. Like I just love the sun and it’s not about worshiping the sun, being in like tan mode. Like I wear my hat now cause I know what happens with my freckles when I do it otherwise. But it’s that space of like you can be here and be joyous as well. And yet sometimes people fear the light because there’s feeling like they’re going to be exposed. So share with me when you’re experiencing and walking people through overcoming their overwhelm, the part of authenticity in that and the importance of that, but also like that fine line of like exposure and not letting them feel shame at the same time that they’re exposing.

Angela:

Well, I think that’s a huge part of the healing process is getting there without the shame and the embarrassment. And I mean obviously, I just said it, there are still some things in my life that I’m not proud of and, but I’m learning to make my peace with them. And in that process I’ve got to show up, my client has to show up and we’ve got to get to that place together where we trust each other. And which is why I prefer to do all my meetings either via Zoom or FaceTime or face to face because I want to look you in the eye and I want to know, are you talking to me? Are you playing on your phone? Are you talking to me and telling me the truth? Or are you doing a lot of this? And yeah. Well, yeah. No. That’s not why you’re paying me to like pull you through something. So it’s like I always tell my clients, I’m not your friend. I’m Not your mom. I’m not going to sugar coat it. I’m not gonna blow smoke up your rear end and tell you that you’re gonna be fine because right now you’re not fine. And you’ve got to be honest with me and honest with yourself. So there’s a lot of assessments and a lot of aha moments that we go through.

Tamra:

Yeah. That’s awesome. Yeah, it’s scary. I remember when I first went to my therapist and we’ve talked about therapy a lot on the podcast because I think that there needs to just be a chain broken off of that word and the concept of what, and I think I love that it’s now being altered to coach, “it’s the same thing” but I’ll call you coach.

So my coach, the first time I went to my coach and I sat on that other couch. I was in one of those places. I was still, in the pit. I was still there and I could recognize where I needed to go, but I was still putting like digging my heels like Mm-mm Mm-mm this is not going to be easy. And I remember not being authentic with her and she fed me, she blew smoke up my butt in the sense of she was feeding me only what she knew to be truthful. And so of course what she was saying, put more fuel in my fire because it was a lie. And I remember leaving, sharing the information with my husband and him like cocking his head to one side and being like, I don’t think that’s what she said. I’m like, no, it’s exactly what she said. And I felt just privileged and entitled at that moment though, knowing at my core that that wasn’t what I should have done.

And so I walked around for the next week until the next coaching appointment, sat on and we actually changed therapists because he was like Mm-mm I don’t really feel like that’s right. And so two after the next one, I was more authentic and I still felt like she was giving me the wrong advice. And that’s the thing is you’re not going to find the people always better the right fit for you. So I love that you’re saying like you want them to trust you just as much as you are trusting them. So it was finally, it was my third therapist that I went to and I remember being so uncomfortable. And Gary and I were sitting together at this point and I didn’t want to like unopen like I didn’t wanna like surface all of the things that I knew were inside of me that my husband had never heard and it is the worst thing, but I knew if I didn’t, I’m going to stay in this place. And it was a painful, painful place.

And so the therapist, I did not like, we left and Gary was like, I love her, she’s great. And I’m like, I do not like her. She looks at you the whole time. I’m like all the defense mechanisms, right? Red flag, red flag, red flag. And finally, it was when I surrendered and I was like, you know what? I can’t fight anymore. I don’t even know what I’m fighting against. I don’t even know what I’m fighting for. All I know is that I have two babies at home. I have this studly man who wants to make my marriage better than it ever has been. And yet I am just digging my heels in because I’m stubborn, which I get from my lovely parents and I’ve always taken as a good thing, a prideful thing. And so when I finally released it and I feel like that’s the place of turn, that’s the place where you can’t wait for your client to get to. Right. I felt so much better. I was like a huge burden off my shoulders of like, you don’t have to do this. Like the only reason, the only person you’re fighting against is yourself.

It’s not about, again, about anyone else, it’s a really just about you and then allowing God to work within you. It’s not even about the coach, it’s not even about the therapist.

Angela:

But there’s the rub, right? Because you’ve got to release yourself as the villain. And that is so hard for a lot of women to do because we are so used to blaming other people for our problems and we want to play the victim. And woe is me that I’m going through this and it’s his fault and it’s her fault and it’s their fault. And it’s this situation is that trauma and nobody want to say that’s all BS. Like it’s me. And it’s my mindsets. It’s my hangups. It’s my lack of gratitude in life. It’s my lack in general that has put me here. And no one else is responsible for that. And that is a heavyweight to carry.

