Saying yes to our health can be hard. We just have to step out of our comfort zone to actually start in order to believe we are capable, in order to see the results, in order to understand that we already have the power within us and the tools on our belt to succeed.
After you begin the belief starts to set in. The beginning transformation initializes roots to form in the habit, in the practice, in the subconscious, and ultimately in the heart.
Once you believe, you step into the modification zone of fully becoming. The metamorphosis phases into the state of awe that is no longer simply internal, but has re-designed what onlookers see too.
Once you say yes to your health – you finally begin to be. Being is the state of knowing and recognizing. It’s the place of rest, but also the place of constant desire to BE the next best version of ourselves.
Today’s guest, Hayley Perschau, focuses her life around 3 key areas of constantly becoming. Being Present. Being Connected. And Being Authentic.
Tune in so you too can fully Be. And if anything, This may be the driving force to help you begin.
Connect with her here:
Show Notes: Saying Yes to Your Health
0:00:01 S1: We have to step out of our comfort zone to actually start in order to believe that we are capable, in order to see the results, in order to understand that we already have the power with us and the tools on a belt to succeed. After you begin, a bolsters to setting, the beginning transformation, initialize groups to form in the habit, in the practice, in the subconscious and ultimately in the heart.
0:00:28 S2: Once you believe, you step into the modifications of fully becoming the metamorphosis, pass into the state of all that is… No longer simply a journal, but has redesigned, but onlookers see externally, once you become, you finally begin to be… Being is the state of knowing and recognizing, it’s the place of rest, but also the place on a desire to be the next best version of ourselves. Today’s guest here, Persia focuses holkar und three key areas of constantly becoming, Be Present, being connected and being authentic, tune in to YouTube can only be… And if anything, this may be the driving force to help you
0:01:16 S1: Again, we’re all in pursuit of something more, wherever, whatever, or whoever your more is, I will help you get there holy, fully, authentically, and truly fit. The fit needs movement was birth through my own trial and error, discovery of mind, body and soul alignment, I learned first hand that being fit isn’t about our physique at all, it’s about the wholeness of our heart and the root of our joy. This isn’t a fitness podcast, this isn’t a quick fix health detox ploy, this isn’t confusing religious banter, this is a whole body health check-up focusing on the heart, this is an opportunity to join me alongside other big dreamers, innovative movers and lifestyle shapes as we explore and share our messy compact service homes. If you’re one step away achieving your idea of something more, tune in for practical fund in healthy ways to unite yourself into even more… Welcome to the fit and faith podcast with me, scaring. There is no better time than now to get the episode 12 of the face podcasts. Interesting is it… Does it have relevance to you…
0:02:33 S2: What was my friends basketball member? They just thought about it. I tear the top. It is
0:02:41 S1: Wow. Good. Be strong for those who are not from our community. I’m sure regardless, and the national television for Juno Beach has gotten quite a bit of attention lately for lots of different reasons, but the tragedy that had happened on Friday with the 12 who lost their lives innocently and unknowingly from somebody who was just mentally… Probably not there. We talked about it a bit last night at the session, and just they’re missing love, and I think so there’s so much that needs to be infiltrated into people, and I love that this podcast has taken the form that it has, because I think that those little bits of seeds that we’re planting in people’s hearts are what’s gonna hopefully help restore, hopefully comfort. So wherever you are today tuning in, I hope that this meat to you in a place of peace and comfort and resiliency and strength, because we all need his strength. For sure. So let me introduce to you today, Hayley. I don’t even know how to say your last name, Persia. I’ve never said that out loud. Yeah, I’ve always wondered. It’s beautiful.
0:03:58 S2: I… I still forget the… So I’m like, Oh wait, I desire eilean.
0:04:06 S1: I’ve known her for two years of the fact that I’ve never set her her name out loud, I was kind of weird, but she has been a motivator to me above all things, she was somebody who actually has inspired fit in faith. And we can go into that story later, but the whole concept of how I’m here and what the title actually is and what it means was all birth out of a brief nutritional assessment that she was giving me a little bit over a year and a half ago. And to see where it’s come now, and now to have you here, I’m so excited to just have your wisdom shed into the hearts and friends of that follow along to this podcast and then to the many more that hopefully join in later on to see, you’re doing it like everywhere this is going, it’s
0:04:59 S2: Pretty… Just a lot of people. It’s awesome.
0:05:01 S1: Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Well, I know with the lots and lots of women, how many burn members are there
0:05:09 S2: Were almost 400 now. Not for that. Amazing.
0:05:13 S1: Wow. So Hale was the head trainer at I say was, which is… That’s a notitia so SaaS of literally three days ago.
0:05:24 S2: On that piece, I do, I’m
0:05:26 S1: So glad. So she was our trainer, fearless leader, and just constant motivator and just friend, I think a lot of times when people come into that environment, they’re very venerable, even without realizing the vulnerability, they’re in a space of, I need more, I want more. I don’t want to do more. I don’t know what that looks like, but I always watch you agree and just encourage and it’s in a subtle way. It’s not loud. And I love that about you.
0:06:00 S2: I feel like I can relate to everybody who watch that door, I am that middle-aged woman walking through the door, motive, and I get just as nervous going into any new place, but especially as active as I am in the fitness community. When I walk into a new gym, I’m still nervous, I don’t know what that is, so I just have that one
0:06:25 S1: Thing, when you all come in.
0:06:27 S2: It’s very hard to walk through the doors.
