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Bonus Episode: Forgiveness and Healing – With Sister Sister Hosts

Did you know I co-host a monthly series called Sister Sister that runs Live on FACEBOOK the 3rd Wednesday of every month?

Forgiveness

Yes, I know you are doing the 90’s sitcom jig right now to Tia and Tamara’s fashionable twin tunes, but this is TIAnna and TamRA coming at you with hubbies and babies! Sisters by the blood of Jesus! Because once you see us, you’ll know why we couldn’t quite be sisters by birth.

These conversations get down, dirty, funny and silly but ultimately truly authentic REAL mom, real wife, real life coffee convos.

This conversation is on Forgiveness and Healing; lessons we all need more on daily.

Tamra – Tune in on FB

Tianna – https://yourstrulyportraiture.com/

Join us on our next talk LIVE! https://www.facebook.com/events/523081978420837/

SHOW NOTES:

Tamra:

I wish you guys could see the YouTube video that I’m referring to, who knows Sister/ Sister from the nineties (inaudible 3:23), so good. So we are here as the new age, about to be the twenties, not the nineties Sister /Sister. And I love that it is, plus a white girl. Hey, our twins status because that’s not the case, but we share a similar heartbeat and a similar mindset and I think that overlap is exactly why we get to call each other sisters. So I’m pumped to bring this series to you guys alongside Tiana, hence Tia. And I’m not Tamera even though everybody always calls my name wrong, Tamra.

So Tianna and Tamra and this is going to be a monthly series for you guys and maybe just on Facebook because Instagram and Facebook simultaneously do not want to work for us. So we’re going to figure that out. If anybody has any suggestions, please let us know you need it. But yeah, so today we’re coming on with a lot of different things. Tiana, do you want to share about like sister, sister concept before I jump into today’s topic?

Tianna:

Yes. so sister/ sister is born of our mutual calling and purpose to empower ladies in sisterhood. We are seeing through what Tamra does with Core and fit and faith and all the beautiful things and what I do through coaching. We just really believe in the power of coming and walking alongside you and encouraging you and loving you and doing this thing together because the Lord Jesus did not create us to do this alone.

We are better together. Iron sharpens iron and we are so excited to walk with you guys. We want you guys to be interactive with all of this. We want to hear your thoughts, your opinions, your suggestions because we know that God created us to do this together and we’re better together.

Tamra:

That’s so good. I love that. And better together is an amazing song too, but, well, I’ll play that song maybe next time in place of sister /sister. Cause it’s so true. So when you were talking on our last live, which the first one was last month, we were talking to all of you at the end of sharing and wanted to know what was pressed on your heart as a topic that you were curious about as a topic you were dealing with as something you were walking through. Or just wanted more insight from two sisters and what that looked like for your lives. But also what it’s looked like in ours. And so there were a couple of topics that were thrown out there. And even though this is the season of like joy and excitement, especially with the birth of our coming father and well son technically, but father, all things, all the layers, right?

And there’s so much joy. There’s also a sadness and a broken heart and the love of lost a lot of those that we’ve lost and so many other components and layers. And so today’s topic is on forgiveness and healing. And I think that that is a difficult space, both in one ended up the same, but also simultaneously, especially as we’re walking into the season where you’re seeing a lot of opportunity for hurt because you’re with people who have either hurt you or people who don’t see you as who you are or you’re walking into your first Christmas without someone that you love and cherish so deeply. Or maybe it’s your 15th Christmas without them.

I feel like so many people have so many different layers of what they’re seeking and their need for healing as well as they’re yearning for forgiveness, whether it’s to be forgiven or to forgive.

Tianna:

That’s perfect.

Tamra:

It’s, there are so many depths and, and as can go so many different directions. And so Tiana and I were simmering on what this meant for you all. And so we have a couple of questions to help guide the conversation. But again, please feel free to jump in and let us know thoughts or questions or anything that comes to your, to your heart. So to start, what experience with forgiveness has left you in a place of knowing better, how to forgive?