Tamra:

It is. It’s so is, and it’s something you feel like and you hear about like Jay breaking the chains or the shackles or the bondage. And that is what so many people are at the altar for. And I want people to know that like God does release those things. Jesus does see you as the whole woman, the whole man that you were intended and always like what he’s always seen as. And so it’s that of freedom. And I want people to get there. Like that’s the whole point of like, of illumination as a whole point of overcoming, right? Overcoming overwhelm. And I’m so thankful that there is a resource, like what you’re doing for people and even just the Facebook group that is free like…..

Angela:

No strings attached.

Tamra:

No strings attached, come and lean on each other and you provide almost daily lives, which is incredible.

Angela:

I have a lot of fun with them.

Tamra:

It’s so cool. I feel like initially when we talked you were like, I’m not going to do that. I’m not very comfortable with that. And you are so good at them.

Angela:

Yeah, I had somebody pressure me through it finally. I’m just like, Okay, I hear ya. I keep getting yelled at by like everybody about these stupid live videos. And so now like I’m just, I enjoy it and it’s like, it’s almost kind of like a rush and you get on there and it’s like, Ooh, what are we going to talk about today? This is so much fun and people are going to like my comments. I don’t know if you saw, I even did one, I was literally in the tub with a green face mask on and I’m like, I haven’t done my life today. Where’s my phone? We’re going to do a lot from the bathtub were gonna talk about self-care.

Tamra:

That’s so good. And again, so important because when you stand in a space of shame or overwhelm, the last thing that you feel like you can do is to take care of yourself. You feel and I feel and felt that I had to please everyone else. I had to make sure that I write it all the wrongs before I could ever worry about myself. Because how can you be selfish when you’ve already known that you’ve been selfish for so long? And so how can I do that? How could I also take care of myself? I to quit my job to do so. And just to fall at the feet of Jesus and to just pursue him because I had nothing else going for me at the time other than my children and my husband. And so how do people who cannot quit their job and practice self-care and self-love in the midst of overwhelm, how can they do that? What are some practical ways?

Angela:

It’s got to start with a mindset. And understanding that if you’re not taking care of yourself, how the heck are you going to take care of anyone else? If you feel, and I mean, I was in that state of depression where I didn’t even want to take a shower. I didn’t want to get out of bed like it was gross. It was awful. And you’ve got to look at yourself and say, I am better than this. My husband deserves better. My children deserve better. I deserve, no matter what I’ve done, I deserve better. I am worthy of taking care of myself. And you’re right, there’s a lot of guilt attached to self-care. Like we felt like, Oh is it okay if I go for a pedicure? And it’s like I shouldn’t have to feel like I need to ask permission to go take care of myself. Or you feel guilty because you went and got a massage or got a facial.

But like there are so many things that we put aside that would help us like physically and mentally. And it just, it makes me sad that women are in that state of mind that either they’re not worth it or there are more important things to do and you are the most important thing you need to do. Because look at everything you’ve got to do. And it’s like when you look at it from that perspective, it’s like, Oh, okay. That makes a lot of sense.

Tamra:

Yeah, it does. And it’s the concept of like the overflow, right? And so if we are trying to pour out of a pitcher that’s empty into everybody else’s cups that we’re constantly filling, including our toddlers and our husband when they’re sick and the when they’re healthy and then everyone else that relies on you, your moms, for instance. I’m sure other family members flock to you in need of comfort and fixing after that happened. It’s where’s the drop? I mean, you’ve got nothing left. How are you supposed to pour into other people and you’re always last? And we do it innately and honestly I think without thinking about it. And so now how we need to put ourselves first, and not a selfish, selfish way, but in a selfless way. Because if you’re filled, that overflow, you don’t have to stand with the empty picture.

Those people get to be like, wow, how is she, how does she abundantly give of herself all the time? How is she always wearing that, that space of joy? When I know she’s going through a lot of stuff and people ask me all the time. I’ve had friends in similar, it reminded me when you said that you were going through all of these things and you could have chosen any path, right. And alcohol was a choice at the time. And I have that that runs through my family as a problem and so I could easily pick up the bottle. And I could easily, you know, run to being a shopaholic again or I could easily run and do a bunch of negative things. And honestly, a lot of my friends, and they’ve told me this like I wouldn’t say anything to you.