0:06:29 S1: Yeah, we’ll explain. I know you have had quite a transformation even in your own experience from starting with burn, but then even thereafter, kinda give us a bit of an introduction on who you are, and we can start in the fitness realm, but I know that there’s so much more to you than that
0:06:44 S2: Burn… While I was training individual clients just at their homes and was just looking for that space that was gonna be a fit for me is the typical gym at that point in my life or the circuits of the day, it just wasn’t where I saw myself, and I went in and took a camp… We call it Camp at burn boot camp, and it’s the way I train. I fell in love with it. I didn’t realize it was all women until I started learning more about it, and that was just a very powerful thing that I didn’t even know that I needed or wanted to be a part of it, ’cause I have no problem like training with the guys that is not, I don’t… I’m not intimidated by that, that’s… I kinda get fueled by that, that competition, but it was… I just was meant to be there is looking about two months after I had had worked out there for 30 days, and the opportunity came up to be the support trainer, and then shortly thereafter to be the head trainers, and it’s just, it’s… Everything about it spoke to me from the mission to the style of the workouts, to just…
0:07:58 S2: No judgement, you get 30, 40 women in a space. And there’s just no drama, there’s just so… So
0:08:07 S1: That
0:08:08 S2: Sounds great, but that’s amazing to me, and just genuine, authentic friendships that are built and then you just see the transformation of people… Mind and body.
0:08:17 S1: Yeah, absolutely, yeah. It’s funny because I’ve never was really one to draw towards going with women either, and it was after really uncovering it in therapy, there was a lot of reasons why, and we can go into that too if we want, but that’s not the point of this were story is that eight college? There was all the rave about getting into her sorority, and I always was like, No way, I know how that is so far from me, I am a guy’s girl, like I wanna hang out with the dudes, I can’t even handle that drama, and so it was my sophomore year I was an RA and I got a friend, a girlfriend of mine, I did have girlfriends. Just not in plethora like that. She was like, We really want you to be a part of our sorority. I’m like, Well, I can’t pledge. She was a great… At my art, as an RA, you weren’t allowed. And I’m like, I can’t do it, I’m so sorry. And she’s like, No, we really want you to do it. We’ll give you a snap it and I’m like, snap it, What’s that? And it was, you don’t have to do any of the rush, any of the week-long intense stuff, and you come in after and we’ve snapped you that We want you regardless.
0:09:28 S1: And so I proposed it to everyone from a hierarchy, a resident advisory thing, and they were like, Well, you technically you’re not allowed to do it, but since you’re going around and circumventing the rules, we’ll let you try it from a time management perspective, and we’ll see what happens. So first time I walk into a room 300 girls, and I was a gymnast, so I’m around no girls in that camaraderie, but it’s an individual sport, as much as it is a team sport, it’s very… You deal with what you wanna deal with, I walked in and girls were discipline, being Garland, I’m chatty, so I get it. But I just sat there and I felt like I was in The Cyclone like whole molly, this is not okay. So I kept with the girlfriend who invited me and she’s like, It’s gonna be amazing, you’re gonna love it, it’s so much fun. I loved the community service components of it, I loved that they all knew somebody, and I felt really lost when I was in college, so it was definitely a grounding concept to have a home of a community of women. But two weeks later, I was like, Yeah, I do note.
0:10:37 S1: Couldn’t handle it. So fast forward it to burn, which was two years ago, that was almost a 10-year difference of time when I walked in and I found out that it was an all-girls gym too, I was like, Okay, where’s the motivation gonna come from ’cause I could always find the guy and be like, Oh, I can do that. I can do that, but I was in a really vulnerable place in my life where I needed women, and just like you said, I didn’t really know I needed them.
0:11:05 S2: That was my discovery too, and
0:11:07 S1: I… We need to have that community and that support and that understanding of if you have an off day or if you have a great day, or to celebrate wins alongside women is so different than celebrating wins along assignment. It
0:11:23 S2: Really is. I did not realize that I was just… How much I was lacking the connection to that group of women, and I would see friends who’ve had their friends from high school, like this group of women who have just stuck together and I never… I’ve got my pockets of friends, but I’ve never had that core group of friends that just kind of… You follow each other everywhere. Yeah, I’d always kind of missed that, and the therapy is helping me to cover where…
0:11:51 S1: Yeah, I…
0:11:53 S2: Why? I don’t have that, so I’ve got my way. Yeah, I know where that came from, but just to genuinely connect over the past two years on different levels, some has been… It’s been life changing. It’s very hard to know that we were moving on that piece with it, now I’ve come… I have plans, I know things that I need to work on, and so I’m excited. That’s amazing. But not having that is gonna be a
0:12:22 S1: Tie, that comfort of just doing when you get to the gym, somebody is gonna be there and
0:12:25 S2: It just gonna be a own accountability, mean burn, ’cause you have such accountability to show up…
0:12:32 S1: Well, it’s interesting that that is cultivated because it’s not really something that’s said in other gym, they’ll talk about having an accountability partner or actually setting that into motion, it’s never really that spoken of, but it happens innately. ’cause you’re like, Oh man, so and so is gonna be there.
0:12:52 S2: I’ve had so many women tell me that they have never stuck with something the way that they fit his routine be that they have with burn… As there’s that accountability.
0:13:01 S1: Yeah, it’s a really interesting… And then I used to mentioned that you loved the mission, and I don’t know, I mean, I see lots of slogans on the wall, what’s the mission of what… How does it touch you
0:13:11 S2: In… To be able to recite it, and I’m not gonna be able to within it talks about the empowerment of women, katana, that empowerment that test, it’s not just in the gym, but it’s just that whole inside and out that… And our strength is… Be a basic idea of it.
0:13:25 S1: Well, I know we’ve talked about, and I’m sure there’s lots of burn sisters who are gonna watch this and we’ll be excited. So there’s that. What’s next? That next step for you without that necessarily core though, we’re always gonna be there to have your back, and when you come home to visit, we’ll be here… I know, and I saw the transformation in how you even presented yourself as a trainer and how you took the body concepts and you really fed it into the mind and heart. And so like, what does that look like? What… You’re driving force behind that. You and for me, and I’m on this path with this as well, it’s just that overall wholeness, you can be physically as strong as you want, I
0:14:08 S2: Can go out and run the Spartan races and compete in different ways. And there’s that mental toughness and that mental confidence that comes with it, I can’t do those Spartan races if I don’t believe that I can do it, so there’s that mind piece of it, and I tell women all the time is we’re going to do chest press and they’re going to chest with two 10 pound diabetes, and I’m like, You’re a toddler way more than that, you’re putting them up over your head… It starts with that belief that you can do it. And I know when somebody has the physical strength to do something, so I’m never gonna push somebody to do something that I don’t believe that they can do it, it’s just getting them to believe it, so you’ve gotta have that mind piece of it, and then there’s just that whole… And this is where, without speaking it, you’ve made a huge impact on my life, but there’s some people… And in some ways, maybe I do impact people in a spiritual way, but having that ability to just outwardly bring that into your daily conversations and in your training, when I say train for something greater…
0:15:16 S2: Or a great book, by the way. Honest, I believe his name was trained for something greater, and I will talk about that when we were training Memorial weekend for the 31 was that dedication, but just training for something more more than just your physical work up at an intention… A waking up every day with an intention, and I’m kind of… Honestly, I had lost sight of that for myself, I felt kind of mentally strong in a lot of ways, and physically strong, but there was something that was… That has been kind of missing, and I sort of knew what it was, but I just didn’t know how to get there, and that was gonna be part of my next journey is so… Is wholeness, holistic? Everything that that means.