Tianna:

I feel like I go to this example so many times, but it is just a time in my life where I was broken and the Lord has restored exponentially from that. But I’ve spoken on this before, but I’m very early on in our marriage. My husband was unfaithful and I……Its in things like that when especially when you’re faithful, you’re like, what did I do wrong? How can I fix this? And we, we live in a fallen world.

Things are going to happen. People are sinful and we are going to be going, you know, that that is why we need Jesus because he’s the only person that can see us through that can get us through, that can encourage us, lift us when we can’t. And it is through that of one of the biggest betrayals that I have seen my marriage flourish. And it’s so hard because I say every time I’m like, I don’t know what our relationship would even look like if that hadn’t happened.

And I hate saying that cause it’s like no one wants to be cheated on, you know, but like the Lord did so much through that and has grown us and simplified us and drawn us closer together. And I just don’t know that without that hurt that I could be the person that I am.

Tamra:

Yeah. And so all through that process of like learning to forget them and like going from hurt and like broken to now whole and always obviously still becoming because we’re not living in perfect perfection at this point and still always like growing into ourselves and our relationship. But what like what did you do, how did you move into that place of forgiveness?

Tianna:

The answer to that is never one that we ever want to hear or say or do. But I think the biggest thing that we avoid as people is feeling our feelings. Like in so many of the women that I work with, they just want to like move on and like, of course, we all want to move on. But if you don’t feel your feelings, if you don’t work through all of the emotions, if you don’t cry out to God and lament and seek him, you can’t be restored.

And that’s why I love the picture that the Lord has given us. We cannot be redeemed unless we die. Like Jesus went to die on the cross to redeem us and we cannot die to those things that have been holding us back unless we really feel it, recognize it and move through it.

Tamra:

So good. I think there are so many components when something happens to us where we have anger or bitterness and in Ephesians  4:31-32, it says, get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

And I think ultimately above all things like we need to come into alignment with the understanding that we are equally as imperfect. No matter what has been done to us, no matter how grandiose it may have been in the fleshly worldly eyes of, you know, we’d have so easily like put sin on this pedestal, right? This like what am I like, pyramid? Or if there’s, this is the worst we feel this is the next worst and so forth.

But we know that all sin is equal. And so if God gave us forgiveness on anything that we’ve ever done, be a lie or be it, you know unforgiveness to others, which is also a part of that or (inaudible 11:53) whatever that be for us to know that he instantly forgave us and still forgives us daily as we come into repentance. And so I think a huge part of that and being on like another end of that is where we are harboring those bitter, angry feelings because of resentment towards something that has been done to us. But at the flip of the coin, when you’ve done something wrong,  how can we be the ones to be seeking forgiveness? Which we do so, you know, desperately towards Jesus knowing he instantly forgives. But now we’re dealing with men and wanting forgiveness from them and through their imperfection, it’s hard for them to give back.

And so it’s, I think as fellow Christians we can comprehend that magnitude of forgiveness from the Lord. But when it’s not given back from somebody humanly that we want to touch and hold and be in proximity to, it’s so difficult because you feel so isolated. From my own experience.

Tianna:

So what about you? What, what in your life has made you forgive better?

Tamra:

That’s a great question I think. I think it’s constant. I think I’m learning to forgive daily. This year specifically, I’ve had quite a few scenarios with siblings and it’s been throughout a couple of years. But I feel like so often, and here we are talking sister/ sister like this is your literal blood siblings and you’ve lived your life with them. And you have set these unknowing, unconscious expectations of who they are and who you are to them. And when somebody hurts you or you’re hurting them, you immediately get left in this place of confusion. And for me, it was a place of fear. What if they never love me again? What if they can’t forgive me? What if I can’t forgive them?

What will that happen? What will the relationship look like to our children and our children’s children? And what hurt is it causing other people around us because we can’t forgive or we’re not moving forward in that dynamic our parents inclusive, I think of my own children, you know, circa 20 years from now, if they couldn’t even like be at a dinner table together, how broken that would make my family, right? And so us walking through this to this day and so why this conversation is imperative and been such a consistent conversation in my life this year is that I’m dealing with it. It’s, it’s constantly evolving.

But what I’ve learned through my faith and like coming into the forgiveness of my father and is that the biggest thing of all things, the first step that I had to do beyond asking for repentance was forgiving myself.