I would probably just be like, you deserve that. Like, yes, go have a bottle of wine. Yes. Go on a week-long vacation by yourself. Yes. Go. They would encourage me. Yes. Go shopping if that like makes you feel better because you’re going through so much crap. But that’s not encouraging self-love. That’s not encouraging self-care. That is a negative way of doing that. And there are many ways to self-love negatively. So when we talk about that, we don’t mean to go eat all the things because you’re loving yourself. No, health and like that healthy mindset and that healthy body and that healthy spiritual being that is that full, you know, space of alignment is not the things that you know are not good for you. It’s the abundance overflow. It’s the bath when you’re tired and it’s the book that you have been wanting to read for a long time, but you never make time for. It’s the run that you keep putting off that you really want to do. You know, it’s the finding the healthy times and the healthy things that you know, aren’t going to negatively affect anything, Yes, the cookies really good, but is the cookie gonna make you feel better later? Is it working you towards the goal that you want when it comes to your body image? Probably not.

Angela:

Well, and that’s a great litmus test, right? So I’m empty. If I have this bottle of wine, am I going to feel more empty or more full? If I binge on those cookies, am I going to feel more empty or more full? If I get a nice long bath and give myself a full body scrub and I give myself a pedicure and a face mask, Am I going to feel more empty or more full.

Tamra:

Yeah, that’s good.

Angela:

That’s a really good way of what am I really doing to myself? Because you’re, you’re filling some sort of a hole, but what hole are you filling?

Tamra:

Yeah, that’s really good. So in your experience, and you said when you went to the retreat, that was like kind of a God moment for you. As you continue to heal and walk through even where you are now, how does your spiritual self play into your mental and physical wellbeing?

Angela:

Oh, that’s easy. Gratitude. And that’s one of the biggest pieces that I work on with my clients is a gratitude practice. And we work on affirmations and gratitude prayer and gratitude journaling and everything coming from a place of gratitude and being grateful and looking for opportunities to… Because, and this is going to sound silly to some people. But God is always looking for ways to fill you and you’ve got to identify them even in the smallest of ways. And to the point where if I get a parking spot up front, I’m like, thank you, Jesus. I did not have to drag my toddler in 20 parking spots back. Thank you for thinking of me today and giving me that front parking spot. You know, just the little things where it’s like if you, if you get, Oh wow, I’m getting the last slice of cheese in the fridge. I’m like thank you, Jesus.

And it’s just, you get into this habit and all of a sudden like your brain starts to shift and you come from this place of like take gratitude prayer, for instance, I teach all of my clients. When you pray, you pray, thank you God for X and you’re speaking things into existence. So I tell them, I said, you never ask for God. Never ask God for anything, never asked him. I said you thank him in advance for the work that he is doing. And it takes your prayers out of a place of desperation. So which so many of us pray from a place of God, help me, God, I need you, God, I want God, I have to have God, You have to fix. God doesn’t have to do anything. And we take it to God. I thank you for the work you’re doing in my life. I thank you for the work you’re doing and my husband. I thank you for giving me the words when I’m speaking to this client, or thank you for guiding my path as I’m driving my daughter to school. And God, I thank you for this delay in traffic because I know there is something you are keeping me from that I need to be held back from. And I don’t always know what it is. And that’s the great thing about this life is the book is written. We’re not going to know every page and every word and that’s where faith comes in.

Tamra:

Yeah, absolutely.

Angela:

And saying, God, thank you. I don’t know everything, but you do and I am so grateful that you are here and I am safe. I think safety is such a hard thing for us to fell sometimes, but no matter where you are you’re safe because you’re protected by him.

Tamra:

It’s really good. I definitely feel like I walked through and still am walking through a space of not feeling fully safe and even, I went through a season where I didn’t even feel safe in my own home. One because of lies that were implanted and two, when the lies were then healed, then feeling like people knew where I was and like they were coming in like inward and like that is such a scary place to live to be. And it makes me think of like imagine these kids that we were just talking about from the sex trafficking, from the safe house project. Like that’s only a minuscule expression of fear and unsafety in comparison to those situations of sex trafficking.

And yet it still can be deafening and silencing and in blinding because if you step into any negative emotion or any negative mindset that is not of God, which fear and unsafety would be. You become what that is and it will leave you stifling for everything else that you’re doing. And so knowing that, okay, this is a potential, this could happen, but not standing in the fact that that could happen, but instead thanking him for it not happening. I love that. It’s just simple. It’s so simple that if we can switch.

