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Ope’ Excuse Me While I Wait: Discovering Yourself Outside of Your Family – With Kenzie Byrd

Ya’ll are gonna love this episode, it left me full as a tick.

Ok, but seriously, if this is your first time tuning in that’s not my typical lingo or accent, but it only felt natural after spending the time in Indiana for my first traveling Podcast episode. This was a place of many childhood fond memories and when I knew I was headed there, I had to pack the mic and get one of my most favorite people in the world on the other end for your listening pleasure.

family

Kenzie is a gem. As she shares you’ll snag a sense of her incredible humor, you’ll enjoy her sweet authenticity and her humility.

She’s also kind of a bad ass. I know, I’m not sure that’s Jesus lingo, but he understands my heart when I say this. She’s a country girl in city heels. Guys, she has her own bear and antlers in her house alongside a killer wardrobe. (Wait, that wasn’t intended to be a pun, of course she has her hunting gear, but I was referring to her fashionista sense). And for those tuning in that are anti guns or a part of PETA or something like that…stop judging and hear a sister out. This isn’t a political bias and She may teach you a thing of two.

Having the pleasure of walking life out with people who are in different than you, in different seasons of life, with different hobbies, different view points, etc. gives you perspective but more importantly it gives you grounding to stand more firmly on your own two feet  while simultaneously giving others freedom to be themselves, even if they are family!

Kenzie and I are on different pages of our stories. Sometimes I feel like I’m chapters ahead, but other times her wisdom trumps me. I hope today you catch some of that wisdom for yourself.

Connect with her here:

Personal:

https://www.facebook.com/kenzie.m.byrd

FULL SHOW NOTES:

Tamra::

We are so excited to be here. I specifically am because I am not in my own home. We are at Kensey’s home all the way in New Albany, Indiana.

Kenzie:

We are actually in the middle of a cornfield. You can’t see that.

Tamra:

No, no. Cause we’re in Indiana and so this is our first podcast, not in the podcast room. And I am really excited if we have any technical difficulties that will be why. So please forgive us. But I couldn’t miss this opportunity to just first get you behind a mic cause I feel like you’re just made for mic in some way. Maybe one day your own podcasts will emerge. But Kenzie is my second cousin or third cousin…….

Kenzie:

Third cousin

Tamra:

This seems really distant, but we’re actually pretty close because we’ve had the opportunity to come together every summer since I remember so probably before you were born and really just grow our relationship. But it’s been really neat whereas we’ve emerged and grown together as into our adult lives that it’s not on the terms of our parents, that it’s on the terms of us really wanting to still stay connected. She came and visited for like a week when my second born was just a newborn at that point. And so just to have you like around and present, I think your lightheartedness is what will kind of exude through the podcast. And I’m excited for people to see that about you cause you’re a fond fond fan of Gary and me.

Kenzie:

I am. Well, I’m a fan of yours and he might be a fan of mine.

Tamra:

I’m a fan of yours so sure a fan of yours. So Kinsey Byrd, everyone,

Kenzie:

This is me. Hello. Welcome to my home.

Tamra:

I know it’s a really big undertaking to say introduce yourself.

It can be an elevator pitch. Have you heard of an elevator pitch before? So it’s like you have 30 seconds, you’re walking into an elevator and it’s like, we’re not going to say it’s your boss because that would be a whole nother pitch. It’s going to be like your new BFF and you’re like, Oh my gosh, this is my new BFF. Let me tell you something about me. So go. So go right now.

Kenzie:

First of all, I’ve never been on Instagram Live or Facebook Live or a podcast. So this is like, a track (inaudible 5:11-15). So as Tamar said, we’ve been cousins since I can remember since she can remember. Our parents were very close and so they always came here. I came there. So yeah, over the last year we’ve probably gotten closer. Maybe two or three.

Tamra:

Yeah, I would say that.

Kenzie:

Yeah. But this last year has been like (inaudible 5:38) found her faith in new ways. So about me personally. Okay. I guess I could say what I like to do. I’m kind of a type a personality, maybe a little bit and a little high strung in ways, but I’m also really fun-loving. So for fun, I like to hunt with my dad, spend time with family, pour into my niece, hang out with my sister. We’ve been really close probably the last year too, we’ve gotten a lot closer. What else do I do? I like to drive. I do like that long and I love music. If you look through my……. you’d be kind of surprised at the things you’d find. One of my top songs from 2017 or 18 was “how far I’ll go. Milana”.Some weird stuff in there.

 

Tamra:

Do you also have like Gangster rap?

Kenzie:

Yeah. I’ve got some like plenty of Hillsong in there too. Just Everything.

Tamra:

Are you like ……… I’ve got a girlfriend who always has the shirts or the mugs or anything that’s like Tupac and Jesus or Biggie.

Kenzie:

I choose loyalty and for me it’s Biggie. I’m so East coast so yea that’s a little bit about me. I’m just kind of doing my own thing in life right now. I volunteer at church, I’m really enjoying this church I found through some friends, been there probably three or four years, like just off and on. So that’s kinda where I’ve been. I work a lot. I’m a worker.

Tamar:

But that doesn’t also define you, which is really cool. Like some people, I feel like this is my job and this is who I am and it’s your title. For instance, last night meeting people and they’re like, I’m just saying names. Paul, the pilot You’re like, yeah, okay. I’m ever going to have that reference of him. He’ll never move outside of Paul the pilot. And I love that about you.

Kenzie::

I learned about…… I don’t know, probably four or five years ago to stop defining myself using my career. Cause that’s like all I ever did was like just work and that’s who I became, and I thought that it does matter to people, but there’s so much more to an individual and you only work for a certain portion of your life.

Tamra:

Right. And generally speaking, unless you’re really blessed in another capacity, you are doing that job with passion obviously that’s the hope. But your real passions your real persona like comes out in the after-hours of that. And so like I love that you lead with what do I like to do, what are my hobbies? And that’s those like significant of you. And so I’ve like loved that about you. For us to even just if you stopped the bike and like we stopped now take that with you because titles were a huge thing that I walked through. And it was really hard to be, you know, my, “I’m CEO of two companies”, right.

And I didn’t really say CEO. I always would say like the owner or designer. I still use the word creator because I think it’s a really fun place to be. But it doesn’t put you under this umbrella of hierarchy.

Kenzie:

Yeah. It’s not as professional sounding or  I don’t have the word you use.

Tamra:

I will take professional all day long. You can put that on me. Like I’m very professional, but I can get in the sense of like that, especially for my children. So like I’ll leave the house and they’re like, where are you going? And I’m like, I don’t like to say I’m going to work because I don’t want them to think that every time I’m leaving them and it’s against my will. Like I’d love to spend time with you and play Legos and do all of that, but I’m going to create.

And so they’ll know like in the morning, if I’m on the computer for an hour, I’m like, mommy’s creating, this is my creative time. Can you go create something cool too? And it gives them this whole frame of reference on mommies loves what she’s doing. She’s passionate about it and creating is a fun thing versus I’m going to work. And so even….