0:16:03 S1: It’s so true, and I love that, and I love it really… That whole concept really does speak to different people in different ways, ’cause different words, we’ll pull on them, the IT component or the faith component, and I remember… So after our conversation that we had… And to be honest, I don’t even remember exactly what it was. I don’t like the conversation.
0:16:23 S2: I remember leaving being… I really like her. Like it was just this very… Just organic conversation. It’s like-minded in a lot of ways. And just… And I don’t even know yet. I
0:16:38 S1: Do remember we talked about motherhood and what it was like transitioning and not knowing who we were, yes. And that was one thing that stuck with me and where we were in the struggle of identity, and that was what kinda started to transform as we came into the gym, it was our space to just be us and to kinda leave that at the door though sometimes they come into the job care to pick up. Okay, what’s your intention is kind of like what you said. What is it for you? What are you coming here for? What… It’s kind of like yoga, which I just did for the first time in years, a burn on Sunday to go from Brett, Brett had just said some awesome things on Saturday after my workout, and it wasn’t to me specifically, it was to the general body, and I was like, Man, I need to take that time for myself. And so I went, it was incredible, and the whole day… Meditation was kind of a theme of the day. I had no plan on it being that way, but the podcast I listened to did it, and then my sermon later with the session ended up coming into that, and I was just like, God is so good, like he knows what we need before we even know we need it.
0:17:52 S1: He knew we needed women before we comprehended that we needed women, he knew I needed this conversation to be a trigger for something he already ingrained in me, because less than seven days later, I had every chapter title written and I had 165 pages written of my book wow. And I was like, Just in such gratitude, and I was in gratitude to our conversation specifically because it’s weird how sometimes it’s just that one thing, and if we’re more present, there’s a lot more things…
0:18:30 S2: That’s my present connection of authenticity, those are some of the words that I’m using as I kinda go through this transition for myself, but presence has been huge, it’s funny you talk about meditation because that is something that I’ve always said, I’m not good at it. I don’t how to do it. So I just all… But in therapy, it’s there to… Have never been before. Yeah, I’ve never gone before. He is a arrive weeks ago. Wow, what do you think? I love the… And I’m not gonna go forever. Yeah, just needed… I just needed some guidance for… When we get through the Mohali, birth was scary. Very scary. It came at a time when I needed that, that felt fulfillment, that affirmation, that’s something that you’re good at, something that I can make a difference in a… And now it’s gonna be gone. And so what happens when I’m in Stafford with me myself and I… My kids go off to school, Adams off at work, and I don’t wanna just jump into something, so how do I learn to be present and be happy and fulfilled with just being with us method, external reinforcement. So anyway, so that’s where the…
0:20:02 S2: There became a… Just to get those tools. Did
0:20:04 S1: She give you some like what it’s been probably your biggest… To Masur, there’s a bijnor. Nalini. Yeah, that’s a heated…
0:20:12 S2: Said her, if I mind sharing my first journal entry with her so I can… To her, and I did, and I walk into the next session and she’s like, Do you mind… Are you open to starting our session with meditation, and I was like, I’m very open to the US, I think you need that meditation on how to be stolen, how to be still, so I downloaded this app that I have been using that just helps guide me because I don’t know how to shorten, so the guided meditation. So three, five, 10 minutes a day, whatever I have time for. All walked to school, I’ll turn it on. And just learning how to be present.
0:20:51 S1: It’s so hard, and I… I absolutely went through probably it was a year and a half when I had stripped back from my role as a CEO and a couple of different companies as I only was mom at that point, and though mom doesn’t really… Motherhood doesn’t really low you to be still right. I had to learn to be still in every other facet of my life, right, and not have the achievement, not happy attention, not have the accolade, now have other people’s affirmation or confirmation or any of those other things, and to comprehend your solitude and solidarity is one of the biggest life lessons that I’ve probably learned.
0:21:34 S2: I’m really excited to get there, I can see the excited I… We didn’t see it before, which is why I knew something I had to ask for help because I couldn’t… I couldn’t see it. Yeah, and I just listen, I didn’t know how to listen anymore. It was like, I just was kind of drowning in this like leaving burn and just a beaten now, I’m excited, I feel more present. The happy… There’s no searching for happiness or… Well, when that happens, I’ll be happy again as happiness is only in the presence… You can’t search for it. That’s
0:22:16 S1: So interesting, I love that because there are things in the past that can bring happiness in reflection, and there are things that we hope for in the future that will bring happiness, but you… Uneasy experience
0:22:28 S2: Is now. That’s so true.
0:22:31 S1: That’s really good. That’s a really good reflection. I love potatoes. That’s really good. Yeah.
0:22:38 S2: I’ve heard it and it was like, just, Wow, you’re right. You can only be happy right now. Yeah, and I hear one, bring in the past, think about memories than you get in finding about things in the suture. Feeling of that happiness is. It’s right now.