Angela:

Yeah. Well, you said something really important. You said when you step into that space, you are stepping into it. You’re choosing to experience fear and to experience whatever that negative emotion is because your emotion comes from your thoughts, which are 100% optional and chosen by you. The only thing that is not as your circumstances, but how you think about those circumstances and ultimately how you feel. That’s all a choice. And I can choose to think one thing and be a victim, or I can choose to think another thing and say, you know what? I’m sick of feeling this way. Today I’m going to be strong and I’m going to step into my power and say, no, not today. I want something different. I want to feel differently and I want to set a better example for my daughter and my husband and everyone around me because I have that choice.

Tamra:

Yea, absolutely. And how powerful is that?

Angela:

Incredible. It was such a light bulb moment for me that, wow. I chose that. All of that crap I was feeling the crying fits and the panic and I chose that. It was my thoughts that I chose.

Tamra:

So good. It’s so true and it really is, and it’s a matter of perspective because you can watch two people going through the same thing and based on how they choose to perceive the same thing, there living two different lives. And you’re like, Oh no. What happened to that person? What happened to that person? And they’re like, how did that person do that? It was a mindset. It was perspective. It was the choice that they woke up with every day and they said, today I’m going to step this way, and little by little, little by little, they went from the same point to two opposite ends. Healthy and not healthy.

Angela:

Yeah. I just had this conversation with my husband like two days ago. I was like, Hey, do you believe in karma? And it kind of shifted into, you know, good karma versus bad karma and how it’s all perception. I said, look at my life. I could look at my life and say, Oh my God, what karma God did I piss off? Or I could look at my life and say, wow, look what I went through to polish and shine me into this person I am today so I can carry this and help other women and that’s fabulous. And I can choose to look at all that stuff as “Oh, that’s pretty good karma”. I was chosen to go through that boot camp so I could do this awesome job.

Tamra:

Yeah. I love boot camp. I’ve never heard it phrased in that way.

Angela:

You know I’m a Veteran.

 

Tamra:

Yeah, no, that’s true. Okay. So that makes a difference. But, and you would actually through Bootcamp, cause I’m thinking of like burn boot camp and I’m like, I don’t like to do some of the exercises that they make, but that’s a totally different thing as a veteran.

Angela:

Yeah. I got to go through the gas chamber twice.

Tamra:

Oh wow.

Angela:

It was Fabulous. perspective perspective

Tamra:

I love it.

Angela:

And it just yeah but even, you know your sailors going through Bootcamp, it’s like, Oh this sucks. This is awful. Yeah, but look what it’s preparing you for. Like, look at what you get to do. You get to go sail a sail the seven seas and go see all these countries and serve your country and wear this awesome uniform. And like there’s so much pride and amazingness involved in it. Like how could you ever complain about something as silly and stupid and as short term as Bootcamp?

Tamra:

So good.

Angela:

And I look at my life like that and I’m like, Oh my gosh, that was such a short term thing. Like, how could I dare complain about that? Like acknowledge it, feel it, get through it, but don’t lean on it. And people just want to swim in it till their fingers get all pruney.

Tamra:

Yes. And that’s a big thing and I’ve seen it currently with a lot of people in my life is that concept of like here you are and you are acknowledging that this is how you’re feeling. You do know that portions of that are choices because I feel like some people think that it’s not a choice, it’s just an overcome. What would you do for somebody who can’t see as easily as the mindset shift or the perspective change or the, you’re choosing to feel that way? What do you do?

Angela:

I haven’t had a lot of people who come when someone comes to me and they want to work with me, typically it’s because they understand what they’re going to go through and they know there’s work involved. So I’ve yet to come across somebody who is just dead set on, I’m going to be stuck in this. Usually, I can hear that when I’m having my initial calls with them and just be like, it doesn’t sound like we’re going to be a fit because they’re already fighting and you know if you’re coming with an open heart and an open mind and you know that there is going to be some mindset work.

And we’re going to work on what is broken and like your story is great. That’s wonderful. I don’t care about your past. I don’t, I want to know where you are right now and how I can move you forward because we’re not going to focus on the past. Like the past is what got you here and this is not a good place. So it was as little as we can focus on that. Then that’s, you know, where are you? Do you want to be there? How committed are you to being here because you just paid me to help you. Why are you wasting your money if you don’t want to do the work?

Tamra:

Yeah. I love that. I love that. I started this off with like, she’s so peaceful and now I’m hearing you like, Oh yeah, there’s the tire claws. Come on. I mean, people need that. Because I mean we were, I was just sitting at lunch earlier with a friend and she was talking about how women often, and not every woman, but we at the table were talking about how we’re fixers and like when somebody comes broken like we want to fix it.

And yet we know that we’re in connection with the one who heals and the one who fixes and the one who restores. And yet we still sometimes pick up our broken mess and we are like, let me build this Lego tower because I can do it. I know how to do it. I know where it goes. And yet it falls apart because the foundation isn’t there.