Kenzie:

Work has just like this negative connotation to it. It just happened over time. But I never thought about that like with kids, how they perceive that this mom is leaving them.

Tamra:

Yeah. And they don’t like it, and I did this whole post the other day about mom guilt. And I had listened to the, well I guess it’s not probably the most recent anymore when this launches, but the most recent Rachel Hollis and Ed Miolet, have you heard of this guy? Oh, you’d love him. He’s like, a hardcore motivational speaker. Faith-based and he started from nothing.

Kenzie:

He and Rachel bugs?

Tamra:

They’re friends. Yea It’s actually her mentor, one of her mentors. She has many mentors, but one specifically that she just really has connected with. And he started from nothing and he was living in his parents’ house and his parents were like, you need to get up. You need to get up and you need to not just sit here like go out. So his dad organized at like a volunteer position for him, he didn’t know it was a volunteer. And so he’s like, I got you a job you need to go show up at this time? And he was like, okay, I guess that’s great. I’ll get money. Cause that was his thing for me,  I can’t find a job.

And we know people like that and it’s exhausting. And you’re like, you can find a job. I saw parties is hiring for their manager. I don’t care what you’re doing. You get out, go do it and find the portion of it that you can be passionate about. And so it’s Hardy’s shore. Do you love people? Do you interact? Well, do you want to grow a revenue stream? Do you want to see finances and learn about it? There are points to every job position. It’s just how your perspective and your mindset is towards it. So he shows up at this place and it’s like a boy’s home and it’s kids who have been either neglected, their parents are incarcerated potentially molested any of that. And this is like a safe house for them, kind of but an opportunity for them to get up on their feet and start.

And so he was at the time in his young twenties and had previously played baseball is a really big professional, like not professional, but what’s the next almost professional minor league.

Kenzie:

Why can’t I think of it…… amateur

Tamra:

Amateur, sure. Ballplayer. And so he had that passion. And so he’s like, okay, I’m here for the job. And they’re like, Mmm, Nope, Nope, we don’t have any positions. And he’s like, Nope. My dad said I’m coming in for a job. And he’s like, do you have a name? Like, who told you that? Because we’re not hiring. And he’s like, well, you know, finally name drops. And he said, Oh, come on, I’ll show you what you’re up to. And the guy’s like, okay. And so he’s like, these are your kids. So it was 10 boys that he got introduced to and ended up having this amazing like life-altering experience where he went from, “I’m not making any money, what in the world and my dad get me into too” to I can actually affect change.

And I just love that it’s just all about mindset and heart set and heart placement. Obviously, if you’re going in and you’re broken, which it sounded like he kind of was, you then have this comparison of, Oh, I’m not as bad off and not to say we should live our lives in comparison, but we’re Americans. We just celebrated July 4th. We live in a free land of independence and wealth and so many things right at our fingertips. But it ended up going into this whole conversation and this is where we started with mom guilt. And he was sharing with Rachel Hollis about how we need to change our perspective on mom guilt that our children only have us as an example. And you said it earlier today, like about your sister, about how she sets that for her daughter.

And like she’s the example and so all you really know, so it’s how you speak and how you share. But they’re all that they’re going to know about work, right. Is how I perceive work. I came home from work every single day. I’m like, Oh, this person, this person, and I’m talking about the trials and tribulations and then I need a wine. That’s a whole nother conversation. And then I’m having a glass of wine again.

They’re going to be like, Oh, why would I ever want to get a job? Why I’m 16 I don’t want a job. You make it sound horrible. So creating for me, and then Gary with his HVAC company, he helps people. So that’s his terminologies. I’m going to help people today.

Kenzie:

That’s awesome. Okay.

Tamra:

So if you’re going to work, what do you do? What would you say you’re…..

Kenzie:

Maybe I’m connecting.

Tamra::

Ooh, that’s a good word. Yeah, that’s a really good word.

Kenzie:

It’s like as an account manager, I act as a point of contact. I think of myself as like an octopus almost becomes different arms. Cause when the customer comes to me with whatever’s going on and then I reach out to quality or I reach out to our traffic shipping department, I reach out to engineering cooler. So yeah

Tamra:

I love that connecting. Well, I love that because it also plays into your like family and even friend life because I feel like you’re constantly like, Oh, you would like this person, you look like this persons

Kenzie:

That’s one of my favorite thing to do is “you will love this”. Yeah.

Tamra:

Yeah. I love that.  And then also now as you’ve experienced, and you kind of touched base on it from your faith perspective of your specific volunteering and your churches around like kiddos, right? When I say kids it’s like high school

Kenzie:

High school. So some middle school, but I’m generally with high school.

Tamra:

Okay. So that is on a whole other level of like what a huge obligation for vertical connection to like, “Hey, let me introduce you to your father”. Like that’s huge. But you (inaudible 14:52). I know you enough to know that it’s not in a serious manner at all. So share with me like how do you approach that from your persona? Because I think so many people think that religion they think of religion is so serious. And I don’t like to use the word religion because Christianity like I believe God has a sense of humor. Oh, I feel like, I believe he is lighthearted and fun and he wants that relationship. And I feel like you’re such an example of that.

Kenzie::

So how do I connect that? Connect the kids with that?

Tamra:

Yeah.

Kenzie:

Well, so we have like we meet as a big group. We have like mini-series. So Corey, our youth pastor generally leads those. And then we have like a group me where we discuss as leaders the questions we might ask the students later. But as I said earlier, I’m really type A, I like to follow that. But I’ve been encouraged more to just have just conversation. So we take as much structure out of it as we can. Because they have that all day, right? They wake up in the morning and they may or may not live in a structured household and then they go to school and their structure and then maybe they have a sport and they’re structured with that.

So this is just like a safe place to come and hang out and just debrief and get a really positive adult interaction because they don’t, always get that. For many of our students, It’s negative. So that’s kind of how like Corey really helped change my mindset with that. It’s just a chat with them. I’m like I can do that. I was taking it too seriously and he knew that he was like, Hey girl, chill. Yeah.

Tamra:

So well because you feel like it’s such a, it’s a big responsibility. And you’re like, just the conversation that we had yesterday.  You’re like I am the person that they’re coming to, they’re unleashing all of this depth of information and the depth that kids now experience even as early as elementary school and middle school. And you’re dealing with high schoolers so it’s heavy. Like this stuff is heavy. I don’t remember dealing, as I dealt with heavy stuff. I remember walking through some pretty hard things in high school, but like now, we were specifically talking around like sexual identity and you know, how they approach relationships and love and comprehending that. And then, generally speaking, pretty absent parents. So I get wanting to approach it in that way. But what a release to be like

Kenzie:

To just be there, just be a listening ear. So I pull some Bernay Brown into that. But so yeah, we just kinda hang out and talk and chat. So we do a high low, which was really fun. Every week we do a high low.

Tamra:

We did that at the dinner table with the kids. So like at dinner we’ll sit around and it’s like, tell me your high of the day, tell me your low today. Coopers are pretty comical. Sometimes we don’t get past the low, but it’s hilarious.