0:22:52 S1: Right now. That’s so interesting. And that is, I kept hearing as we were having this conversation is be still and know that I am God, and it takes stillness to really comprehend the magnitude of joy, which is the deeper component of happiness, that we all have access to it, and yet I think it’s a hard thing. Society tells us to do the exact opposite. At every given moment, right? And so comprehending that we have control over our own lives and our own being and our own happiness, that other people don’t control it, other scenarios don’t control it, titles don’t control it, right. That it’s innate within us already.
0:23:37 S2: It’s just putting it into practice, knowing and believing it, believing it, just like you said that in a talk about knowing it, he goes, I don’t need to believe. She goes, I know it, and I’m like, That’s a powerful… This is powerful saying when your belief just becomes like… I know.
0:23:53 S1: Yeah, I know, I know that. I know that. I know, I know, I know. Yeah, I see that, I know it. Yeah, I would love… I wanna be that, I wanna get to that space because I think belief in fate, and I interacted with somebody who came new to the session last night, and I said, So what did you think afterwards… And it’s an intimate group, so there’s, like I said, and family is represented, maybe 10 families represented with those who are single and there without their kiddos or without kids in general, and she said, Well, I feel like I got in a little deep and I’d been over my head… And I said, Really, what makes you feel that way? And she’s like, Well, I feel like you guys really are a lot deeper and know a line come from a lot more than I do, and I said, interesting that you would say that. And I said, Because I’m fairly new to my faith as of three years ago, I’ve known God, but I’ve never known to know God, and that person just got baptized recently, that person just came to their fat, that person’s brand new to their faith.
0:24:57 S1: I said, The difference in what you’re feeling here is a hunger to know God, it’s different than a church that we’re checking a box. And not to say that every person that goes to church is just checking a box, but in that magnitude of people coming in with their happy faces on and we’re here for church and they’re wearing their pretty Sunday best, this is a place of comfort and pajamas and crying and happiness, and family and… And rest and we allow people to be still, and it gives you just the… Such a time of reflection. So she means like really… You could say he tell… She just had this sense of relief that she wasn’t this odd ball in the room, and I think it’s so important, just like the girl who walks into burn, who’s like I
0:25:48 S2: Was just… So I keep thinking about that. The Hangout, as you’re talking, I’m just like, yeah, the people who walk in, I don’t think I can handle this, I can’t hang there, they’re looking at the best one who’s been there for two years or whatever it is. We only ever see like who we perceive to be the strongest, the most beautiful, that whatever, we don’t ever see. The flaws or one who’s modifying, or the one that is on the the biggest weight loss journey, or the one who might be the beast physically, but is lacking in other ways, so I always say burn everything we do can be modified and you know, I’m probably the same with the Serena, you may not take it all at once, you can take the piece that you’re ready for, and then you’re slowly gonna build on the relationship, and one of the questions you ask, you still you can be…
0:26:48 S1: And the same thing from a non-spiritual perspective that ties into that though, is the mindset to a… You see that with the body, but modification of mindset is very… So just five weeks ago, your mindset towards this move was massively different than the mindset that you have now, and sometimes it does take help, it takes somebody like sitting you down across from the couch, across on the coffee and just saying like, You can do this, that the tools exist and you already have it within you, right, it’s that switch of perception, that switch of mentality, let’s attach this from… A different way of looking at it. Are you ready for the women’s wellness weekend? A time for us to come together to align our mind, body and soul to detox, design and develop ourselves from the inside out, your road to life-changing health and wellness begins during the potion side. Tonight, 3D experience, we use our natural surroundings to rebalance and we connect with our true self, it’s time for us to come together in a space where we can rest. Refuel are June. Hope to see you there in
0:28:10 S2: One session of just helping, it was like I was able to switch the mindset, I know I was gonna be okay after he won that increasing this… Wow. But I keep going, ’cause every… Every time I go, now it’s just in creating the habits with the journaling and meditation and just making a good healthy habits, ’cause not every day is gonna be easy, you know it’s gonna… We’re constantly practicing, we’re living it, but we’re gonna have… I’m gonna have a movement of struggle, but if I can go back to those tools and that belief and that… No, would be good. It’s so true, I’m excited. I actually genuinely excited now, which is a good… That’s, I’m sure a foretaste. Excited with everything that’s been happening and everything that’s… Where I’m going, I feel that transition. I have no one that I’m on, I talk about that. It’s just like this, just this internal… I feel better than
0:29:12 S1: I have ever expandable. Imagine the piece that that now has the opportunity to exude into your children because it’s a huge change for them too, leaving what they’ve always known, and if you were spiraling and confused and crying and all of the emotions, and you’re allowed to cry and have all of those emotions still too. But at the exact same time to know that all of those emotions are rated in peace because of the comprehension that you’re gonna be okay, it’s so important for them to have that. And I’m learning that more and more as I experience, even just toddlers who know what’s happening without their comprehension of language… Right, they see, they all signs, they get it and it then pours into them and you can see little bits of anxiety or just disarray. And you’re like, What’s going on? What are you acting like that? Yeah, two hours before you were emotional wreck, right? Right, right.
0:30:12 S2: So it’s having tiny humans is interesting, like following a… The really interesting in minor, now what, going into seventh grade and going to fourth grade or that… And we talk like that’s… We talk, we communicate, it’s good, and I’ve been honest with them of being a mom’s care too, I was not sure, but now… And they’re seeing… They’re seeing that other side of like, Okay, here’s how we do this, here’s how we do this.
0:30:38 S1: It would be so helpful in the longevity of all of it, having that… That sense of knowledge that, Okay, that’s it. It’s all gonna be okay, and that’s okay. From every piece and every angle of anything anybody’s going through is just to find what you should be rooted in, ’cause likely the chaos of whatever it is that you’re experiencing could easily find… You’re not gonna find a root in the case…
0:31:05 S2: One of the things that I’ve recently learned, and it’s funny ’cause I feel like I’ve even sent this to other people in Paris meetings, but for some reason I wasn’t applying it to myself, so foster, when we meet one-on-one with our members at burn and talk about nutrition, or set goals or whatever it may be. But if you don’t take care of… If you don’t fill that bucket of self-care, which is gonna be your nutrition, it’s gonna be your fitness, whatever that means, even if it’s going out and walking and your sleep, so those are three major ones, and then other people might have other areas of some self-care that comes in as well. If you’re lacking in that, then when those external stressors come in, the way you handle it is gonna be completely different, your mood is gonna be not the same as you were taking care. It’s, for me, it was a huge OneNote, there were just things that I felt like I was also neglecting of myself, and again, for me it was sleep, so it was like everything that was happening was just my moment was it was just a…
0:32:14 S2: Baftas.