And so I love that you’re willing to just be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t put the effort in for that because that’s not gonna work. And so people I know, I’m like literally thinking of people in my head right now. You will get their information before you leave today. I want these women and men, there are so many men that are broken in the same vein, but I know your heart is for women is get out of the muck and the mire. It is possible. It’s quicksand and it will suck you in, but you have the ability just like in the movies when they’re like, Oh, it’s quicksand. Oh, wait, a mindset shift. It’s not really quicksand, it’s something else because it’s imaginary. So let’s step out of it. And so we have that ability and it’s just incredible that God gifts us the, he gives us the freedom of freewill to choose even still knowing that he wants us to be in that space of whole. He wants us to be in that space of alignment and balance and self-worth and self-identity. Yet he’ll let us rest there so that when we get to the other side, there’s that much more gratitude. There’s that much more peace. There’s that much more joy.

And so I love that you’re going to be somebody to kick somebody in the butt and be like, let’s get there right now. But I also love that God is with you in that because it’s been such like a God-ordained ministry that you’ve created and the timing and the everything that has aligned the way that it has.

Angela:

It makes no sense.

Tamra:

It makes no sense, It doesn’t. I mean, I’m on the other end receiving everything and I’m like, this is incredible. How did this happen? But it’s just beautiful and I’m just thankful to be alongside you to watch it unfold and knowing that the plethora of women that are going to be healed and are healed consistently for free. Remember the Facebook group. That’s amazing. I just, I’m grateful that you are stewarding what God has gifted you. Even through the Bootcamp.

Angela:

Thank you.

Tamra:

Yeah, I am grateful for that and I’m excited to see where it goes.

Angela:

Yeah. And it’s funny you mentioned therapy because I was starting to think back to like, I even had some really awful therapists and I had one tell me, Oh, you’re not an alcoholic, you’re just in grief. I’m like, Oh wow.

Tamra:

See. They’re covering it up. It’s just like, I don’t get that.

Angela:

I was speechless. Like I almost fell off the couch. I’m like, I cannot believe you just said this to me. This will be my last session with you. Thank you.

Tamra:

Well, it’s interesting cause the same, it wasn’t alcohol for me but it was a similar thing. Where she validated my horrible response to pressure and negativity and pointed the fingers away from me and just as you said, it is not about them. You can point your fingers all day long, you will be in the same place, but until you point your fingers inward and you say, Oh, what’s going on here? And you start pulling those things out of you, you’re never going to get better. And it’s the same thing with grief and grief for me, and I wanted to ask this, I was thinking about earlier, so I’m glad we are still talking.

I feel like I’m in the process of grieving somebody who is still alive. And it is way different because I have lost a lot of people close to me and I’ve worked through that grief in a much easier process than it has been for me to grieve people that I’ve had to let go of that I genuinely love so much but they’re not healthy for me. And that’s a hard thing for people to do. I’m experiencing that right now. It’s hard.

Angela:

I’ve been through that. And I lost two women who I had been friends with for over a decade. Yeah. And the same situation. It was, and I feel like I sound selfish when I say this, but it wasn’t serving me. Yeah. And I started to evaluate those friendships. And again, it’s a mindset shift and you start to look, okay, yeah, I miss X, Y, and Z, but here’s what I don’t miss. And here is how this fed this unhealthy thing in me and here is how this fed this unhealthy thing in me. And this was not bringing me to a better place was dragging me deeper. And that’s part of the eight-week overcoming overwhelm as we evaluate every aspect of your life, what friendships, and relationships and people you’re surrounding yourself with. They say you are a combination of the five people you spend the most time with. And you know there’s a, a billionaire who’s I’m not going to say his name cause he’s horrible in profanity, but one of my favorite lines and he’s a great coach, just very crude was “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”.

Tamra:

Mmm, that’s good.

Angela:

And as soon as I heard that, I was like, Oh my sweet Jesus. Thank you for taking these things out of my path. So the right things could come in.

Tamra:

Yeah. That is so good. And I’ve actually seen it happen. I’ve seen that transfer of, I’ll provide you with that. I’ll fulfill that need I’ll fulfill that void. Probably similar to how it was fulfilled in some capacity with your dad. And whether it was a man of earthly figure or God the father, like I know that he doesn’t want his daughters void of anything. Like that was never his intention. So that’s good. I love that. Thank you I feel whole already. It’s so good…Check! mission accomplished.