Kenzie:

Well, they’ve also decided to start doing that and like a high voice in a low voice, so the extra day comedy, but it’s really fun. You know, sometimes they’re low is you know, maybe that a family pet passed.

Tamra:

Which is a low. Sure

Kenzie:

But then other times there’s so much deeper and they’re layers deeper and it really, the high, low, we’ve really kind of let that set the mood for the rest of the show.

Tamra:

That’s a great dictator of like, okay, let’s go this way, let’s go this way and talk about not having structure. Sometimes it could be that’s the lowest of low. And then some days it’s, you know, my parents are getting divorced or, yeah, I’m sure.

Kenzie:

But yeah, that’s probably the hardest part too, is just remaining like don’t cry. I’ve cried before of course, but like being strong for them and receiving all that information. Some of it you’re not expecting, but receiving it and being graceful with that is like, it can be a lot, but it’s fun. I mean, and kind of like you were saying with what was that guy’s name?

Rachel Hollis and……

Tamra:

Oh, and  Ed Miolet.

Kenzie:

It makes it kind of like you were saying with ed and those boys like he probably found that he needed them just as much as they, It’s a full circle.

Tamra:

Well, it was life-changing. Because then people wanted to see like as he transformed, he became such a coach to them in such like a life coach concept before life coaching because he’s late forties. I don’t want to age him, sorry ed if you’re listening.

But you know, he then became like a professional sports coach in the sense of like a life coaching to these people. He has done like senators and like huge people in the government and famous people and actors and actresses. And so he has really just like changed his entire mindset in life to be able to shift it into how can I help you get out of this negative cycle. So I mean those boys, oops, those boys like changed his entire life and still do, like he goes back now, I mean once you have like a heart for some of the kids it’s really hard to like completely get away from that. Because as we were talking about childlike faith, like you, it’s something you yearned for.

Kenzie:

You always chase it.

Tamra:

Yeah. Yeah. No matter what age you are. So explain, so that’s kinda your faith journey. But tell me like personally, as you said, you come into this just a couple of years ago where you and I really connected, which was, you know, simultaneously I was kind of like three years and then had emerged since then. But like tell me about that, cause you grew up in a Christian home.

Kenzie:

I did.

Tamra:

And Christian school. So walk us through that, because I know that that sometimes can derail people.

Kenzie::

It can. So I went to a private Christian school from kindergarten on, so K through 12. So that’s, I was in preschool I guess. So that’s 14 years of a private school where like I’ve heard the story of like Jonah and the whales. I’ve heard the crucifixion story like,

Tamra:

Yeah, sure. But every which way.

Kenzie:

Yeah. But it’s been neat to well, I’ll get back to that. So yeah, I started in a Christian school and I had just 34 or 35 that I graduated with, which is like tiny, but so all through high school, I wanted to go to New Albany, which was like the big local high school. My parents were like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And my parents actually went through a very extreme, unexpected financial struggle when I was in like fifth grade. And my mom really wanted to pull us from the school and use that money for other resources.

And dad was like, Nope, not happening. My girls are going, you know, so

Tamra:

He didn’t go to Christian school tho did he? and neither did she?

Kenzie:

No.

Tamra:

Okay. They just wanted to protect you.

Kenzie:

Yeah.

Tamra:

Okay. I got it.

Kenzie:

So as an adult now and looking back at that, the sacrifices that they made for that, I’m going to cry, but it’s like, it’s super special. Which is funny cause I’m so appreciative now. I don’t know if they’re listening. It might be too soon to say this, but I’m so glad they sent me to the school I did because of the relationships I built. So Elise, who you met the other night was, I’ve known her since kindergarten. It’s a really neat thing. So she moves away and came back. But yeah, so I did do the whole like rebellious teenager thing. You know, I hate this school. I hate people. I hate wearing uniforms. I got a detention today because my shirt wasn’t tucked, you know. Really silly things. But so probably like my senior year is when it really kinda hit me like, Oh, these are my family. These people I’ve known for 13-14 years and its really special.

So I went to a private Christian school and so like learning about the Bible was work, right. Homework. But so it was never really our choice and that’s why it’s so special to me to help with (inaudible 23:20). Because most of these kids in high school, they choose to be there, which is just amazing because I was forced to go. And for the right reason of course. But so that’s been a really rewarding thing was just them just wanting to be there and spend on time with one another and learning about Jesus. So yeah, got out of high school, kind of wanted to go away to school, kind of didn’t want the debt. So I stayed at a local community college and did the college thing, I would go to IEU, I would go to visit. Many of my friends went to ISU, Indiana state university and they call it the terrible hope. Terre Haute. It’s really just a crap hole.

Tamra:

Oh, I didn’t know that. Okay

Kenzie:

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I’ll go there though. And it wasn’t really until, so I took a break because I was no longer, it was no longer a requirement of me and the church really when I started driving, my parents were like, do what you want. We can’t make you. So I would go to church, but I would hang out in the parking lot or I would go to the coffee shop or go to Puerto Vallarta instead. So yeah I kinda quit going to church. I’ve lost sight. But then, you know, when there was a hard time right, you start praying but then everything’s fine again and then, Oh no, I’m in another Valley I need to pray about it. So I would attribute my current relationship and church with many of my friends who influence me. So those same friends or from high school or from elementary school were going to a local church. And I was like, Oh, they kind of do pretty things there. I’m like, so the church I go to, it’s amazing. They started Catholic, they were a Catholic church. And then they just saw the light and they’re like, wait (inaudible 25:23)  And not that. It’s just like they did a complete 180.

Tamra:

Wow. That’s amazing. Same pastor?

Kenzie:

Same family.

Tamra:

Okay. Wow, that’s amazing.

Kenzie::

Pastor Darrell, his son is now the preacher. But so yeah, that’s a neat thing.

Tamra:

That’s a really neat thing, that’s a cool thing to know

Kenzie:

So our history, we have like a class like a newcomer kind of class and they cover that in it.  I went to that class way too late. I was like three years in, I was like hey, how come I don’t know about this?  I went and they were like, why are you even here? I’m like, you said free lunch right. (inaudible 26:03)

Tamra:

That’s awesome.

Kenzie:

But yeah, many of my friends were going to the episode and I thought, you know, I’ll just go here and there and they would invite me. And then so outside of the church, I was friends with the pastor Corey cause we’re all in the same friend group play volleyball, we’ll get together. So that’s kind of what, what happened there.

Tamra:

So, so interesting. You just had your high school, like I’m going to go to a youth group experience. What you’re experiencing with these kids, like just mid-twenties. You’re like, I guess this is like a social thing. We’ll get breakfast after lunch after. And I love that Like what draws people in general, is a relationship and then you get to meet and understand the ultimate relationship. But if it wasn’t for that connection point, which I think at the end of the day that’s what we all want, right? Is that sense of relationship and that sense of I’m not alone. And if you’re going and you’re seeking out this and then knowing it is a positive experience. First for the most part. Twisting your leg or like, yeah, severing anything when you’re there.