And even in the relationship that you disclosed, there had to have been some pain points and some like finger pointing towards yourself, what did I do wrong to make this happen? What did I do wrong for this to unfold in this magnitude of a way to cause hurt on someone else? And whether it’s hard to, it’s hard to like perceive in that situation. Like what did I do wrong when the outside world would just immediately blame, right? But it’s so imperative as you unpack a situation, no matter what the situation looks like, that you are not just looking at the two sides, but you’re, you’re looking at what God says about that situation and what his promise is for the outcome of that situation. And so my being able to forgive and my being able to walk out this process of forgiveness because of God’s instant.

But for us, it’s this ever-evolving, necessary walk because we’re inhuman. After all, we’re imperfect because the enemy tells us lies that we deserve something else or that this isn’t our fault, that it’s blaming. Right. And, and for us to walk this out and to recognize that when I can forgive myself, I then can forgive others and we need constant forgiveness without anybody else being a part of that picture.

When I look into the mirror at the end of my day, you know, trying desperately to work and walk out the works of the Lord and knowing I missed the point every single time. I don’t have to ask for forgiveness in that because God loves me and has already graced me with the cloaca for goodness under his blood on the cross. But I know that I can’t walk into my wholeness as a daughter of the King unless I am acknowledging that I’m already forgiven. Hopefully, that made sense.

Tianna:

Well, It’s so hard though because like I think the hardest part about forgiveness is it’s like with Jesus, it was one time, you know, he went to the cross once. But like in our human of fleshy natures, that forgiveness is a daily commitment, a daily choice. And some days are easier than ever. And I think that’s the other thing, again a part of our fleshy human nature is, is just that we may forgive but we don’t forget. And I’m not saying that you should forget if someone has wronged you, that does not mean that you go trust them to the ends of the earth.

But at the same time, there is, there became a point in my situation where I was just like, you know what? I’m forgiving and I’m trusting God. (18:17) anyone to act a certain way. I can’t expect them to not be sinful. But Lord, I’m putting myself in your hands and I’m trusting you, not that person. And I think the biggest component of this that ties forgiveness and healing together is not the biggest component, but our biggest obstacles that fear like the fear of what does this looking like moving forward?

What does this say if I forgive them, am I opening myself up to this? What is, you know, there are just so many what-ifs. And I think it’s that fear that keeps us from truly forgiving and truly walking into healing.

Tamra:

Yeah, yeah, I agree. And I think without that, and I love, and I didn’t even realize that says I was kind of like pressing into it this morning. You’re my quiet time is like they’re connected. They’re interconnected. And I was thinking kind of two very conversations or two varied situations, but honestly, without that forgiveness, there can’t be healing. And on a huge scale, I know a lot of people stand in this place of anger and bitterness and they’re creating the mess that they’re sitting in because they can’t forgive. Because of who they’re trying to forget who they ultimately need to forget beyond just themselves is God in this situation because they’re harboring the fact that they think it’s his fault.

Why would you do this? Why would this happen? Why would you allow this person to do that or this situation to unfold this way or for you to take this person from my life so soon when our, you know, everything was just getting started. And so understanding that it’s not happening to you, but it’s happening for you and us to be able to understand the importance of his play, that it’s not, it’s not to harm us or hurt us. It’s not to make us have endless nights of no sleep and tears and crying. That is a part of a fallen world. And so ultimately through forgiveness that he gave us through healing that he also gave us our recognition of his capability and his supernatural power in our soul, and in our homes and in our relationships. That recognition is what gets us to the place of a huh or that place of release and that place of healing.

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Tianna:

That is such a hard pill to swallow because I think, I don’t, I don’t know where it happened, but I think there’s a huge step in mainstream beliefs that like God wants us to be happy and I don’t think he wants us to be depressed. But someone recently said to me because we’ve been going through some hard work, our family is, the Lord is making us trust him like never before. And it is hard. It’s been really hard and we are learning to let go and just truly trust him. And a friend of mine said, Tiana, God’s job is to make you Holy and that’s not gonna feel good. If it Felt good would you be pressing into him? Would you be seeking him? And I was like, well, no. But because if everything was comfortable, why do I need to pray?