Angela:

Another thing I want to touch on is because this is a thing that a lot of people don’t think about is what your diet is. And I’m not just talking about what you put in your mouth, but that has a huge effect on how you feel. And if you’re feeding your body with a lot of grains and sugars, you’re killing yourself and you’re causing a lot of inflammation. And I could go on and on and on for hours, but I’m not going to hear. You can look at the videos on my Facebook group.

Tamra:

Yes. I love it.

Angela:

But when I say diet, I mean in a holistic sense of, you know, back to your friends. Who are you listening to? What are they feeding into you? You know, what movies are you watching and what podcasts are you listening to? What music are you listening to? I was, I was talking to this, this young man who was dealing with some depression online and this was before I looked at his face with page and I went to his Facebook page and it was all death and destruction and like lots of like death metal and lots of like really really bloody video games. And I’m just like, I went right back to him. I was like…….

Tamra:

You didn’t tell me about this.

Angela:

Let’s talk about your depression again. Cause I think I have a cure for you. Like, stop this. And people just feed themselves with these negative influences and the horror films and if you’re familiar with what an empath is…..

Tamra:

I don’t think so.

Angela:

So an empathic person is somebody and you would know if you were one. Its somebody who feels things like 10 times more than anybody else. And you know, energy is a real thing. And when someone comes into the room and they’ve got the wrong energy, you just feel it and you’re just like, I don’t know what’s wrong but this person has to leave my house. And you know, pay attention to those feelings and that like, it’s almost like a queasiness when somebody comes around you. And you know, really like when I say protect like I can’t say protect your energy enough. Because you are doing yourself such an injustice if you’re not protecting yourself.

Tamra:

It is really good. It’s interesting because you know, as Christians you hear the concept of energy and you hear the shock grub and all of those things. And I have a friend who’s going through a shock grub kind of femininity exploration right now through a class that she’s taking for a year. And I was questioned like, is that Christian based? And I said I am actually not sure that it’s not or is Christian race. I think that there’s a spiritual sense to it and it immediately turned this person off. And I think that there’s so much to be said for that. And like our body is an energy system. God created our body, God created energy and therefore why would you ignore something seemingly different than what you imagine your prayer life to be?

If you can comprehend more in tune and more in-depth with deeper portions of our being, why would you not do that? In my understanding.

Angela:

And like you said, there is so much about the world that we don’t know and there are a ton of documented studies, on energies that people give off. And I’m a firm believer and there are energy sources and you’re either giving off positive energy, you’re giving off negative energy, but you can tell when somebody comes into a room and you just feel that like tightening. That’s what you’re experiencing is, is their energy shift. And you know, when the oxygen just goes right out of the room. But like you, I think there’s still so much to learn about it. But, you know, I think we need to get away from, Oh, if it’s not in the Bible, I don’t believe it. Because how long ago was that written and how much stuff are we, are we learning every day? And you know, there’s a lot of science-based things are around those types of things. And I say, you know what, if it doesn’t feel good in your gut, then fine. Put it aside. But if you want to research it more and learn more about it, I mean, I think there’s, it’s at least worth a look.

Tamra:

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And I’m not saying to put the Bible away. I don’t think that’s the intent at all. It’s to merge what he’s giving us as a science-based, you know, exponential learning, technological set, technologically advancing society. So there are things about society that are horrible, in the speed and the energy that we are shifting. But at the same time, there are advancements. I mean, we wouldn’t be here sitting live talking to potentially anyone in the entire world at one time sharing the good news, sharing the fact that there is even a Lord and savior that they have an abundantly assessable option to if the technology wasn’t here.

Angela:

And who but a very small portion of the world understands how any of that works.

Tamra:

No. Right. And so I had just don’t think that we should dismiss something that is new and it’s honestly not new. It dates back way before even the Bible, if you actually go into what it’s for. Someone the other day I mentioned that for the women’s retreat that I have coming up in October, that there would be yoga, that there will be flow and they were like, Oh, yoga is not biblical. I’m like, Oh, come on. Are we really going to fight that battle right now? I’m like, that’s not what I mean, we’re not doing him hymnals of a Yogi experience. There will be a dedication and there will be all of the things, the meditation component, but we’re meditating on like the word of God. We’re meditating on his ability to provide peace, his comfort like we need, there’s just so much more and I just feel like people are closed minded and it’s sad and it’s unfortunate, but there are the people that are going to have the ability to say, I require something more. I’m missing whatever it is that you have.