0:32:16 S1: There a specific reason not sleeping, is it just a multitude of what… It can be.
0:32:20 S2: It out had to be up at 4, and it just got to a point where 8 o’clock was not a realistic bedtime, so it was just non-stop. Five hours, six hours of sleep, or I would wake up at two in the morning and I would never go back to sleep, or you’re
0:32:36 S1: On a tetanus.
0:32:39 S2: Like Jamil, absolutely do it too, and I tell our members all the time, if you’ve got to choose between sleep and working out, I know some of our… We’ve got some night nurses, we’ve got people who really just have their crazy… The schedules that are tough, but overall, we need to see your body needs to sleep, and
0:33:01 S1: That’s… My nurse is states are what they are because they had the only work, sometimes three or four days a week because
0:33:06 S2: They catch it back up
0:33:07 S1: To eventually be not in the midst of it, but eventually… Yeah, it’s interesting ’cause I actually was talking about sleep recently, because obviously when you have newborns and kids and we were back to pretty close, that twin sometimes, but probably worse. And that was another conversation I just had, he was like, Actually, it’s worse having 16 months apart that it is having twins. I’m like, Go, thanks for that. Reassures
0:33:32 S2: Really going through this like… I never saw
0:33:35 S1: A Alawi, there’s two of them I’m sure have the word learners time at, but I went through a season of nightmares and not being able to sleep when your mind is racing out of fear, and it could have been about anything it was about family situations that are occurring, it was about things that were gonna happen to me, it was about things that were gonna happen to my kids, about things that were gonna happen to my husband or within my marriage, and they stemmed from conversations that were happening, life experiences that were unfolding, but it wasn’t until I was probably about seven or eight months in that I was so sleep-deprived. I was almost afraid to go to sleep because I didn’t want to have that and I tried… I really am not a proponent of medicines, for the most part, I try to really go into that holistic space, and I’m not an advocate for one or the other because I know it helps certain people, but I tried… I did do melatonin, I tried holy basal extract at one point, which to calm the mind, but I went… My therapist was like, Let’s try, like breaking these nightmares, and I’d been going to therapy consistently now at this point for three years, but at that point, probably two…
0:34:54 S1: And she’s like, You never mentioned that. I’m like, What? Is a composer for so long, she’s like, You’ve never brought it up. I could have helped you so long ago, but there’s so much in our life that happened, and sleep is just like something we kind of take for granted and at the same time don’t do because it’s like, Oh, it’s cool, we can not sleep six for the eight or seven hours that’s recommended, and I’ll be okay, but it really does affect nervous system, digestive system, all of the things that our body needs in order to process it, going all the way back to how we started to be still without that stillness. And while my body was still and I was laying their limp ’cause I was exhausted, miner, and so I got the practical takeaways, and if you are dealing with nightmares was around meditation. So funny that we talked about that. It was really like to exactly go through the nightmare and you could journal it if you wanted, it was encouraged to write it down, but I was doing it in the shower ’cause that was my only space without the…
0:36:04 S1: So I’m just replaying this nightmare in my head verbatim, and to create a new ending, and so you would do it and the nightmare would go through and you say, Okay, what’s the best case scenario for this to have to change because it’s likely that you’re gonna go to bed and it’s still gonna be there, but let’s come up with a new ending, and so for about three days, I did this meditation practice, it was 20 minutes, I would listen to worship music before I would meditate on the fear, and then I would listen to worship music after and focus on the difference of ending and within three days… That
0:36:42 S2: Is really cool. Rare, right? Funding.
0:36:46 S1: Right? And so we have, we have the power to do that, not just in our subconscious mind, but in our actual life, and so many people just think, This is the road I’m on. This is the cars. It was Dell. And it’s sad, it’s
0:37:01 S2: Really sad.
0:37:02 S1: But we have the strength and we have the ability, we have the access to do it.
0:37:07 S2: It’s gonna get the mindset… Got get the mindset in gets… I was watching my son’s basketball game this weekend, and they go, there’s this team that they have not… Beti was about… Scalar was, I coached Ten for a year as well in watching this… It is a winnable game. We can beat them. Yeah, they warmed up as though they were already beaten, they came out then they played terrible too, and the mindset was that they were gonna lose and they did, but I’m watching the other team and the skill set of the other team and these boys could totally compete against each other, but one came out, the team that one comes off the court and warm-ups like clapping their hands like, Yeah, let’s go, let’s go. They’re pumped up to it up, they’re united together, I’m ready to go play basketball and our boys just not in, and I’m just watching and I look it at him, I’m like, This isn’t… They’re gonna lose soden out and play, but always, always say Hard Hustle, part of hustle at it, you might not have your most Gaius… And he went out and we talked about it after.
0:38:22 S2: He goes, Mom, I really did try that, I saw you, I tell you, but if you don’t have a spot though and he’s gotta get that and he’s a lot and he’s gonna be 12, so that’s hard, but you’ve gotta have… Sometimes you’ve gotta have that advocate who can help lift you up and tell you You can do it, and their coach tried it just wasn’t gonna happen, but you could find have stepped up and start a club in his hands and be like, as we got this… It’s just somebody to Ottawa up in atonement. That’s really good. They didn’t have to.
0:38:52 S1: Yeah, they could… And that’s the thing, and it’s, we’re not gonna win it all, we’re not gonna win, or not at all, to learn to… Yeah, absolutely, I was just coming to the gym and having you there and having all those other girls there, and I remember it was like maybe two or three days after Christmas, and I walk in and one of my girlfriends there and she’s like, Hey, how are you or or Christmas, and I started bawling and she was like, Oh… And I was almost directly at the same time that we were starting… So you come on, you start talking and she’s like, Do I address this situation? Do I just focus on kale? Do I work? What do I do? And so she was like, It’s okay. And so you started, you’re like, Okay guys, let’s warm up. I’m like, I think it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here, and I cried through that whole workout, and she was… She did not know how to handle it, she gave me a hug, text me and begin things afterwards because it’s easier to reflect in that moment and not stir more emotion.