Kenzie:

I mean here and there I get like if we’re going to the Lake or I’ve got weddings or family in town with these different things that I’m like missing church, those friends will reach out and be like, Hey miss you this week. See you soon. And like, yeah, we’re really just a close group of friends. They hold me accountable. They are amazing. I’m really lucky to have all of that.

Tamra:

I think accountability is a huge portion of our faith. And while a lot of people have that individual experience, if you don’t have that accountability anything, I mean, the enemy is so strong, he has so much like play in our lives on a consistent basis because you’re sitting here or looking outside of your window right now, but like, you’ve got all of these neighbors who are not doing what you would hope that one would do. And it’s really easy to say, Oh, just come and do this. Just come do this. Because I think people have this estrange thought of the enemy that they’re like literally the devil. And you’re like, this looks, I mean, they’re scaring. Let’s go to the dark side today. It’s not like that.

Kenzie:

No, It’s very, it’s a welcoming thing.

Tamra:

Yeah.

Kenzie:

Temptation thing. I mean, even the garden it’s like hey look at this

Tamra:

Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. Right. And so it’s conniving in that way and you don’t realize, and there’s like the people who aren’t watching are gonna be able to see this. But it’s like a triangular view. If you’re starting at the point, everyone’s right here at the point, like upon birth upon, let’s just say you’re mid 20 on that mid-twenties. That’s a whole nother you’re way over here. Usually right at this beginning point and if you just take one little step in this triangular way, one way is over a mug upside, one way on the other side, whatever you want to call it. You at one point are so far away from where you were intended to be. That hopping over to get to that other space in that triangle is a really hard thing to do. And there’s no easy way back. Facing backward you’re going double time going straight over. It’s still really hard because it’s like discover territory, right? So go from point a to point C and so our point B to point C and it just makes me realize like if we….. And you can do that with a decision, I mean you could easily just one decision can lead you there. So it’s scary to think about.

I loved it when we were talking the other day that you had a kind of insight to share with someone that it was like A consequential situation. Right. And what you learned later that consequences were a part of that conversation. But to say that everything has a consequence to a non-Christian.

Kenzie:

Yeah. They’re like, Oh, consequences.

Tamra:

Right. You think of like the javelin. No, that’s a sport. What is the thing called in the courtroom? The hammer.

Kenzie:

The Gavel.

Tamra::

The gavel. That’s it. Javelin is an athletic thing. No?

Kenzie:

Maybe, it’s worth a Google

Tamra:

We’ll Google it later. But yeah, I mean it is really wild that you, that’s how they perceive it. So how on the outside, so now you’ve had your experience inside the church, now you have a massive organization that you go to work with on a daily basis. You’re out in the community. Cause I know you live among people like you don’t immerse yourself specifically in the church. Like you know, not to say you’re out with sinners cause I get that.

Kenzie:

But I want to be out with sinners.

Tamra:

That’s what we’re called to, right. So you’re out at a bar for instance, on a Friday night with all of your friends, maybe even church-going friends, but there are other people around. How do you bring the non-gavel experience to the stranger?

Kenzie::

So I am going to pull in kind of our most recent sermon series I guess. So you got to make them jealous. Make them jealous. Jealous in a bad way. But I’ve learned like Christian should be the most joyous people on the planet. So you know, when you get into religion, you get into the rules and the consequences, but being just joyous and just loving life and loving that you get to connect with people and showing them Jesus through that, that’s kind of, that’s my jam. So that means talking to the person behind me at the grocery store. Like, Hey, I really like your shirt, like just, I am always talking to people and that’s, so we’re in the Midwest?   We throw them like an hour and then we’re all on the same page. Well, you never like bumped into someone said, Oh sorry, we’re overs so happy. I need like an oped shirt.

Tamra:

Typically I think we can brand that. Yeah, I love it.

Kenzie:

But so like in the Midwest it’s not as weird of a thing. But like big cities, If I was in like New York City and just chat with someone, they’d be like, (inaudible 32:04) But I do, I try to just talk to people and just connect with them. Like they might be having a really bad day, but just like showing them love through, you know, I don’t know, like getting our nails done Yesterday I was chatting with all the girls next to me. I knew some of them, like through connections, but there was this girl next to me that did you hear that whole story? So she was getting the Opal.

Tamra:

Oh yes.

Kenzie:

So I’m like, I love your nail color like that. Do you have an event this weekend? And she was like actually, my grandma’s visitation is tomorrow. My heart sank. Cause I know it feels.

Tamra:

Of course, you just walked through it.

Kenzie:

I got my nails done before  (inaudible 32:47) you’re shaking all his hands. You want to look good.

Tamra::

I never thought about that. Yeah. Interesting.

Kenzie::

But so yeah, she was talking to me about how she got these Opal nails because her birthstones Opal, her grandma’s birthstones Opal, she was a C-section and her mom chose to have her birthday on her grandmother’s birthday. And I’m just like, just trying to love her through that, you know, like that’s really special and I’m sure your grandma would be so honored, you know, those sorts of things. But I could have sat there and just like

Tamra::

In high school Kenzie you would have done that.

Kenzie::

You know you don’t connect with strangers as much. And that’s a generational thing too, I think. We’re always on our phone.

Tamra::

Well, I know the story specifically because I was on the other side of the salon and I had seen her nails. I’m like, those are really pretty, I thought to myself and thought to myself at the exact same time, that’s my birthstone. And so when you guys had that thing, you’re like October 17. Oh, that’s your birthday. So our birthday is the exact same day as that girl. And Opal is our birthstone. So I mean it’s just so cool. And those are like God moments, right? Like if you don’t take advantage of that, we would’ve never had that conversation. That girl would’ve sat there probably somber the entire time. And then she was laughing and smiling and like had this whole experience

Kenzie:

She went and talked to Kara. So our cousin’s getting married today.

We have so much to do.

Tamra:

I know its so good.

Kenzie:

But so she went over to talk to Kara for a bit and like congratulated her and

Tamra::

Only in New Albany. I know, I like to hope and think that like Virginia Beach is evolving into that. Especially cause we talk about this concept of revival in our city. And, I don’t know. Do you guys have any conversation around this revival?

Kenzie:

Not really. No.

Tamra::

So like we have, so many different organizations and concepts. So do you feel like there’s like new church startups or new, just like anything like that here? Just out of curiosity, honestly.

Kenzie::

Not really. There are not as many startup churches. I don’t know

Tamra:

So interesting.

Kenzie:

I mean there’s like, I mean, maybe in the city, maybe in the (inaudible 34:58). But I’m not even sure about that much, so we actually expanded to so we’ve got our church on the knobs. And realistically speaking, it’s a pretty inconvenient location. It’s hard to get people to go. We’re not in the mix of things. We’re like we’re on a farm field. I mean, there’s literally Buffalo at the church there’s a Buffalo farm, but it’s amazing. I mean it’s super, It’s beautiful. It’s wonderful. But so we actually just bought a church in downtown mobile in Portland so its….