And  I hear it all the time. Why aren’t you this way? And I feel like it’s a similar way. Why are you so peaceful? All of us have those energies. We all have those vibes. And so to be authentic in them and honest with ourselves, at the end of the day, what did about me could I be better at? And there’s definitely that. We’re not perfect. We’re imperfect humans. Even Christians were probably the most imperfect because we are aware of what perfection is, right?

Angela:

And we still keep doing the same messed up stuff.

Tamra:

Right. So we are vindicated but we are saved and so, its so good. But I feel like that’s, that was a key piece for you to share that there are innate things within us and people understand, you know. You have the little cartoon, I’m imagining the little angel on one side and the devil on the other side and they’re like, Oh, that’s just a cartoon.

That’s not like a real, no, your conscious is aligned to the Lord because you are a daughter or a son, whether you like to believe it or not. So you know, when something is wrong and you know when something is right and that is because of what innately is within us of that good versus evil. And yet we allow our children to have access to technology and why my son is drawn towards shooting and fighting and all of the things. And it drives me bananas. And I know there’s supposedly some innate-like masculine diagnosis of their protectors and hunters and gatherers and all those things.

Angela:

I’m literally biting my tongue, right now.

Tamra:

Well, my son is not going to sit in front of that. And he gets so mad at me. But it’s not bad. It’s a Lego fighting game. I’m like, it’s still fighting buddy. I don’t need you to do that. There are so many other things. If you want to do Legos, I’m all for Lego. So you can build all day long. I will buy the app that you can build the coolest Lego Fort tower or whatever it is. But there’s not going to be that. It’s so unfortunate.

Angela:

So two things. I’m just going to make a quick plug for one of my favorite books. The female brain. And it talks about the vast differences between men and women and how in utero the men’s brains, I think like, once the male body has identified, the brain part of communication and affection shrinks and sexuality and aggression grow.

Tamra:

Interesting.

Angela:

And it’s like documented scientific like this is a definite difference between men and women. And there are so many like illuminating points in this book.

Like, I wish every woman would read the female brain. Amazing. The other piece would be the Lego thing. I’m totally on your side with that because I firmly believe in X breeds X. And if you’re taking in aggression, you’re expelling aggression. You know what you put out into the universe or what you take into yourself, it’s going to multiply. It’s going to grow. And when you put out negativity, you’re writing negativity. You’re, you’re speaking of negativity, you’re texting negativity or you’re watching something aggressive or something violent. It’s going to grow. It’s going to breed and it’s going to fester and it’s going to cause chaos and strife and your life. And that’s one of the reasons that I push gratitude journaling so much with my clients because I don’t want you to journal what happened to you.

I don’t want one negative word to go down on that paper, because negativity breeds negativity. We’re writing down nothing but gratitude and positivity.

Tamra:

Yeah. I think I thought of as you’re saying the experts X and all of that again, cause we had talked about safe house earlier was that the Game of Thrones and how when we were having that conversation around safe house, that the game of Thrones like stopped the soft-porn industry by like 15% consumption when it came out and it maintains that. And when it goes off, you see the influx in the soft-porn industry, which is fueling the sex trafficking industry because X breaths X and eventually it’ll grow. So these people who think that like watching this and if you’re a Game of Thrones love like, I apologize in advance. But this is just how I feel from my personal experience is that it’s breeding more than you think it is.

And if you walk into a room and you were to see the sex scene on, or the rape scene on and you didn’t know the context of it, what do you think that person is watching? Probably pornography. And you’re going, Whoa, Whoa. Would you let your child watch that with you? Definitely not. And so if their feeble brain can’t handle it, what do you think you’re any better? Why do you think you’re any more grown? Like we’re not masterminds of our subconscious to say that we’re strong enough, I can watch this and nothing more will come of it. Well, more is coming of it because now it’s leading to I want more Game of Thrones is over, heaven forbid. Where are these people turning for their soft porn?

Angela:

Oh, when is the prequel?

Tamra:

Right. So it’s just you really, I love the word diet and I love that it’s so much more than what we feed our stomach. It is everything from what you put on your body, what you clean your house with to what you fuel your mind with and your eyes are seeing consistently. I had to completely if you will detox my social media, I had to take away any person that was posting, even if they were women that were just like kind of promiscuity of any sort. And I had to like, reclaim my visual sense as I scroll because we’re all guilty of it and I didn’t want to see that. I don’t need to see your thong. I don’t need to see your cleavage. I don’t, and I’m not saying that I don’t wear a skimpy bathing suit when I’m with my husband on vacation. That’s not the point. It’s just the way that you’re doing it and the way that you’re promoting your femininity.