Tamra:

And then just like, and adding to (inaudible 23:54/5) play on words and you’re, you’re leading to it, but his job is to make us Holy, not happy, right? Because happiness is a fleeting emotion. And I’ve just had had an entire podcast about this yesterday with Jessica Black, is that we are living in this world that is giving us a tangible desire for happiness.

And yet joy unspeakable joy is not tangible and it takes acts such as forgiveness, such as healing, where you cannot put your finger on that. You can’t, you can’t say this is your gift. Open it. You’re going to forgive, open your gift. You’re now completely whole and healed. It doesn’t work like that though, I believe in miracles. I know that, as I said again, it’s a process and it’s a gift that we’re constantly revealing to ourselves, that God is constantly revealing to us. It’s hard.

Tianna:

It’s hard.

Tamra:

Yeah. And you know, in Psalms 147:3 it talks about he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. And that physical representation of mending your heart back, of bringing it from a broken place, a broken state of broken point, and then mending it back together, mending in that word, mending it and binding. It’s something that takes effort, not just from the material that’s being put together but the works of both sides.

So if you have if you’re stitching, right, if you’re stitching your body after a cut the suture for it to work, it’s not the work of the stub of the string that’s doing anything. It’s the binding of both sides coming back together and coming back into alignment for the whole piece to come into play. And I believe that God himself is the strain and cause we have to have them for us to be balanced back together.

But he’s already gifted us the ability by nature of our being because we are made in His image, we are made in his life like this. We are already perfect in our DNA that our work is, our bodies are the ones that have to do the work of coming back together because we’re currently here. Even though he has the ability, his need is intertwining us just like the court of three strands. When we get married, we can tie two of us together, right? But without that third screen, without him being interconnected. And you having the ability to say, I trust you, God, I trust you with my husband. I do with my own heart towards my husband. And that the situation in the longevity of life is in his hands and his perfect plan.

Tianna:

Amen. Amen. Hard artwork, hard artwork.

Tamra:

I love that word artwork. So have you ever, so I know figuratively just from your example that like you’ve dealt with loss because you have this image and I’ve done this and walk this out with a girlfriend too. Gave birth unknowingly to a little one with down syndrome and she had the tests done and the ultrasounds and there was no known factor that this was going to happen.

And I remember sitting and talking with her and were having a conversation around the fact that she had to grieve even as a beautiful new mom. Even as you being this married, you know, couple of me as a married couple with my husband, me as a sibling to my sister and brother. I had to grieve what I thought and what I always dreamed would be. I always dreamt that we would be best friends. I had children eight 16 months apart because he and I were 18 months apart. There was such purpose in these relationships.

You got married with the intent of living this happy life, right? Happy life, happy wife, that it doesn’t always work out that way. And so then coming into the understanding of the grieving process through healing and the importance of actually just like you said at the beginning, feeling those feelings and re cultivating this newness and this new vision and this new purpose in your life and your situation. So talk to me about your own experience with loss and how you dealt with like the overcome.

Tianna:

I think it’s just, it goes back to what we said before about like as humans we have, we have this picture……..Did you hear that?

Tamra:

Yea

Tianna:

Okay, You have this picture of what things are supposed to be. And society tells us this quite often through TV and movies and we have this idea that things are supposed to be perfect, that things are supposed to go in a certain line in a certain way. And we have this plan and our plans are not God’s plans and our ways are not his ways.

And his ways are so much better. Even if those ways come about through failure and death and sin. Like the word says that God works all things together for the good of those who love him. And it’s so hard because I think amidst the mess and the feelings,  it’s when you said this before like we cry out and we were like, God, I don’t deserve this. And as a woman who waited till she got married, my husband was my first everything. I felt so betrayed that that happened. And I felt like, God, I did everything right. I followed all the rules. Why is this happening?

And that’s just the way that we perceive things of this world are not, they’re just not his ways. And that that was very hard, and for anyone who is going through healing, no matter what it is a very hard pill to swallow. Is that the way God makes us holey is not the way we want him to make us holy read a workbook and follow the steps. (Inaudible 30:16).