Tamra:

So it’ll be a separate location?

Kenzie:

Yes. So that’s on Saturday nights, and then they have the exact same worship session and message on Sundays at that cornerstone still. So we’re (inaudible 35:49) people so we have to do that. So for a while, we would bus people up to us. And then even on Wednesday night.

Tamra:

(inaudible 35:57)

Kenzie:

That one I’m not sure, about two hours on a Sunday morning, maybe like one.

Tamra:

Okay. That’s a great number.

Kenzie:

But like in the winter it’s more than Summer.

Tamra:

Oh yeah, it’s traveling Yeah.

Kenzie:

Were lake people here were Always at the Lake.

Tamra:

Yeah yeah, lake people, I love it. That’s them and they have a whole brand around like people versus beach people. What is the good life? Right.

Kenzie:

I think so

Tamra:

No talking Yeah. So interesting. I just, I loved like making connections and when people are talking, I’ve always liked, okay, where’s this conversation going to go? And also trying not to like anticipate it at the same time and just be like surprised when it happens. What we were talking about, the element of a surprise recently and how there aren’t many things, you know, people say like, I’m not going to find out the gender of my baby because there are not many good surprises in life. But we actually have the opportunity like daily to live in a state of surprise if we allow ourselves if we put ourselves into that mindset of like, I don’t need to be the type a. I don’t need to control every single thing in my life and not know what’s going to happen tomorrow or what’s going to happen next week or any of those things. But I feel like the element of surprise is like a state that I love to live in. I like, I love surprises. Gary doesn’t really like surprises, not that he doesn’t like them, he doesn’t, he will figure it out. If that makes sense. Like he’s just a thinker so he’s like, Oh, okay.

Kenzie:

I’m a little bit of both of those.

Tamra:

Okay. Okay. See, I’m like, I’m going to turn that part of My brain off until it happens cause I am so excited.

Kenzie:

Like, if it’s something I can’t figure out, I like to do it. But like Carrie, yesterday I was like, do you want to see your jewelry? And I was like no it’s a surprise and the same as you with the dress. She was like do you want to see your dressing? You’re like no.

Tamra:

No! I don’t…… Yeah, I did. I did. I was really like, plus it wasn’t her thing to do. But my, she’s my goddaughter, she turned seven this week and she told her mom and her dad, the only thing that I want for my birthday is to not know when my birthday is. So she said it. So she understands the concept of the calendar. You know, my kids always say, is today, today or yesterday’s today? And I’m like what? Your confusing me, hold on give me a minute. Or they’re like, is tomorrow the day after today? And I’m like, Yep, yep. It is. It is. And like, do I have to wait up tomorrow for today? Or I’m like, Oh God. Yea. So she’s telling me like I told my mommy and daddy for my birthday, I don’t want to know when my birthday is. I want to be really surprised when I wake up and it’s my birthday. I’m like, that’s really cool.

Kenzie:

That’s really fun. I liked that idea.

Tamra:

It was amazing. Like I don’t know but we know the day of the week because we have work and she’s in the summer schedule. So she’s like

Kenzie:

Like to create and connect.

Tamra: Thank you to create and connect. So we know it days of the week it is and we know what our coffee date is going to be and our coffee conversation. So they never told her, they didn’t look at calendars. And so I got to see like this amazing element of surprise. They did like the whole trampoline build with the balloons on it and the bike. Her mom said it was the best thing because she got to wake up the next day in such an element of surprise and it’s not just like a surprise party, it’s just a surprise birthday. Like today is the day! Like this is so fun. So I love like, I just want to encourage people to, they can do that and you can do that on a daily basis. And that God is a God of surprises. Every element about him is a surprise.

Kenzie:

Definitely. He surprised me so many times.

Tamra:

Yeah. Can you think of any specific ones, especially like recently? Well…..

Kenzie:

It’s not super recent. I mean Sophia like she was the ultimate sobriety.

Tamra:

Would you want to share that from an auntie perspective?

Kenzie:

I can, yeah. So we’ve all seen the show like I didn’t know I was pregnant, right?

Tamra:

Yeah. Yes, yes.

Kenzie:

So Carly in winter of 2006, 2013, Sophia was born in 14.

Tamra:

Yeah. 13. That’s right.

Kenzie:

So in the winter of 13, my sister was kind of like, Oh, a little different. But we’re like, okay, she’s in high school.

Tamra:

Sure. So just going through her teen years

Kenzie:

She was dating a guy It was just different. So my dad one day kind of just came out and asked my sister like gave her a card. Is there anything you would talk to us about? Like what’s going on? Cause she was acting a little crazy. And so come to find out she is pregnant. My dad is the most amazing man on the planet. And it took her to get these tests. He’s a firefighter so he had like the day off, she was on Christmas break from school, so they were home together. I was at work and at that time it was work. And my mom was the same. So he takes her and I get these pregnancy tests and my sister’s expecting. So I come home from work and I’m telling my dad all about this new guy like Jesse this Jessie that and just like everything about Jesse, and we’re still great friends. And dad’s like not listening to me, he’s on his iPad. And I was like, can you just put that down and listen to me? I’m telling you about a really cool thing, this really cool guy.

Tamra::

Yeah. And I’m your daughter and you’re my dad and this is going to be cool for you.

Kenzie:

And I said, what are you even looking up? And he said in lieu (inaudible 41:29). And I’m like, I’m angry. I was angry. And I’m going to cry. He did the coolest thing. He said you could have a fit. You are so entitled to a fit. And I would want you to get whatever you need to out, but you need to leave this house because your sister needs your support. You need to go somewhere and do that. So I just went on a drive. I love to drive. So I went on a drive came back and we’re like, okay, we’re doing this. So, family, we’re doing it. So that was right around Christmas. So the day after Christmas she had an appointment and we found out that we would be having Sophia in January.

Tamra::

Which was obviously less than a couple of weeks. I remember you guys did it together, baby shower. And at the time I was at modern maternity with my mom, so we sent something over. But that is, mind you, people didn’t know I was pregnant. She’s seven and a half months basically. She found out she was pregnant. And the crazy thing about that is I was here in November. And so if I’m up, I mean we’re telling the story about, from our, obviously our first, our first-person experience. I remember seeing her I met the guy she was with, she came out with us a couple of times. Her stomach was constantly upset and I thought, you shouldn’t have eaten all that ice cream. (inaudible 42:42)  She said Puerto Vallarta earlier, she didn’t go out of the country when she went to church,  she just went to the local Mexican restaurant, which my husband would have a cow over and not attend because of his Mexican heritage. It’s not actually Mexican food fried, whatever you want to call it. But anyway, her stomach was hurting and she constantly is like, I’m tired. I’m going to go home. Again, teenagers, like not a huge red flag. I could tell that she was distant and like not acting normal towards the family.

Kenzie:

But do you think she physically looked?

Tamra:

No. zero.