And I have a friend, same friend that I was talking about earlier, yours truly portraiture, I will tag her and pluck her. Here she is, she’s a new friend and she does boudoir photography. And when the first thing that came into my mind when she said that was “Hrr Skii” like turn. And at the very same time, I saw this tattoo across her collarbone and it said you are worthy. And so I, you know, my brain is counteracting, I’m like, hold on, this needs this. Tell me more. And so I just was open. I was present in the moment and I wanted to hear more. And I’m like, tell me more about this and how that meets what you’re doing.

Angela:

But let me stop you for a second. Because what a Testament to your open-mindedness and your grace and your love and your willingness to accept that there might be a different answer because how many people would look at that and say, no, I’m done no matter what I’m done.  And that is like, I just wish so many more women can get to that space, can stop the judgment and realize that there could be another side.

Tamra:

Well, I think the biggest thing is because I’ve felt judged. I am on that other side. I often, I’ve had friends literally unfriend me and quote-unquote unfollow, but I mean literally like what you said, like sever ties, because of my choice to be open about my faith and I won’t do that. It’s just like when you see somebody, we have a friend who is completely head to toe tatted his whole head is tatted and across the back of his bald scalp, it says ‘chief sinner’. And I can only imagine what people think when they see him, especially the Christian, right? The little see Christian they’re like, Oh my gracious, turn your head,  your sweet little eyes can’t see such a thing. And yet he runs a homeless ministry. And he saves lives of people who are completely condemned and completely judged and thinking that they’re thrown out as trash.

And so that moment was just, I’m thankful for you to say that because we need more of it. Because it opens the opportunity for connection. And at the end of the day, like that’s what we’re all looking for is connection and cause we don’t want to be alone. We don’t want to feel all of the feelings that we feel by ourselves. And so she ended up opening up about the fact that she had a lot of body image issues and was struggling with obesity and eating disorders and all of these things. And yet at the very same time, she felt this desire through her portraiture to claim women’s beauty to who God sees you as.

And that these photos aren’t intended to go viral on the internet and create more into the soft-porn industry, but instead to be coveted as the fact that you are loved and you are beautiful just the way you are in the skin that you’re in. And it wasn’t about the thong, it wasn’t about that. It was done so beautifully so tastefully. I’ve got on her social media, I’m like, Oh my gosh, this is stunning work. And now she’s taken it to the next level where she’s hosting retreats to take the beauty and the time that these women are feeling. They lose it almost instantly afterward because it’s a fleeting experience. Right? And so she’s like, how then God, God continued to push her and say, there’s more. There’s more than just the picture. Let’s go deeper. And so she’s about to host her second retreat where these women are having like transformational experiences of truly owning the skin that they’re in.

And so however it is that you walk around, it’s the way that you hold yourself. And I love it like, from the moment I’ve met you. You’ve held yourself as a woman. And I love that. And I don’t think like, I don’t even have to see what you’re wearing. I just feel like this, this essence of womanhood. And so it’s a beautiful thing. And like I said, I’m just grateful to walk it out with you.

Angela:

You’re just like bathing me so much love today.

Tamra:

As you deserve.

Angela:

Thank you

Tamra:

You bathe people every day, I know with what you do. So I’m grateful. I hope today that people just had a sense of aha. And a sense of release from things that they’ve been carrying. Cause even the little nuggets that you were passing along and like note taken. So thank you. Yeah, of course. Would you like to close today in prayer and just

Angela:

Absolutely.

Tamra:

Fabulous. Thank you

Angela:

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this opportunity to sit across from Tamra and to be on this podcast. And I hope that somewhere someone has been touched. And I thank you, father, that my words and this experience has reached the right women and will reach the right women and that they see your hand in everything that is said today Father and I thank you so much for both the life journeys of myself and Tamra and that we just thank you, father, so much for the awesome really burden that you have placed upon us and guiding and shepherding these women through experiences and things that, that we’ve been through before. And that you’ve empowered us to really work in your name and you allow yourself to work through us.

And, and father, I just want to pass this over to Tamra or because I am so overwhelmed that my words are just not coming out as, as I would like them to.

Tamra:

They are beautifully spoken, God and we just thank you. We just thank you that you are good. You are good all the time, even in the midst of our grief or overwhelmed. God that you can make yourself known in all the small ways throughout our days, God, that we would just focus on those God that would, you would give us the capacity even in the midst of the hurting Lord, to see you and to feel you and to hear you and to know you. God, I thank you so much for this precious time and my precious new friend in your wonderful Gloria full name, we will pray. Amen.

Angela:

Amen.

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