0:39:52 S1: Right, but I had had a loss, like a really huge magnitude of a loss around the holiday that’s supposed to be incredibly special and have so much like joy and happiness, and I felt like it was completely stripped from me, and yet here I am in the next space, the next place that I’m supposed to own my happiness and my entire… That pass the last three days, and therefore the time before that and the time before that were literally carrying me in such a negative way, and what she provided afterwards just in the smallest component of advocacy, and you said the word advocate is what triggered the concept of it was more than I could have, I could have gathered at the time, I didn’t have the strength, I was just sitting in the loss, and it’s so important to have advocates like built and around you, and even in the places in the space is like, I went into the gym, I was trying just focus on my body, Ebony, and she went, mind heart, so quick.
0:40:58 S2: I just got that.
0:40:58 S1: It all went out. And so it’s really important, and I just encourage people to find those people that are there to push you forward and just advocate for your happiness… Everyone’s not gonna advocate for you. Now, we live in a south is society. I am often selfish. We have to find the advocates who are willing to put their selflessness on the table
0:41:22 S2: And we… And this is something that I’m trying to get better at, to a, say, easy, when you have 400 women there all the time, but when you’re not… When you’re outside of the gym, you’ve gotta allow yourself to connect… We talk to that connection, you have to allow yourself to connect so that you do have people who are looking out for you, and so… And, uh, that was one of the things I was telling my family when I Agassi weeks ago, I had to let them in, but that they were my connection right then and there, and I’ll just tell them Pay, I’m not… Okay, yeah, so here’s what it… Here’s what is going on, you I’m feeling. And now they’re now the cannon getting nowhere, and my husband… And my husband too, I was like, What is wrong, austen’? You have to be able to connect with people today. Yeah, then you’ve got those advocates at a human, you go, but if you stay closed off and you don’t allow yourself to connect at some point they go away. Yeah.
0:42:21 S1: It’s true. Well, because people need authenticity, and that is your third word, they need it so bad, we need it so bad, and it’s been stripped away in so many different ways from us, from our children, and it’s so important for us if… Once you get it… And this is kind of that. I know that I know, yes, when I knew and now know like the who of who I am and who I am, I am able to just authentically walk in the losses and walk in the winds and advocate for others and push others forward and have that community over competition, which burn is incredibly amazing at, because there’s not that fear factor of What if I don’t succeed, what if I’m not loved, what if I don’t win, what if all of these pieces… What if I’m not accepted, people need that point of connection so deeply that with Al it, they’re doing random acts of hate versus random maximinus, and that’s where our community is right now, sitting in the midst of that, so it is… Yeah, it’s traumatizing. And so that’s an example. And now the news is doing what they do.
0:43:45 S1: Yeah, and it could be so much different. And they need voices, they need advocates, the people in those buildings need connection with people who are gonna pour into them hope and strength
0:43:59 S2: Versus… What if this happens again, you know? And it’s not to say that it won’t. Right, it’s just to say that there is hope. But what are we gonna eat? What are we gonna do right here now is our mindset gonna be going forward and… Yeah, you can’t… It’s so easy to just spiral into this dark place if you don’t have people around you helping to live for, but I had asked my husband, actually, part of the journal entry was like, What if I fail? I’m missing this, this, and this. And what if I fail? I have this opportunity, I’m gonna have this time to do this… What if I fail? And he’s just said to me, he said, We won’t let you fail. And I hadn’t shared with him my fear, and I know she is a home, but he’s got my back. My family will have my back… Yeah.
0:44:46 S1: It reminds me of beneath you therapy. It’s so important. And it’s funny. So you are laughing about that. But it is, it’s kind of a joke because of how it’s been perceived, what’s been shared with us and what’s been told to us about going to therapy like you’re sick, and it’s not that it’s not…
0:45:06 S2: It’s really not… And I don’t… I guess I never, I rally probably should have gone five years ago, were everything that I’m dealing with and feeling now… Yeah, it was everything that I felt when we first moved back from Japan to the beach, I’ve been there and it wasn’t good, but I found burner and I’ve been fulfilled, and I’ve had these amazing connections with these women, and that fear of it going away is where I was like, Oh, oh, this is all coming back
0:45:39 S1: To a legation a because…
0:45:42 S2: Don’t fix this. Yeah.
0:45:44 S1: That’s what they study for, it’s just like a pastor, it’s just like a doctor. We are okay to go see a doctor when we’re sick, but we’re not okay to go see somebody who’s willing to help our mind… Right, and that’s way more important. And the longevity of things.
0:46:02 S2: All the is bringing out stuff that ultimately, we know he sees helping you. I don’t know, I think people probably look at me sometimes a… Were you talk about therapy? I’m like, I’m not ashamed of it. I wasn’t ashamed to even go in the first one, I just don’t know what I need… I sure everybody you should go to there, I
0:46:24 S1: Say out all that time, I think it’s Imperator being an American adult
0:46:29 S2: ’cause it is, ’cause we all want all these stressors that walk around, you show me a lot of people now who can walk in… You find these one or two people that have probably met there at the teams that they have, or just their mindsets where it needs to be, or just… They truly seem to be living their best life… Sure, most people are walking around a hot mess… Oh yeah. No, no, no, continue, I’m sort of talking around a hot mess, but… Not every day.
0:47:04 S1: Yeah, right, and I was definitely one of them. No questions asked, and yet at the same time, there was this… In the word. Perfect. And it drives me bananas. Was constantly declared over top of me since I was little, like I remember it and I just… I put myself on a pedestal because I was put on a pedestal, and I just felt like I have to say right here. And so again, you said it, you walk into the gym and you see the strongest bites shines, tallest lines, prettiest does her diet just right. Drinking the Four Models of gallons of water you should drink every day and you’re like, Do I handle… I missed it, I failed, I haven’t even started, and I’ve already failed. But therapy provides a way for you to recognize why that’s the first person you see, why you feel the way you do about that person and about yourself, and then gives you tools to change your mindset.