Kenzie:

Thank you. Cause People think I’m crazy and that I’m lying. It’s insane

Tamra:

No. You could not tell.

Kenzie:

So one of my friends who hadn’t seen her in a while was like, Hey….. So it was the same week that my we threw that 50th birthday party for my parents.

Tamra::

Yes. Is that what I was there for?

Kenzie:

Yeah.

Tamra:

Okay. Okay.

Kenzie:

So one of my friends the after-party was like, Hey, Ken’s like, I’m not trying to be weird, but it just looks really good. And I was like, thanks. Shut your mouth. But yeah, so it was crazy. So that Whole year. So in July, we had your wedding.

Tamra:

No no, not that year, July, I was married in 2012.

Kenzie:

So then it must be in 2012 and she was born in 13.  Cause that same year we had…

Tamra:

Okay. Okay. That must be it.

Kenzie:

We had this embarrassing, she’s six. I know that I’m just not a math person. So we had your wedding, which was a destination. We had another friend of ours, a destination in October to Sarasota. Then we had gone to Hilton’s head in June right before your wedding. So we were at the beach and she’s like in a bathing suit. So you in a bathing suit, like she’s got wider hips. So I think that that’s kind of what helped. So the doctor is like talking to my parents and my sister and she’s freaking out. Right? So the doctor was like, you know, my parents have this look of panic on her face and she’s asking what are we looking at time-wise here? The doctor was like, Oh, well we’re ready any day now.

Tamra:

Oh my gosh. And mind you shes in a Christian school. So that’s a whole other level but were not even going to go into that but yea

Kenzie:

So that was interesting. So my parents handled it with such grace and that’s because they had accountability and they had friends that like kept them level-headed and support, so much for them to deal with. And so like I’d said earlier, I was angry. I thought, well what’s everyone gonna think? And that’s because of some of the past experiences I’d had with friends who had gone through similar things and I knew what people could or would say. But everyone really came around our family and supported us and specifically my sister. It was a really neat time. And so I would consider that like a huge surprise not expecting a Sophia and now she rules the roost. She is everything

Tamra:

Such a blessing

Kenzie:

I would say that that’s really been a surprise because it taught me so much about how to respond with love to things and like you can have emotion with that. But at the end of the day, it taught me a lot of grace and like the entire family so much grace and it taught us to have that same grace towards other people. It was a very, very humbling thing.  and not even like for me personally, I like I feel bad. This is my sister’s story to tell, but yeah,

Tamra:

Yea but you said it from your perspective.

Kenzie:

But she has been just the greatest, while she was never a, didn’t want to be a babysitter, I was the babysitter. I was with kids all the time and my sister was like, and now it’s the complete opposite. They’re stressing me out

Tamra:

She’s so good with kids she’s wonderful with my kids and I see them with her and they like just the way she speaks to them, the way she nurtures them.

Kenzie:

It’s similar in the way that you parent. That’s your very similar,

Tamra:

Well, that’s awesome to say that and good that I could look at her as an example because oftentimes again, we talked about mom and guilt earlier. You have this just perspective. You want to be the best that you can be. Just like you want to be the best aunt and you don’t always, hit the nail on the head, but it’s a hope. Right?

Kenzie:

This past Christmas I had an argument with this six or 5-year-old at that time give or take Iike every now and then it happens. It’s just like no that’s not what matters.

Tamra:

It’s so true. Well and it’s interesting, so like obviously we’ve seen each other through so many seasons of life and you’ve seen me come into my motherhood and also come in…

Kenzie:

It’s been such a beautiful thing to….it is so neat. It’s really,

Tamra:

It’s inspiring to see you do the same thing. And I love that even for so many people, and I know you’ve walked through this and you still are walking through it, you’re 27 you probably get asked on a daily like, Oh when are you getting married? When are you having kids? Oh so to speak to cause I’ve got a lot of friends in that state and on up into their early thirties mid-thirties sometimes late thirties. I want you to share from like that perspective, like how are you in your late twenties walking in and learning even still about yourself in your faith, navigating being best friends. Your best friend is married with a kid and you’re with them.

Kenzie:

So almost all of my friends are.

Tamra:

So explain like what that workaround is cause I know that it’s not easy, but I also love seeing how much you’ve grown. Like if I could Oh your sister said this yesterday, I’m going through a quarter-life crisis. I’m like, I’m using that because I went through that when I was 29 I quarter-life crisis hands down. And I always say it was my luck, my midlife crisis at 29 before life crisis.

Kenzie:

Which is scary, like. And so I’m like, Oh, what happens when I hit that time? What’s gonna happen to me?

Tamra:

Yeah. Well you, but you kinda didn’t like, you didn’t do that specifically, but you have evolved so much in the last few years.

Kenzie:

I would think so. Yeah. I mean like thinking back on how I would handle certain situations where I’m like, I’m a pretty impatient person. I’m working on that. I see a huge, like my responses to things, now are totally different than they would have been three, five years ago. So I’m impatient, but I’m trying so hard to patiently wait for like, the right person. And there like he will show up when you’re not looking. And I’m like, I’m not looking, I’m not looking at all.

Tamra:

For those who are listening versus watching.

Kenzie:

But I’ve kind of I don’t know. I’m pretty, I’m independent, so my parents have taught my sister and I from an early age. So for my sister, it’s been different with her having a child, you know, they have to help her in ways that they weren’t really expecting to. But she’s as self-sufficient as possible. I mean, she has a great job and she has helped from Michael too. So I’ve been independent. That’s like, I’m huge on that. Being able to take care of myself. But then also, I don’t know, I’m trying to not be like, I think if I really wanted to have a boyfriend  I could have one and I have one, but it just wouldn’t be the right one. So I’m trying to be patient in that and its hat’s been interesting. But yeah, honestly pouring into the church and finding fulfillment in Jesus has helped so much and it’s also put the right examples in my life of relationships I want. I can tell you off feeling right now like I definitely (inaudible 51-18) and they might listen later after. But I think the world (inaudible 51-22) the world of (inaudible 51-24) and a world of Amber, Josh, like they are my six people. I’m like, Oh, like that’s what I’m looking for, the teamwork that and those boys are so immature when we’re together and it’s hilarious. But like separately, they are wonderful husbands and fathers and just spiritual leaders in the household. I’m so impressed by all of them.

Tamra:

Wow! What a compliment.

Kenzie:

So That’s what I’m looking for. Yeah.

Tamra:

That’s incredible. And God does like through seasons will teach you the things that you’re worst at in order to then meet you where to be. And that’s exactly, I don’t think,  didn’t learn patience until my Cooper. And so like I was very much type a plan. Oh, I met the right guy. Okay. We’re going to get married this time though he did wait much longer than I was willing to wait. Honestly, I had like two and a half years in. He surprised me, I love surprises with a trip to Puerto Rico…. Did you remember this?