Tamra:

It’s so true. I do want to speak to that though because I feel like people want to know like how and they want to know like, okay, well I see the outcome of what you’re in and how your marriage has become whole and how my friendships have become better. My relationship has become like people want that. They want that tangible because we’re such a tangible society. And as I was seeking like what does healing mean and how can we pursue healing and equally forgiveness.

I was thinking of all the times that I’ve felt most broken and most unholy and the times that I struggled the most with unforgiveness and it was always when I was furthest from him. It was always when I was trying to control the situation. It was always when I was just dreaming up what the perfect case scenario or the perfect ending to this story would look like instead of relying on what he says about it.

And so I’m getting close to him seeking him, trusting him, literally touching his cloak. And there’s the healing story, you know, biblically of the woman who comes and she gets healed just by the touch of his cloak alone. Without him even seeing her, she could just get close enough that she would have that. And so for us to be the followers, to be the ones that are so in adoration of his ability that we seek him just to touch a piece, just to get a glimpse. And then from a more like worldly perspective, a more secular response to that would be to surround yourself with people who are in pursuit of him and who are for your good and in awareness of the fact that your goodness is separate is its own thing and nothing without him. And so being able to point them in the right direction, being able to have people pointing in the right direction on your behalf.

I recently came to know about a group locally, um, that is, they call themselves the standers have you heard of these Standards? So it comes together in an intimate setting and there’s been hurt or brokenness within their marriages and um, they’re standing there standing on behalf of their broken spouse or their broken relationship and their spouse isn’t generally in the room, it’s just them coming. And there was somebody that was there that had been standing for his wife for 12 years, still married, still standing. And he has helped and seen so many other marriages being healed day by day, year by year.

And yet he’s still standing, waiting, hoping, asking, seeking for his healing and his wholeness in his marriage. And yet that relentless pursuit is going, I believe, and I’m a speak this out, I don’t even know this man. Get that to be what is blessed tenfold.

Seven times, 77 times he says to forgive. And he’s doing that over and over and over again. And no matter how blind his wife may be currently or has been for the past 12 years. I’m believing as I have been revealed in my own heart and my own marriage and so many relationships that the scales would be removed.

And so I don’t know. We don’t know who you’re standing for today. And it doesn’t have to be your spouse. It doesn’t have to be a broken marriage. It could be within your sibling relationships, your best friend. I’ve had to stand in that place with as another broken part of my testimony. I left a friendship, after years of being best friends. She was a part of my storyline with my husband today and I’m not sure I’d know God would have, you know, aligned at the stars the way that they’re intended to be aligned.

But I remember going back after a year, um, and seeking forgiveness in this situation and the forgiveness was my lack of presence for this person because I was so self-centered in my work in this, that I didn’t have the capability to give out, um, to anybody else. And so I had come to a place of healing where I was like, Oh my gosh, okay, my cup is full again and I’m ready to start overflowing to the people that I love. And she was one of those people. And I remember seeking and asking and telling her the storyline of what had happened. And I was super vulnerable. It was one of the first times that I had let somebody else outside of my nuclear family, and it was well-received at the moment.

And a couple of days later I got an email saying, sorry, but I can’t pursue this relationship with you anymore. And that was the gist of it. Of course, part of it being the way that I’m displaying my faith was a part of it, which is still hard to stomach to this day. But I’ve forgiven the fact that those scales haven’t been removed and that God blessed me so much in relationships with women who are there and in pursuit and constantly pointing up and the moments that I am vulnerable with them in the moments that I am broken in the moments that I can’t forgive, they say, but God and it’s so necessary to surround yourself with people who are in pursuit of your true healing and true ability to forgive other people and be forgiven.

Tianna:

I think on that note though, the last thing as a part of that like concrete way to pursue healing is that we have to be willing to let go of control like whether because again, we do, we do not know how God intends or wants things to go. We pray fervently that those people will have the skills fall off of that. There’ll be saved and be redeemed, but we don’t know his plans.