0:48:06 S2: You… No, it’s
0:48:07 S1: So amazing. It’s so amazing. I always want to learn more and study more. And I feel like if you’re not learning, you’re dying-talysh concepts of therapy are something that really intrigued me, something I hope to continue to unpack and learn more about because it’s not just helpful for you individually, it’s helpful for every person, and that you’re advocating for your spouse, your kids, your friends, you said earlier about having an advocate as kinda hater back and those people that connect with you, and Brene Brown’s recent dare do lead book, she talks about Square squad and that whole concept just really… I just loved the wording, the phrasing of it, but more so what it meant to me, and so while it was just words that I heard about people having each side of you and make… Honours took it, and instead of it being… And I’m drawing for Haley. But you guys can’t see this. Instead of it being in the corner, I did it this way, and so it’s the person who is your mentor in front of you, and then you have the person, the people who are behind beside you, and I did these as like your sisters.
0:49:23 S1: The people who are willing to link arms with you and say like, Let’s go to keep moving forward to the burns sisters who are like, Come on, you can do this last rec, come on, you can do this last round, and cheering you on. But this person, the person who has your back, likely your spouse, I said It was your person, because there’s a lot of people who aren’t quite to that space, it could be a parent, it could be a sister or sibling, it could be a best friend. For me, and I hope for most marriages, and that person isn’t your spouse go to therapy, then you need them to be at that person who’s gonna push you up and propel you into the space that they already see you being and knowing… Just like he said, I’m not gonna let you fail
0:50:06 S2: As… It was an immediate like, Okay, he’s not gonna let me fail. Now, yeah, I had a lot of men too.
0:50:16 S1: And that’s a hard thing, ’cause that’s a vulnerability, that’s authenticity, and that was like… So individual therapy versus couples therapy is, people don’t understand, why can’t you just have that conversation at home, it’s a totally different thing when there’s this mediator who literally just listens, sometimes I do think she said more than 10 words, but… That was a really good session. She’s worth every penny. Maybe it’s the really comfortable couch, maybe is the T, I don’t know, but I would pay for it and I will pay for it until I can’t pay for it any longer and I’ll pay for it even when I can’t, I’ll find a way because it just creates… This space of vulnerability that’s very safe, I
0:51:01 S2: Know why I walk miserable every day when it’s just… Sometimes it’s just as simple as a conversation. It somebody who now judgment is just gonna help give you the tool, right.
0:51:12 S1: Love you, and at that’s the lack of… And
0:51:14 S2: Maybe it is a pastor, maybe it’s a outermost… Somebody just talking to somebody. Yeah, more so than just venting though, because… We need the tools.
0:51:26 S1: 100%. You need the tool. Yeah, because… And that’s a big concept of friendship too, because venting to someone is needed ’cause you gotta get it on your chest, but if they’re venting and then at… They’re adding to what your venting… It’s just leaving you more stressed when you walk out, ’cause you’re like, Oh yeah, she just validated my theater, so be very careful of the people that are kind of these sisters that in that square spot in church, we call it like the inner circle that you have those people that you know are there to advocate for you and are gonna give you the advice and tell you the things that you know, the other people aren’t gonna tell you. They’re gonna make you the best version of yourself. And you have done that in my life in so many ways. So I think it’s so cool that there’s that shared experience, whether we voice it, whether we say it, whether we really haven’t even spent any time other than a handful outside of the gym, 1 01, that you can have that power in so many different places, and you’re like It doesn’t have to be that.
0:52:37 S1: You come over and sit on my couch. It’s just I’m really grateful for you, I’m grateful for the time that we’ve had together. And I know it’s not over… It’s the cool thing, it’s
0:52:49 S2: Really not in… ’cause when you were connected, just do I feel like we are truly connected in conversations and it’s always thought provoking conversation. Yeah, it’s like me think good now. Yeah, I feel it’s just such a good space of all of our conversations always love
0:53:12 S1: And it’s good because even in the component of what your niche and what you bring to the table, that connection of that wholeness for me, you’re teaching me about body all the time. And it’s the example that you give, it’s the way that you share about the things that you do, whether it’s via our Facebook Live groups or things like that, and that mindset shift, but the body is where for me it really all started, and it was body shaming it was what I expected myself to look like and coming from an athlete home, I remember getting my BMI measured when I was coming home from college. I remember the time that I quit gymnastics full-time competitively, and my nana told me that It looks like I gained weight. I was 14. Oh, wow. And I remember on the freshman 15, I was demanding that I wouldn’t get it, so I did the opposite. And I lost 15 pounds my freshman year, and so just… There were so many components of my body that from the aside looking in.
0:54:24 S2: It was perfect, we just need to learn how to be comfortable in our own, whatever that may be, and you’re not comfortable in it then… How do we get there? Take action. Let’s just be healthy. And I always tell the women in the gym to stop eating for weight loss as you are gonna eat… Or weight loss. Yeah, you are never gonna achieve that level of just health that you deserve it, you eat for health and truly nourish and fuel your body… Things start to happen. Yeah, we just try to play all these games and bad bits and gimmick that user… We just can’t do it, I just can’t do that. We’re not gonna stick to it. So it’s just how do you shift that mindset to what food should look like
0:55:12 S1: It or… Kinda reminds me of the… I don’t know who is by, or you might remember, we have another guest in the room, you don’t see that, we hear this song that says, I’m not gonna sing or maybe I’m gonna single help me work the Healy instead of the key, or the vice versa. And so it’s talking about what is the other words that come after that, it says, We pray so much, we wanna be healed, but we don’t pray for the healer, right. We wanna be well, but we’re not praying for the one who gives the water of the well, and so… Shifting that mindset, I wanna be skinny. It’s not about that, it’s about I wanna be well, I wanna be whole. And so reaching beyond what the initial want is, into the deeper piece of really what you need and wants… Or everywhere, I want it, but what do you need, what do you mean? And really focusing on that. What does your body need? For nourishment, not what do you want? We all want a glass of wine in a recess cut, but that doesn’t mean that’s what we need, it’s just what we want.