Kenzie:

I remembered that. Yeah

Tamra:

And so I didn’t know about it until like two days before. And he’s like pack! and it was October. So like I’m thinking fall, right. And he’s like “pack bathing suit”. We went and picked up snorkel gear and I’m like Oh yeah, it’s a very gallery and I was so excited. And then I found out the morning of that his, one of his best friends and his girlfriend, longterm girlfriend were coming with us and he’s a professional photographer.

Kenzie:

So you’re like, this is it, this is happening.

Tamra:

And we like Island hopped in. Oh, it was just, I knew it, I just knew it. So every excursion that we went on I’m like, Oh my gosh, we’re going snorkeling. He’s gonna dive underwater. Cause he’s an underwater photographer. The guy was so I’m like, Oh my gosh, it’s going to be like happen underwater. This is exactly like we’re always on the beach. This is happening and every day, so I’m like living in this inpatient experience of a 10-day beautiful vacation and I could not get outside of myself. I was enjoying everything, of course, it was immaculate. Amazing. Once in a lifetime. I’ll never likely do something like that again.

Kenzie:

Yeah. He’s so cool (inaudible 53:33)

Tamra:

But I mean, I remember being so….. cause when we got home I’m like, how could he miss this opportunity? This was the most Epic experience. And he didn’t propose for another year and a half later. I prided mashed potatoes at Christmas time. I cried, I mean I cried over this. And it’s because I, I wanted my own way. I had this own idea and I’m so grateful for Gary because he teaches me patience as well. But he just, he wasn’t ready and he, and it wasn’t that he wasn’t ready. He wanted to be certain and there’s a difference. Like you can be ready for a lot of things. But your certainty is wavering and thankfully he did wait that long. But it wasn’t until Cooper was born who, he challenges my patients every day in such a different way.

And if you’re a mom listening, you understand it. And I’m just grateful that it’s a continually, like evolving thing. But now, and then we were talking about the wedding later today and I get to officiate, which is so exciting. It’s such a humbling thing because I know that my marriage…..

Kenzie:

Is somebody gonna record it?

Tamra:

You can do that for me. oh, you’re gonna be at the wedding.

Kenzie:

Okay.

Tamra:

No, I hadn’t even thought about that, but I guess I could depending on what it looks like. But it’s such a humbling experience to be there, but to know like this is an opportunity to give them like my nuggets, like the nuggets that have made my marriage what it is. But you’re going to be there one day, no doubt in my mind and it’s going to be so amazing because you are rooted in your identity. And I was so not rooted when Gary and I got together and I feel like Gary’s always been rooted, but now his roots and speaking of like being a spiritual leader in our household, like so amazing to like humble yourself enough to say I don’t need to be ahead. I don’t need to be first in line. I don’t need like, and it’s weird, it’s a very weird thing.

But I have a friend, Mike, and Danielle and I can say their names because it will be a similar compliment to yours, but they have been rooted since the day they were married. I mean she saved herself till after marriage and like, and now I have four beautiful children and she’s all of them. I don’t know how she…..shes was incredible and her husband just has like come alongside her and all of that. But he’s such a spiritual leader and it’s so prevalent when you see them together. So much so that Gary, every time we leave them, he’s always like, I love how she respects him. And I always took it as a dig because you take offense if you’re not listening with an open heart. And I would always be like, I respect you. I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about them and I just loved how she constantly honors him.

Even from a parenting perspective, you’re going to have such a different patient. You’re going to have such a different ability to say like, this is daddy’s perspective, this is mommy’s perspective, and come together on that. So just allowing him and allowing him being God to just continually pour out. And for you to just know this is like you said, the fulfillment in Jesus, like this season that you’re walking through is going to be (inaudible 57:47).

Kenzie:

Just the process is what we say all the time. I’m trying so hard. And it’s a daily thing. It’s a daily battle though.

Tamra:

Oh  Absolutely.

Kenzie:

Weddings. Like I’m, Oh gosh, yeah,

Tamra:

27 dresses.

Kenzie:

But I’m like, I don’t know but I do (inaudible 57:06), that’s a great word. I feel very strongly that I’ve become my own person and I’ve made my own choices and decisions and it’s made me just like a pretty strong-minded person. And I still do having insecurities we all do. But I’m very confident in who I am and what I want.

Tamra:

And that’s the huge thing. Like I feel like when you’re seeping out, like, and I’m sure you’ve been in the state before and I don’t know as intimately because we weren’t as close at that point where it was anybody like you were kind of willing, if they love me, I’m in like, let’s do this. Like, let’s make this happen. And I’ve heard, you know, I will say family members recently who have come to us and in different scenarios and been like, if I was just married, we had this conversation. I just want to be, you know, married with kids. Okay. Or I just need the right job. Or I just need a new house, right? Or I just see a new car. And if you’re seeking and seeking and you’re seeking and you’re looking for the things that will bring you joy. And this will circle back to the very beginning like you need to be joyous within ourselves only understanding that like as an individual entity, I am strong. I am confident, I am loved, I am well, I am beautiful. I am all of these things without you. And yet together another rooted person will make that relationship so strong.

So your examples of marriage that you see with your friends, like you see both of them, so strong. But if you’re bringing in everyone this imperfect and you’re not ever going to get to the place where you’re like have made it or you’re in heaven at the feet of Jesus at that point. But is that if you’re bringing your brokenness in and you’re bringing your brokenness in and they’re doing different brokenness with two different perspectives now and now trying to fix them at the same time. I’ve done this so I can really speak to it. It is a shit storm. It is so much harder and I waited till after my kids to decide this is a good time to come and self reflect and be rooted in my identity because I didn’t know.

I was literally living blinded in a fallacy of this is perfection. This is a perfect life. I had the white picket fence, I had the nice cars, the jobs, the hot husband. I had the one girl, one boy, like the perfect case scenario and yet I was expiring internally. So I am excited for you to be able to walk into whatever blinded situation, whatever surprise God has in store for you at any point, whether it’s today at a wedding and you meet a stranger or if it’s your sound the road. But to know that as each day, just like you said.

Kenzie:

Yea just like, I’m gonna visit the bar later, three floors this wedding and I’m going to be on the first floor a lot, I think

Tamra:

Now that they’re speaking about it. Let’s maybe like speak it into existence, speak it into existence.

Kenzie:

Prophetically speaking here

Tamra:

I love that you said that the other day. I was like, wait, what was the prophetic word? You’re like, I was just saying you’re coming to Indiana earlier than what you thought. I was like what tell me, I was so excited. But then again, there’s your comedy coming into play, which I think from a perspective of teaching, from a perspective of mothering from a perspective of like being the spouse like that’s such a strength of yours that is like so good because it does take your control, like down a notch where you were able to say, you know, I think I’d just rather laugh than be in control.

Kenzie:

Definitely. I was talking to Gary the other day about and maybe you were there, I’m not sure, but I mentioned like finding somebody that like, so I saw a meme, I was like, I’m trying to find the type of person that will laugh with me about the fact we both forgot to pick up the kids that day. And I’m like, that’s kind of what I’m looking for. Like, you know, ’cause you’re not going to be perfect all the time.