And we have to be willing to let that go because if we hold onto it, we are not going to get our full blessing, our full healing, our full redemption. And like there, you know, there are so many stories of people being saved later on in life that people have been praying for 30 years. And we can’t wait 30 years to live our lives. You know, I have to be willing to say, I release you like obviously continue to pray for them, that person that has hurt you or left you. But I think that’s the thing, the major thing, like for me, it’s that fear and that control. Like, I need this to be this. I need this person to love me. I need this person to be in my life. And there’ve been times that God said no.

Tamra:

And yet he’s still good. Right?

Tianna:

(inaudible 37:23) Something better.

Tamra:

Right, of course, God is your replacement factor. And that’s what he came and sent his son for is to replace what had happened and for us to have that constant access to forgiveness. One of the things that I wanted to say when you were talking about is control, you’re saying it’d be in control. And this was a conversation that was had on a, a pulpit yesterday when somebody was sharing about like their vision for 2020.

And I think a huge point of us to talk about today is the concept of living in your comfort zone and how we so often just stay stuck in this lack of forgiveness in this unhealing mode because it’s comfortable. After all, it’s all we’ve ever known because discomfort is so comfortable. So she was speaking life over the fact that 2019 and all years past have been good even in the hurt. But that 2020 was a year of greatness.

And for us to receive that greatness, we had to break our comfort zone and step out to receive the abundance that God has planned for us. And that we’re living underneath these problems that we’ve self-manifested and letting the enemy talk to us. It’s not the enemy. You’re talking to yourself. You’re making the storyline in your brain by yourself, without the enemies. And it’s because we’re spending too much time in solidarity of the problem trying to control it. Trying to just remain comfortable and live in the comfort zone of life. When God’s saying come here, he’s saying pick up your mat and walk.

And yet we’re asking him and in the form of fleshly eyes we’re just saying like, “can’t you just do it for me?” “Come and hold my mat. You show me how to walk.” And that’s because I can just, I’m just literally envisioning like a baby and like us feeding the baby, the bottle, like girlfriend, I got four other babies, you gotta figure this out and I did not have five babies. And just knowing that like at some point he’s saying take it up and do it. Step out of your comfort zone and trust me that when you do it, you’re not going to fall. And if you do he’s there to catch you, so from good to great.

Tianna:

Yea, Amen

Tamra:

I want that for my own life. And I want to see the restoration in other people’s lives so eagerly. It’s totally why I do and pursue and that like being who I am because I’ve been hurt, we’ve all been hurt. Every single last one of us. Nobody is out of exception of needing forgiveness, of asking for forgiveness or being broken. That’s the Bible. It’s the point about existence and for us to recognize in sisterhood in brotherhood in the family that we can trust if we’re willing if we pursue it just to touch his cloak for like a second.

Tianna:

Oh so good

Tamra:

It is so good.

Tianna:

 

Every time I get so tired from our talk cause its so good.

Tamra:

It’s so emotional though because it’s like writing, So whenever I, last week I got to take some time to finish out the book that I’ve been working on what feels like not at all but also forever because I am like one chapter away girlfriend. But when I was sitting there like people often are like, why do you have to like leave? Like can’t you just do like a chapter here or a chapter there? And I’m like, no. Like when you’re working and walking out like that emotion on a piece of paper. Like if you had to sit and share about every single heartbreak of your life and how you overcame it so that you’re giving people tools and resources just like we do in this 45 minute hour window. It is hard work.

Tianna:

It’s hard. Like you need a break, rest for a week.

Tamra:

I wish I had a week rest, I usually jump right back into motherhood.

Tianna:

And like, go get the kids.

Tamra:

Yes. But I just, I think that it’s so important and it circles back to what you said in the beginning for us to just be present with our emotions, to understand that it’s okay to feel and that you are not alone in that emotion. I just got word yesterday that somebody that I didn’t even know that well at all. I didn’t, I don’t even know his last name. But had like an amazing connection with at a wedding, this past year that he takes, he took his life and he used to be a worship pastor at a huge church in California, has two little boys and was going through a separation. So you know what, who knows what that storyline is.

But when we spoke with him, my husband specifically who we call Yoda, had a Yoda moment with him that he then reflected on a week after we left just saying like, thank you for being so present with me that you are somebody who is going to like affect and change the nations, but the fact that you’re going to do it one heart at a time. And so we always just had this affinity to him because he was just such a, you know, vibrant person.