0:56:30 S1: And I have a session with cereal, it’s a bad thing, and my husband knows that when he met me, literally, I was eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and it wasn’t because I was on a college budget, I just really liked it, and Special K due it was around the time I just really like cereal and I like whole milk, and so I was eating zero, I would eat other meals too, sometimes I would have five meals a day so that I can have my breakfast, lunch and dinner… A cereal, so recently, and I’ve been really good about it the last two years, not having serial, and Gary will literally commend me like I’m so proud of you for not going down stairs and getting cereal, I would be pregnant and be 3 AM. I was starving, I go get cereal. So Michelle Lapin, who has been on the podcast recently, she sent me a me, and I don’t even know if she knows that procession, but she said, serials, like a best friend. It’s been there for you through it all, it’s been there for you during the late nights when you’re starving, it’s been there for you is to come for food, all these things, and then I could get to of my mind.
0:57:31 S1: So I had some last night. It was he a Man Series.
0:57:36 S2: A chain something, flagstone, rainbows
0:57:44 S1: On like each other. So no, I was on the good delicious stuff, but it just, it makes you realize that your mind has the power over… Everything else that you do has the power over if you’re gonna finish that Spartan race, you’re gonna finish that marathon, if you’re gonna finish that swim, and anything physical, if you’re gonna finish giving child birth or all of the things. And so it also has the ability to put you in a really dark place. And so I really love, and it probably will be along with something along the title, is that being present, being connected and being authentic, and that is such an amazing way to step into this new season for yourself, but also you’ve already done that in the season, you’ve been in whether you realize it or not, and so it’s not something new, right? It’s holding on to what is now rooted, right, because you know that you know.
0:58:42 S2: Yeah, I know that. I know it, it doesn’t matter. And that’s been the closing… It doesn’t matter where I am, I can still be present. It’s so good and make… Connection is just not gonna be in the same physical environment. Sure, sure, there’s a lot of peace in that. Self-love, Self-worth, feeling worthy, and just… Feeling happy with who you are or who you’re becoming. So true, and
0:59:13 S1: That is the key to it. I think the key of all of it is that none of us are perfect who… None of us have it all figured out, we are all becoming…
0:59:23 S2: Yes.
0:59:24 S1: We are all literally walking into the next best version of ourselves, and what does that look like today is gonna be drastically different than what you want from your life, the next best version of you are a decade from now.
0:59:36 S2: It’s gonna be different for one through this thing… And they just put out a females go, but it was like, again, believe, become… And it was just like, I mean, that’s why I love burn. I’m like, Yes. And it just can go in to say, What was that began… It was the Kim… And I hope I was saying it right, but it doesn’t have… This is what I’m not sure, but again, the leaves have really become a… Wow, saltwater, all the hats. There’s a… But the other piece of it was just all of that, and it’s just that. That first, you have to begin, you do table take this step, you may even have to believe and then begin a…
1:00:21 S1: SSO gonna begin. I think you gotta be… I gotta begin, I
1:00:24 S2: Do a lot of things to it a gym, their beginning, but they don’t really believe until they do… Yeah, exactly. Telling you my favorite transformations are the mental estate, physical ones are cool, but that mental shift of people who come in is like the coolest thing
1:00:43 S1: Filters over into every other part of their life because they’re like, Man, I did this, I have the power to so much more… What is it gonna be, whether it’s in entrepreneurship, whether it’s in your mothering, whether it’s in your relationships, I mean, you just have so much power at your fingertips, it’s that accessing like it… Because it’s there, it’s already there. Just like the therapist, you already know why you’re hurting, you already know why you’re broken, but I’m gonna teach you on how to fix it, you’re beginning by sitting on the couch and we’re gonna believe together… Yeah, so that you can become the best version of yourself and eventually be still in the confidence of who we’ve become, so… Cool, so good. I’m so grateful to have you here and I both people got lots of goodness on this amazing Monday morning, and we just wanna… I just wanna, I hope you’ll join me in close in prayer today for Virginia Beach for the lives that were lost, for the families that were lost, the families that are now grieving, God, we just thank you so much for this incredibly intentional time that it is a space and a place that we can just come and be and rest and know that even when the world a spiraling out of control or that you are good, and that you already have an answer to all the questions people are asking, that you already knew, even in this pain, that there was gonna be resolved, God that you’re allowing hurt in a way that people can’t quite comprehend, but it’s not because you’re making it happen, God, but instead you’re there to restore it and allow people to know that they know that you are good.
1:02:40 S1: That you are well, that you are alive and at work every second of every day, even in such horrible circumstances, gotta just pray on behalf of our city, on behalf of the leaders, on behalf of the families and the workers that are going back into the city. This week, Lord, that they would just have a sense of peace that they can’t quite comprehend, that you would just encompass each of their hearts and their minds and their souls in a love and all knowing love that you are present and that you are good. I thank you so much for all the things that I can’t even comprehend that you’re doing, because I know that I know that you are good, and I thank you for this time and for the city that’s just gonna rise together to be strong. That we’ve always been strong, and that now we have an opportunity to show it and showcase it in such a way that the whole nation can see it, God, and that were rooted in you, and that is the premise of all of the healing that’s coming in your precious name, we pray, Amen. Hey, hope in today’s episode, you sense an Ignite to an ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your wholeness journey.
1:04:09 S1: Before you go, let’s solidify the flame. I’d love for you to take a step right now in declaring your take away by snapping a pic of the episode you tuned in to share your sparked moment and tag me at Fifth with the hashtag faith podcast, so I can help you stay accountable. We’re in this together, right? Community over competition is the motto. I’d also be credibly grateful if you took an extra to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast was in a Let’s Fulham and share the gift of wholeness with everybody. Till next time, cheers to your health and happiness.