Tamra:

No.

Kenzie:

One of the best pieces of advice that I ever got from a coach was that you’re 100% is different every day just because you’re just like in different places, you can still get that 100% percent. But it’s going to differ day to day.  Almost like with like lifting, you know. You’re not going to PR every time that you’re lifting. You’re going to have a really good day where you’re spotting 350 and then the next day you might not be able to do 275, maybe not the next day. Switch that up. But yeah,

Tamra:

That’s a good analogy though, to look at it from that perspective. And it’s interesting because today when I was prepping the ceremony, I was thinking about the fact of like, and talking about the fact that like you have to give 100% like you have to give 100% and you have to get 100%. It’s not you come together and we’ll give it 100% because that’d be 50 50 and that’s only half of yourself into a marriage. And so it’s the same thing. Like you have to give all of it each day and it will be different. And a man’s 100% is really different than a woman’s hundred percent and just,

Kenzie:

Yea. We have different strengths. And we were made to be different and to complement one another.

Tamra:

Yes. So yeah, and so you know, your strengths are my weaknesses and your strengths and like that’s the whole point of marriage. And so I’m excited for the one day that I meet your husband to be able to like pick apart those pieces because I’m really,

Kenzie:

Your gonna be good at its so dormant.

Tamra:

It’s so fun. It’s so fun to like see that and just kind of sit and reflect. But enjoy the season that you’re in.

Kenzie:

I am you know, so I do love that I live alone I’ve got my own house I just do my own thing. Nobody’s like What time are you coming home? I’m worried about you. Oh for Christmas, my parents are doing this. Oh, what time is yours? I know mine’s the same time. Not yet, I’m not ready yet. So that could be part of what Gods working on is just to chill and be okay with like, breaking up the tradition like that’s so important.

Tamra:

Yeah, that was such a good conversation we were having this last night and I love that.  Last night reminded me so much of when we were little and like we would have to go to bed or it would be time to watch a movie and our parents would stay up for hours and just talk. And I’m like, what are they talking about?

Kenzie:

Everything

Tamra:

Everything. And so we put our kids to sleep last night and Kinsey’s like, can we just like, chat? And I’m like yea Let’s do it. Two hours later, we’re all yawning and like, when are you go to sleep?

Kenzie:

I think Gary was falling asleep.

Tamra:

Okay. So there’s this thing about Gary that like our really close friends know if you’re over our house anytime pretty much after sunset. So in the summertime, that’s about 5:00 PM. I mean in the wintertime it’s about 5:00 PM. Summertime is like nine. So unfortunate for Gary because he’s still tired and fried. He starts putting his fingers through his hair and it starts like raising kind of like a “new kids on the block” from back in the day. I don’t even know if that reference applies to your age. And he’ll start closing the blinds like just by like nature. Like he’s like, I’m not going to tell you to get out, but get out. So one of my friends, Josh will stand up when he starts standing. We’re like, we got to go doctor’s ready for bed. Like it’s fun. And I don’t think originally he knew that he didn’t, Josh didn’t either. So funny.

Kenzie:

He didn’t realize he did it, but we were like, all of us like, watch the stand-up guy. He’s ready for sleep. Like it’s like just like a visual cue for your body. Like, well I’m going to make this move, what are they going to do? So now we know

Tamra:

So he was definitely falling asleep last night, which I love. But I just love that like the conversation is such a rooted part of who we are. And it’s also really important because we did live for many years without really like diving deep with one another because you’re in your 20s. I’m like in the midst of marriage and kids and so to like have you come alongside like as a little sister? Cause I didn’t have a little sister. It’s been a really special thing and I’m so grateful for it. And I love that even States apart like that we can still, you know, make time to have a phone call.

Kenzie:

I had called you with broken hearts. I’ve called you with like singing joyous hearts. I’ve called you about work things like you know, professionally, spiritually. It has really been fun.

Tamra:

It really has been, its really cool

Kenzie:

I know and it’s like we’ve been there all along, we’ve just kinda evolved

Tamra:

I know! But you know what, again, God prepares everyone’s hearts for perfect seasons. And it changes. And so uncle Rick was, Sarah was talking to him about seasons like this is not, it’s not golf season. And he’s like, well yeah it’s golf season right now. Like that’s all the man, right? You can only think about one box at a time. Its Golf season. And she’s like, no, actually like this is the only thing season of like your daughter getting married and like you can’t call up today because we have this and this and this to do. And he’s like, what do you keep talking about seasons for like its golf season or its football season. So he didn’t conceptualize this season that like Christians talk about and so she was like, Tamra, can you please explain seasonings to Rick because he does not understand it.

And so she finally like, figured it out and he was like, yeah, I get it wedding season. And I’m like, no, it’s not wedding season, that’s not it. Its Kara and Jim’s season to be a dad, to assume the bride and watch her step into this next season of her life without you as her only like spiritual or not spiritual, but like an earthly father. She has a new man that takes precedence and it’s just so funny cause Rick is, you know, barbecue and golf or barbecue and beer and a football game. So it was a really funny conversation. But to think that like this concept of seasons, some people just don’t, don’t grasp hold of it. And there’s, we’ve actually talked about, cause my girlfriend Morgan, who often, you’ve seen on the podcast or heard from, she doesn’t really love the word season. So she’s like Is there another word that we could use versus seasons? I’m like, do you have a word?

Kenzie:

You like, have to source that? Have you done that?

Tamra:

No. Synonym of……… No, let’s do it instead of seasons, but it’s going to be weather oriented.

Kenzie:

Yeah, that’s true.

Tamra:

So instead of another season of life, this is what we’re going to title the episodes. So we really need to figure out what it’s going to be called. Do you guys have any ideas, any ideas?

Kenzie:

Well we just got off answer

Tamra:

A period at division and interval. An interval termed juncture. Well, juncture I feel like there’s like an intersect attitude and opportunity of life. The spring of life, time of your life now season, we’re going to stick with the season. We’re going to season, this season of life. So this season of life has been really fruitful for us as cousins, as friends, as spiritual sisters. And I’m so expectant for what later today with the bride and groom are going to hold. But I am looking forward to the next season of life as we just continue to grow into this relationship. And I’m grateful for you. I’m grateful that God has given us each other, even States apart here in Indiana.

Kenzie:

Well, and like that’s the beauty of technology too. It can be such, there’s a negative to it and generationally the generation above me focuses on that negative. That’s just sort of the positive.

Tamra:

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Here we are, podcasting.

Kenzie:

I’m (inaudible 1:08:28) today.

Tamra:

I love it. It’s so good. It’s really awesome, exciting. I love you so much. I’m so glad that you Instagram live Facebook live and podcast today for the first time and….

Kenzie:

It’s insane I’m putting it on my resume.

Tamra:

Shes gonna title it, I’m a podcaster now. I love it. And once again it’s the “Ope”  podcast. Please call it that. I’m branding you. I love you so much.

Kenzie:

Love you too.

 

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