And so I want to speak over his life to the strangers of the internet. He’s a stranger to me, but at the same time, like I know he had a heart full of reward and so in forgiveness and healing, trying to comprehend when I found this out, like where does God play a role in that and there’s so much confusion on suicide and like when someone takes their own lives, do they go to heaven? And like, I don’t want to get into that conversation cause I don’t know, but is he forgiven? I truly believe that, that he felt alone in his emotions and therefore felt stranded, needed control. And that was his choice. And so in times where I have been fearful of my own action towards my own life, I think back on those moments and it truly was a matter of control.

That’s what I was seeking. I was, I was so out of control that I was like, how can I stop this? And that was the choice. And luckily I had, you know, my husband sitting there right there with me and in the wee hours of the morning just (inaudible 44:28) and we pursued help. And I think ultimately like that’s the biggest need is that God is the ultimate helper. And I was far from God at that point. And so I didn’t know that it didn’t even comprehend what that meant, but I surrounded myself at that time with people who knew the (inaudible 44:48) who could help me and they pushed me in the right direction. And here I am almost four years later.

Tianna:

God is good

Tamra:

He’s restoring day by day. I think that that’s so necessary for people to know that we serve and love and have access to a restoring God.

Tianna:

So I, I the Holy Spirit is putting this on my heart to just say, and I just want to say that anyone watching this, if you are walking through something right now and you don’t feel like you have a safe place to go or to talk, I just want you to know that Tamar and I are really big open hearts and we would love to pray for you, hold your hand and love on you. So if you need to please know that this is a safe place to reach out, obviously if there’s anything medical going on, reach out to the proper lines of support.

But I think the biggest thing that is on our heart about this sister /sister thing, we started with it and I just want to make sure that this gets said towards the end is that we believe in what we’re saying and we believe in doing this together because like Tamar just said, people were walking alongside her until Jesus came and opened up and started doing the full restoration. So we just want you to know that like if you’re lost if you’re not quite sure if you don’t have this kind of support or help that we would love to be there for you and we’ll figure out what that looks like from there. Cause that’s not for everybody.

Tamra:

Yeah, I think that’s so good. And I think that, you know, in a time where it can feel lonely, even with the midst of the holidays and you’re surrounded by work parties and family parties and friend parties, that you can still feel completely alone. And sometimes getting in connection with somebody who is on the outside of that situation of your past, which is Jesus, it’s hard for you. It’s all about your future. That it’s all about where you are in this moment and the yearning of your heart for something more, for something different, for something hole that we have access to that person. And you do too. You don’t need us, but we’re here if you need somebody, that is tangibly present. And that looks different. It looks different for everyone. But just I think that that’s such a notable piece of what we’re doing and why we’re doing it.

And, you know, being vulnerable on our end isn’t easy either.  I’m sharing with the potential, you know, people that I love deeply hearing this and, and thinking something negative from it,  pulling the wrong word. The one thing that I say and I could play that, you know, that note in my head over and over again. What if this, what if that, what if they use this against me? But I trust the one who has my storyline in his hands and I believe that whatever it is that you’re going through this holiday season as I had a very, very difficult holiday season last year with all of this going on, that it’ll be okay and that the ultimate light beyond all the Christmas lights still shines the day after Christmas day.

Random day of January, cold random day of March where you just lost the plan for your new year’s resolution. Like just keep pursuing God does not see any of what it is that your mind continues to circle. He just wants your heart. He just wants your presence and he wants you to be whole.

Tianna:

Amen.

Tamra:

Amen girlfriend. Should I play sister /sister so we can groove at the end so people are on…..ready. (Plays musical sister/sister)

Tianna:

Oh my God, I had so much fun. I Love you

Tamra

Thank you, sis.

Tianna:

Thank you. And guys, please leave us comments. Our next. We have a few topics we’re kicking around, but if you have anything, please share it with us. We would love to support you.

Tamra:

I think that’s my favorite part, is having them give us what their hearts are calling and yearning for (Inaudible 49:43)

 

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